Attack
by CTI-Jenn
Summary: A CSI is attacked at a diner.  The identity of her attacker surprises everyone.  Trust and friendships are put to the test as the team tries to figure out what happened.
1. Prologue

Author's notes: Yeah, I'm being bad and starting another story when I have yet to finish my other two. This is actually the first idea I ever had for a CSI: NY story. I had written some of it out longhand but then abandoned it to other ideas. It decided to invade my life and demand that I pull it back out and finish it. I couldn't find the original so I had to start over. I hope you like it. It takes place early Season 3, not long after the episode Love Run Cold but way before Silent Night. The prologue is a little short but it reminds me of what you usually see in an episode before the credits roll. I put it at an M rate due to language in the next chapter. I prefer to err on the side of caution and make it a higher rating than make a mistake by going to low. Feedback is always appreciated.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Prologue

Detective Mac Taylor parked the Chevy Avalanche haphazardly next to the car he recognized as Don Flack's. Before emerging from the vehicle, he took a moment to survey the scene, wondering once again just why he was here. The street had almost been turned into a parking lot as five police cars were interspersed among two ambulances, their flashing lights piercing the grayness of the day that had been threatening rain all morning. He knew it wasn't a murder; he hadn't been paged to the crime scene officially. Instead, he'd been in his office working on a mountain of paperwork that never seemed to end when Flack had called and tersely requested that he come to Eduardo's Diner. The homicide detective hadn't explained but the urgency in his voice had convinced Mac to come down.

He got out of the vehicle, curious as to what was going on. He was familiar with Eduardo's Diner as was practically every NYPD officer. Eddie, the owner of Eduardo's, treated every officer to a free meal every Thursday as a thank you for protecting the city. Mac didn't know of any officer who didn't make it a point to stop by Eduardo's every Thursday either for lunch or dinner for a hot delicious meal. Today, however, wasn't Thursday.

Just as he was approaching the diner, paramedics emerged from the restaurant pushing a stretcher between them. At first all Mac could tell was that the patient was a female who'd obviously been beaten severely. The seasoned officer winced at the wounds that he could see and then his stomach lurched as he caught sight of familiar honey colored curls drifting over the unrecognizable face. Then he shook his head. It had to be a coincidence; Lindsay Monroe was back at the lab working. She and Danny had poring over the evidence from a homicide scene the night before all morning. Then he frowned. He hadn't noticed her when he left and it was lunch time. Had she taken her lunch break and decided to come to Eduardo's? He knew the young detective liked to frequent the diner at times other than the free meal so it wouldn't be unusual.

He stopped the paramedics so he could get a better look. He swore as he realized that this unconscious victim was indeed the spunky CSI who had carved a niche for herself at the lab in the year she'd been with them. She'd been beaten viciously, her right cheek taking the worst of the damage as it appeared to be cracked open. He doubted that even if she were awake, she'd be able to open her right eye at all with the swelling that had already set in.

"What happened?" He managed to bark out to the medics who appeared impatient to transport their patient.

"All we know is that she was assaulted inside the diner and then was accidentally tasered by the officers attempting to subdue the assailant. The officers inside can tell you more. If you'll excuse us-"

Mac was flabbergasted that one of his own could have been beaten so severely that he wanted to jump into the back of the ambulance with the medics just to make sure Lindsay was going to be okay. Instead he stepped back where the paramedics could load the stretcher into the back of the ambulance. As much as he wanted to go with her, he wanted to make sure that her assailant had been caught even more. Before the driver closed the ambulance door, Mac asked one final question. "Where are you taking her?"

"Trinity."

The driver ran around to the front of the ambulance and Mac waited until the emergency vehicle pulled away before turning back toward the diner. He needed to find Flack, needed answers to the questions swirling around his head. He didn't have to look far; the diner door opened once again and another stretcher was pushed out with Flack and several uniformed officers following right behind. Once again Mac's heart skipped a beat as he recognized the figure in the second stretcher. Danny? It made sense that the young detective from Staten Island would have been with Lindsay. The two were regularly partnered together on crimes and it wasn't unusual for the two to take lunch breaks together.

Danny was also unconscious but Mac couldn't see any evidence of wounds on the young man. Mac frowned. "Flack, what the hell happened here? Tell me we have the bastard responsible."

Flack spoke softly to one of the uniformed officers who then jumped into the ambulance with the medic and Danny. Flack then pulled Mac to one side as the second ambulance pulled off. "You're not going to believe it and you're definitely not going to like it. Hell, I'm not sure I believe it and I've heard it from everyone in the diner."

It took every ounce of self control Mac possessed not to lash out at the younger man. Two of his people had just been taken by ambulance and he was no closer to knowing what had happened. The only thing that prevented him from completely losing his composure was that he could tell Flack was delaying telling the story not to drive him crazy but because he was still trying to process the knowledge himself. He sighed. "Do I need to go question them for myself? Help me out here, Don. Two of my people are on their way to the hospital. I want to know what happened and who's responsible."

Flack glanced back at the diner, still trying to reconcile the version of the facts he'd been told with everything he'd ever believed. It just didn't make sense. "Everyone said the same thing. Lindsay and Danny were eating lunch together. Everything was fine. Nobody even noticed the first blow; it wasn't until Lindsay was on the ground being kicked in the stomach while her attacker held her down with a boot stepping on her wrist that anybody realized something was wrong. They tried to intervene but Lindsay identified herself as an officer and told them to stay back. Someone called 911 and the first officers arrived within five minutes. Lindsay was no longer on the ground but was still being beaten like a rag doll. They tried to taser her attacker but Lindsay stepped in their path and took the charge straight to the chest. She lost consciousness and the other officers were able to subdue her attacker."

The viciousness of the attack sickened Mac but he was still confused. Where had Danny been during all of this and why hadn't he intervened to help Lindsay? Had he been incapacitated first or had there been a second assailant? He nodded toward the diner. "The assailant still in there? I want to talk to him. Find out why the hell he attacked my people."

He took a step toward the diner but Flack's voice stopped him before he could take another one. "He's not in there, Mac. He was transported to the hospital."

Mac whirled back to face Flack, his eyes blazing with righteous fury. "You mean to tell me the asshole who beat Lindsay senseless was transported before she was? What the hell was anyone thinking?"

Flack shook his head, hating this part the most. "Not before, after."

The head of the crime lab's eyes narrowed as he processed what Flack was trying to tell him. He'd arrived in time to see Lindsay transported to the hospital and the only other person to be taken to the hospital after that was Danny. Once again, his stomach dropped and he began to shake his head. It wasn't possible. There was no way what Flack seemed to be suggesting could be true. There had to be another explanation. "Was he taken out the back?"

Flack shook his head. He had a feeling the disbelief he was seeing in Mac's eyes was a mirror reflection of his own. When he had first started hearing the story from the people inside the diner at the time of the attack, he'd felt it had to be some horrible misunderstanding but he'd had to concede that it must be true as he heard the same story from every single person inside. He didn't understand it and he couldn't explain it. He wanted to hold on to what he'd always known to be the truth but it was impossible as the contradiction kept being reiterated by everyone he talked to.

"Mac, everyone said the same thing. Danny attacked Lindsay."


	2. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: Not all of your questions will be answered here but perhaps some of them will be. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the prologue - Csifan326, canucklehead, webdlfan, RandomTVfan30, LoveIsInTheAir4DL, Daisy1966, and Afrozenheart412. Language in this chapter is a little rough which is why I gave it the M rating. I hope you enjoy. Feedback is always appreciated.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attacked

Chapter 1

"Mac, everyone said the same thing. Danny attacked Lindsay."

For several moments, Mac just stared at Flack unable to believe that Don could even begin to accuse his friend of such a heinous act. Then he shook his head. "No. It's not possible. I saw Lindsay before she was taken away. Danny is not capable of such violence against anyone, least of all Lindsay."

Mac wasn't as oblivious to what went on under his nose as people liked to believe. He'd noticed the almost instant attraction between Danny and Lindsay probably before they had even noticed it themselves. He hadn't said anything, trusting the two to keep things professional at work. They hadn't disappointed him; in fact he wasn't entirely sure how far they had taken the relationship beyond a great working camaraderie and playful banter that made watching them work together entertaining.

Flack looked equally frustrated. "I wouldn't have thought so either. I still remember how crazy he was just a few weeks ago when Monroe did that undercover stint with the diamonds that got a little hairy. Despite that fact that everyone in that diner confirmed that it was Danny who attacked her, I still wouldn't have believed it if the uni's hadn't corroborated the story. Mac, it gets worse. Everyone I talked to said that it wasn't just an assault but that Danny was like a man possessed; completely out of control and beastlike."

"There's got to be a reasonable explanation. I'm going to get Hawkes down here. I want everything they ate today bagged and tagged. Eddie has cameras inside. I want the tape pulled and taken to the lab. I'll get Stella to meet us at the hospital to process both Lindsay and Danny. I want their statements as soon as they are able to give them."

Flack nodded. "You know IAB is going to be all over this."

Mac frowned. "That's why we've got to figure this out as quickly as we can. Can you take care of things here and direct Hawkes when he arrives? I want to make sure the ER doctor gets a blood sample from Danny as quickly as possible. If he was drugged, I want to know with what."

Flack promised and then also assured Mac that he would get to the hospital as soon as he could. As Mac made his way back to the Avalanche, he pulled out his cell phone and called Stella first. Knowing that Stella would be upset to learn what was going on with their friends, he decided to hold off telling her the full story. He simply told her they had victims that needed processing at Trinity and for her to meet him there with the kit. Once he knew she was enroute, he called Sheldon. He filled the former ME in on the whole situation as he knew it. Hawkes expressed his concern about Lindsay and stated his absolute belief in Danny before promising to get to the diner as quickly as possible. He also assured Mac he would process the scene with a fine tooth comb; if there was anything there that would prove Danny's innocence, he would find it.

The final call Mac had to make was the one he dreaded the most but was the one he had no choice but to make. As succinctly as possible, he explained to Sinclair what had happened. As he figured, the Chief of Detectives wasn't happy and immediately called for Danny's badge. Mac urged him to hold off on any action until the team had a chance to investigate but promised that if they found anything to indicate that Danny had acted of his own volition, losing his badge would be the least of his worries. Neither man doubted the veracity of his statement.

By the time he finished his calls, he had arrived at Trinity. After parking in the garage, he made his way to the emergency entrance and inquired about both Lindsay and Danny. The duty nurse had just given him the number of Lindsay's cubicle when he heard Stella calling his name. He turned to her grimly, seeing her approach with her kit in hand.

"Mac, what do we have?"

Knowing an explosion was imminent but wanting to delay it as long as possible, Mac hedged his answer. "Assault at Eduardo's diner."

Stella nodded. "I think I heard Lindsay and Danny making plans to have lunch there. Did they call it in? Is that why it wasn't paged out the usual way?"

Mac sighed knowing he could put it off no longer. He led her down the hallway and paused outside the cubicle. "Lindsay was the victim."

Stella paled as she stepped into the cubicle. She dropped her kit at the door and immediately went to the younger woman's bedside. Lindsay was still unconscious and, if anything, the cut and bruises on her face looked worse than what Mac remembered. She'd been changed out of her clothes and into a hospital gown. There was a red mark in the unmistakable outline of a boot print on her lower right arm that would quickly changed to an ugly bruise. Wires ran from under the gown to a heart monitor next to the bed. The squiggly lines were fast and erratic and Mac wasn't sure if it was from the taser blast or if even unconscious she was still upset from the attack.

"My God, Mac. Look at her. The bastard stepped on her arm and used her face as a punching bag. What happened? Did they walk in on something? Where's Danny? Did he get the person responsible?"

Mac reached over and gave Lindsay's uninjured hand a reassuring squeeze, hoping in some way to convey to the unconscious woman that she was safe. How the hell had Danny done this? Even if there was a rationale explanation, how did they recover from the aftermath?

"We don't know all the details- the why or the how, but we do know the who. Stella, it was Danny."

She shook her head. "What was Danny? I'm surprised he let her out of his sight. Is he okay? Was he hurt as well? You said victims on the phone."

"Detectives, the nurses told me you were here." A deep male voice stopped Mac from having to admit the truth to Stella. A middle-aged doctor wearing a white coat stepped into the cubicle looking over a chart in his hands. He shook hands with both Mac and Stella before introducing himself. "Dr. Terry. I'm the ER attending today. I'm glad you are here. I knew you'd want to get pictures before we treated her injuries. As soon as your done, I've ordered a full CT scan; it's the best way we have to check for both broken bones and internal bleeding."

Mac nodded, his expression grim. "What do you suspect?"

"I'm worried about her arm obviously and her ribs but I also suspect she might have a fractured cheekbone. Her heart rate is a little erratic and that has me concerned. A taser right to the heart isn't what they had in mind when they designed that nifty little device."

Stella turned toward Mac. "She was tazed as well? Damnit, Mac, who did this? Please tell me someone tazed his ass as well."

The doctor nodded. "I'd say he got hit about four different times. He's still unconscious but I expect he'll be waking up pretty soon. I also figured you'd want pictures of his hands before we cleaned him up."

Mac could almost see the steam coming out of Stella's ears. "He's here as well? Let me have a few minutes alone with him."

"Stella…" Mac began, needing to make Stella understand that it was Danny who was responsible for the attack but the doctor continued.

"I don't understand, Detectives. The officer who rode in with the suspect said these two work together. Not exactly the behavior I'd expect from partners. Any idea what made him snap like that?"

Stella shook her head. "Partners?" Then she paled. "Mac, you aren't seriously telling me that Danny…"

Before she could finish her question, Danny's agitated voice pierced the quiet. "Damnit, what the fuck? Untie me now you stupid prick."

Stella turned on her heel ready to go confront her friend but Mac took her by the arm. "Stay with Lindsay. Bag her clothes and take the pictures so the doctor can do his job. We don't know why Danny attacked her but we both know it's not something he would typically do. Don't make assumptions. I'll go talk with him."

"Mac," Stella almost growled but Mac shook his head.

"Stella, if you can't be professional and do your job let me know and I'll get someone else down here. Both Lindsay and Danny are our friends and they deserve our very best to help them through this. Can you do that?"

They stared at each other for a moment and Mac could almost see Stella reigning in her emotions before she nodded. With just a hint of a grim smile, Mac released her and followed the doctor down the hall to where Danny had been taken. The young detective was struggling against the restraints they had put on him upon his arrival at the emergency room. He was bucking on the stretcher wildly trying to loosen the straps that held him captive. His glasses were sitting askew on his face having been dislodged from their normal position as he struggled. The veins in his neck were distended and his face was red. He was still screaming at the officer who had been stationed in the cubicle with him. Flack had said that the witness accounts described Danny as almost beastlike and it didn't look like the taser blasts had changed that.

As soon as Mac entered the room, Danny started to calm down but he still pulled at the straps that held him in place. "Mac, thank God. What's going on here? Why do they have me tied to this bed? What happened? Unstrap these damn things."

Mac reached out and put a calming hand on Danny's shoulder. Now he could see the bruised and bloody mess his knuckles were in and it made the older man almost physically sick to know that those injuries had happened at the expense of Lindsay's face and body. He said a silent prayer that Danny would be able to satisfactorily explain what had taken place in the diner.

"Danny, I need you to calm down. You've got to tell me what happened and you can't do that if you are screaming like this."

The younger man continued to writhe on the stretcher and Mac was pretty sure it was no longer in it's original position despite the brakes being on the bed. The heart monitor Danny had been connected to was even more erratic than Lindsay's had been but Mac was sure that had more to do with Danny's emotional state than the taser blasts.

"What the hell are you talking about? Am I in a hospital? What the hell happened?"

It was almost easy to see how Danny in his current emotional state could be responsible for the savage beating but Mac still couldn't understand what had precipitated it. He needed to project a clear sense of calm that would hopefully calm Danny down enough that they could get some answers.

"Danny, what do you remember? Start at the beginning of your day and leave nothing out. Can you do that for me?"

If anything Mac's calm demeanor only further upset Danny who felt like he wasn't getting the answers he needed fast enough. His attempts to break through the straps increased and if his legs hadn't also been fastened to the bed he might have actually upended the stretcher. The ER doctor pulled Mac back toward the doorway. "I'm going to have to medicate him if he can't calm down. Not only am I worried about him hurting himself trying to pull free of those straps, his blood pressure is getting dangerously high and I'm worried about him stroking out. Not to mention, I can't let him continue to disrupt the ER like this; I have other patients to think about."

Mac had to acknowledge the wisdom in what the doctor was saying. It didn't appear he was going to get much out of Danny until then anyway. "Can you take a blood sample first? And is there anyway you can give him something that will calm him down without sedating him? I really need answers to what happened and I can't get them if he's unconscious."

The doctor nodded. "Already took the blood sample; took one from Detective Monroe as well. SOP on assault cases like this. We'll run a full tox screen. Results should be back in about an hour. Anything I give him could cause drowsiness but I think you should be able to get information from him before it happens."

A nurse appeared at the cubicle with a syringe; apparently the doctor had ordered it before pulling Mac aside. He approached Danny's stretcher. "Detective Messer, I'm going to give you something to calm you down. You'll feel a little sting."

"Fuck you. You want me to calm down, unfasten these straps and tell me what the hell is going on. Mac, quit ignoring me over there. Tell me what's going on. Where's Montana? She'll tell me what's happening. MONTANA?"

The doctor ignored Danny's outburst and quickly injected the contents into Danny's arm. In just a couple of minutes the effects were obvious. His attempts to bust out of the straps lessened and he just lay there breathing hard, his jaws clenched and the veins on his neck still distended. Satisfied, the doctor nodded to Mac that it was okay to continue. Quietly, the doctor slipped out of the cubicle, leaving his patient alone with Mac and the uniformed officer.

Mac pulled a chair closer so that he could be more at eye level with the distraught detective. It hadn't escaped his notice that Danny had called for Lindsay and hoped that was a good sign that Danny hadn't been in control of his actions at the diner. "Danny, I know you are upset but we are trying to help you. We have to leave the straps on for now but that can change if you help us out here. Something happened and we need your help figuring it out. Do you think you can do that?"

It took a moment or two for the words to register in Danny's head enough for him to nod. Mac smiled reassuringly. As much as he wanted to know what happened at the diner, he felt it best to start earlier in the day with things he knew as well. "You came to work this morning and you and Lindsay were processing the evidence from the Stevens murder last night. Do you remember that?"

Again Danny nodded. "Yeah, we worked on it all morning. I thought I was going to grow cross-eyed looking in the microscope. Montana was processing the clothes."

Danny allowed himself to get lost for a moment in the memory and as he did, his whole demeanor changed. His body lost some of its tenseness and his breathing slowed slightly. The morning hadn't been that different from any of the other mornings they had worked together.

_He hadn't said anything but he'd been concerned about Lindsay lately. She hadn't been herself ever since the night she'd stood him up for what should have been their first date. He hadn't pressed her for details other than hearing that she was dealing with things that made dating him impossible. He'd promised to be her friend and even though he'd been hurt by her rejection, he'd meant it. But even though they continued to work well together, she just hadn't been her usual self. He could see pain he couldn't identify in her eyes and it concerned him more than her not showing up for the date had ever hurt him. _

_A low growling sound interrupted the quiet of the lab. Danny looked up, a playful smirk on his face that grew as he recognized the flush of a blush crept into her cheeks. "Hungry?"_

"_Shut up. I missed breakfast this morning cause I got called in to work the crime scene." Her stomach growled once more and this time Danny laughed out loud. _

"_I gotta tell ya, Montana, I can't be expected to work under these conditions."_

_He was about to return to the microscope when something soft hit him in the side of the face. He looked down to see a wadded up latex glove sitting on the table where it had landed after been chucked at him. He picked it up between two fingers and looked at Lindsay who was trying hard not to laugh while looking completely innocent. For just a moment it was like nothing had changed between them and Danny didn't want the moment to end. "Resorting to violence, Montana? Here I was about to volunteer to buy you lunch since you missed breakfast and what thanks do I get? You start throwing prophylactics at me. Just for that, I should make you buy lunch instead."_

_Lindsay rolled her eyes, looking more at ease than he'd seen her look in a couple of weeks. Danny was glad to see it, hoping that maybe whatever demons had been chasing her had disappeared. "Fine, if I'm buying, then I get to choose the place. We're going to Eduardo's."_

_Danny feigned confusion. "But it's not Thursday."_

_He loved winding her up, had since the day he met her. It was so easy to do and he never knew what to expect as a reaction. She could, no question about it, give as good if not better than she took. The second latex glove that she tossed at him hit him square on the nose. _

Mac nodded. This was a good clear memory and Danny sounded more like himself. "So you went to lunch? Anything unusual about it?"

Danny shook his head and it was clear the drug was working in his system. His eyes were almost glassy and a glance at the monitor showed his blood pressure was still high but not quite as dangerously so. "We were joking about something; I don't remember what. Then we…" He paused, closing his eyes trying to remember but it was clear that it was all a blank. "Then we… dammit, Mac; why can't I remember what happened at lunch? Did something happen? Where's Montana? Why isn't she here?"

Mac had interviewed many suspects and witnesses in his years as an officer. He could tell when someone was lying to him or faking amnesia but he was certain Danny was telling the truth. Whatever happened must have happened after they left the lab and it had apparently caused Danny not only to snap but to lose any memory of the event itself. Mac took a deep breath knowing he'd have to fill in at least some of the holes in the hope that it would trigger some sort of memory.

"Danny, Lindsay was attacked at the diner - "

Danny tried to rise off the bed but the straps holding him down limited his movements. "What? What happened? Why don't I remember it? Is she okay? Where is she? Mac, you gotta let me loose so I can check on her. Why am I tied down like this? What's going on? Tell me I took the bastard out that hurt her."

"You didn't but I just might, you asshole." Stella Bonosera strode into the cubicle, her eyes almost flashing fire. Before Mac could stop her, she was right in Danny's face and it was clear the woman was even more upset than she'd been when he'd left her with Lindsay. Had something more happened? "I warned you, Danny, when you first started dancing around that attraction you had for her that Lindsay wasn't just some random fling and that you'd better not hurt her. You promised me it wouldn't be like that and I believed you. I thought if anything it was her heart that might be in danger from you; I never would have believed you would hurt her physically."

"Stella." Mac began quietly. He'd warned her that she had to keep her professionalism but the Greek woman's temper had obviously gotten the better of her. He just wished he knew exactly what had set her off.

Danny pulled against the straps once more, his face contorted in confusion at her words. "What the hell are you talking about, Stella? What have you been smoking? I would never hurt Montana. It would never happen. Tell her Mac. You know I wouldn't. It's not possible."

"Not possible? No I didn't think it was possible either until I saw the proof staring at me in vivid color. How long has it been going on? How many times have you hurt her?"

"Stella." This time Mac's tone was sharper and it got her attention. She whirled to face him.

"You think he must have been under the influence of something but this isn't the first time he's hurt her." Without giving Mac time to respond, she retrieved the camera and pulled up images. "Look what he did to her, Mac."

Mac didn't want to see the pictures. He'd seen Lindsay's face firsthand and it made him sick to think the young woman had been hurt so brutally. "I've seen it, Stella and it pisses me off as much as it does you but taking it out on Danny before we have all the answers won't help. He doesn't remember what happened at the diner."

Stella shot the restrained man a death glare. "What about a couple of weeks ago? Do you remember that, Danny? What, were you so pissed off at her for not showing up for your date that you wanted to get even with her? Was that the first time you hurt her or were there other times as well?"

The stretcher lurched about two feet to the right as Danny threw himself to the side trying to use brute force to free himself. His face was once more red and the distended veins in his neck were pulsating in fury. The machine monitoring his vitals began to alarm as once more his blood pressure raised dangerously high. "Fuck it, Stella. I ain't ever laid a hand on Montana. Damn it. I wouldn't and even if I did lose my mind and want to she'd probably lay me flat before I got a chance. Has someone hurt her? I want to see her? I gotta see her for myself. Unstrap these fucking straps before I fucking break something in the attempt."

Stella was just as loud as she retaliated. "Your hands tell a different story, Danny. Look at them. They are all busted up from the beating you gave her. You didn't just lay your hand on her but you stepped on her arm and left your damn boot print on her arm. You kicked her in the ribs. What else have you done to her?"

"Fuck you, Stella. You've lost your fucking mind."

Mac winced at the language coming out of Danny's mouth. He'd heard the younger man swear before but never quite like this. Not even after his brother had been beaten into a coma had Danny spewed out such language as if he were ordering a pizza.

The ER doctor stepped back into the cubicle, his expression harsh. "That's enough. He might be the principal suspect in your investigation and I get that you might not be very happy with him. However, in this room he's my patient and his welfare comes before any of your righteous indignation. If an officer has to stay in the room, that's fine but everyone else please go to the waiting room. I'll let you know when you can come back in."

Despite Danny's loud protests that they couldn't leave without telling him what was going on, Mac gently gripped Stella's arm and led her out into the hallway. His expression was grim. "What was that in there, Stella? I count on you to be professional and objective on every case. I know Lindsay is your friend but so is Danny. You went in there prepared to be his judge, jury, and executioner. Why?"

The woman was practically shaking with anger and a lone fat tear slipped down her cheek. "He hurt her, Mac. Her body has the bruises to prove it. And he's laying there denying it."

Mac ran his hand over his face; he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so tired so early in the day. "What were you talking about in there about today not being the first time?"

Again she handed him the camera and this time he took it and looked at the picture she wanted him to see. It was of Lindsay's upper left arm and shoulder. A ringed bruise circled her upper arm and it was obvious someone had roughly grabbed her there hard enough to leave the imprint of a hand mark on her arm. The same shoulder had a vicious bruise as if it had slammed into something hard and unforgiving. He frowned. These weren't bruises from today; they were much older. "These look to be about two or three weeks old. Any chance it happened during the Holly case while she was undercover?"

Stella shook her head, visibly calming down. "Aside from ringing ears from the flash bomb, she wasn't hurt. Mac, I photographed every bruise on her body but I didn't find any defensive wounds. She didn't fight him, apparently not today or when she got those other bruises."

The lack of defensive wounds concerned Mac just as much as the actual bruises did. Lindsay was more than capable of taking care of herself. Even if Danny was drugged when he attacked her or if he caught her by surprise, she should have been defend herself before she'd been hurt so severely. The fact that it appeared that she hadn't even tried worried him. "I have no choice but to believe the witness statements that he carried out today's attack. Still, we don't know that Danny was responsible for those older bruises. Won't know anything until Lindsay regains consciousness and can tell us. Take their clothes and the pictures back to the lab and process everything. Then you can help Hawkes with the evidence from the diner. I'll photograph Danny's hands with my cell and send you those photos later."

"Mac -" Stella's voice was hard and it was clear that she didn't like what he wanted her to do but Mac refused to budge.

"Stella, this is a sensitive case. Sinclair is already gunning for Danny's head on a platter which you appear only too happy to give him. You know as well as I do that we can't get ahead of the evidence on this. Too much is at stake for both Danny and Lindsay. Trust me; if we don't uncover a satisfactory reason behind all this Danny is going to be in more trouble than even he can handle. I just don't want him to have to cross that bridge until we're sure it's necessary."

"I love Danny. Mac, you know I do but you saw Lindsay's face-"

"If you can't be objective for Danny's sake, then do it for Lindsay's. This has a potential of blowing up on her as well. Run this by the book so it doesn't come back to bite either one of them. Can you do that?"

Reluctantly Stella nodded. Without another word she gathered up the evidence and her kit and stormed out of the emergency department. She bumped past Flack on the way but didn't even acknowledge his presence. Flack watched her go and then joined Mac in the hallway. "She didn't look happy."

Mac shook his head. "I guess I can't really blame her. You saw Lindsay's face; that kind of violence brings out the worst in all of us. Not knowing exactly what happened just makes it worse. I don't suppose you watched the video from Eduardo's did you?"

Flack shook his head. "I know I probably should have but I couldn't. Danny's my friend and I just couldn't watch that video knowing it might change the way I see him. Have you been able to get any information out of either of them?"

Mac also answered in the negative. "Lindsay's still unconscious and Danny doesn't remember anything that happened."

Flack shifted uncomfortably. "Mac, I got a call from Sinclair on the ride over. As soon as Danny is released from the hospital, I'm to arrest him and take him down to booking."

Mac swore quietly. He wasn't completely surprised but he'd hoped that he'd convinced Sinclair to give him time to investigate. He wasn't sure if he was more bothered by the fact that Sinclair was pressing for Danny's arrest or the fact that he'd charged Danny's best friend with the task of carrying out the arrest. "I'm sorry, Flack. I'll try to figure out something that will keep you from having to do that without either of you getting in trouble for it."

The doctor stepped out of the cubicle. Mac turned to face him. "How is he?"

"I had no choice but to fill him in on what happened to his partner. I'd hope it would help settle him down but it just upset him in a different way. I had to give him another sedative but I'm still worried about his blood pressure. You can go back in if you promise not to get him riled up again."

Mac promised. Then the doctor continued. "I got a page that Detective Monroe's CT scans are back. I'm going to go take a look at them to see what treatment she needs. The nurses will know how to find me if you need me."

Before he could leave, Mac stopped him. "Thank you, Dr. Terry. Not just for taking care of my people but for caring about them as well."

The doctor smiled. "Taking care of patients is easier if you care about them first. I'll let you know when Detective Monroe wakes up."

As the doctor made his way down the corridor, Flack and Mac stepped back into the cubicle. Danny was no longer fighting the restraints but it was obvious he was still upset. As he noticed the two men come in, he turned toward them, his eyes red from unshed tears. "Mac, Stella said I…then that doc agreed with her. But I couldn't. I wouldn't. Tell me I didn't."

Danny was too upset to even get all of the words out but Mac knew what he was trying to say. The older man said a silent prayer that there really would be a good reason for what happened because he wasn't sure Danny was going to be able to forgive himself even if there was. Mac once again pulled the chair close to the stretcher that had been adjusted back to it's normal position. "Danny, Lindsay was attacked and yes all the witness accounts say that you were the one who hurt her. We don't know all the facts yet but I promise you I'm going to get to the bottom of it. I'm willing to trust there's a good explanation but you've got to trust that I'm going find it. Okay?"

Reluctantly Danny nodded. It almost scared Flack to see how deeply affected his friend was. He wasn't sure he'd seen him this upset after his brother had been beaten. He wished he could offer some sort of reassurance but everything he thought of seemed like empty platitudes. Mac continued.

"Danny, Stella found evidence of older bruises on Lindsay indicative of past abuse. Do you know anything about it?"

Danny shook his head, his eyes heavy from the combination of sedatives he'd been given. "I promise you, Mac; I never laid a hand on her. You gotta believe me."

Mac gave the younger man's arm a reassuring pat. "We'll talk about it later. Get some rest while you can. That doctor of yours isn't going to be happy with either of us if your blood pressure doesn't come down considerably."

"Gotta talk to Montana." Danny muttered drowsily. He was already half asleep. "She must hate me. Hate myself."

Then the restrained man was asleep. Flack frowned. "He's in rough shape isn't he?"

Mac nodded. "I'm not sure who's in worse shape; Danny or Lindsay. I've got to figure out a way to keep him from being arrested. If that happens, he'll probably lose his job."

Flack nodded. "If Lindsay holds what happened against him, I don't think he'll care about the job."

They sat there quietly after that, nothing more needing to be said. Mac wasn't sure how much time passed before a nurse stepped inside. "Detective Taylor, Dr. Terry sent me to get you. Detective Monroe is waking up."


	3. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Here's chapter 2. Hope you continue to enjoy. I have to work a basketball tournament tomorrow at school so don't expect another update until maybe late Sunday.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 2

Consciousness returned to Lindsay one annoying drop at a time just like when she forgot to double check the tap on the bathroom faucet before she went to bed. The first thing she was aware of was voices loud enough to be heard but yet too low to make out any actual words. Her brain was still too cottony to piece together whether she even knew these voices or not. The next was the smell of antiseptic and it was enough to make her want to vomit. It was that same smell she associated with dentists and doctors and she hated it with a passion she'd never been able to put in words. Her eyes began to flutter open but bright lights made them shut just as quickly as they opened. This was okay; if she was where the smells suggested she was, she didn't particularly care to see her surroundings. Pain was her final confrontation with the return to consciousness. Wave after wave of aching and throbbing misery that threatened to upend her stomach contents faster than the smell of antiseptic had.

She couldn't stop the moan that crossed her lips and there was an immediate reaction. The voices over her body that were speaking words she couldn't make out changed tone and volume. A hand that she supposed was comforting gave her arm a gentle pat being careful not to jar any of her injuries. A deep male voice that she definitely didn't recognize offered verbal reassurances and then a caution to remain completely still.

Fear of not knowing exactly what was happening filled Lindsay's soul and at the admonishment to keep still, her body did the absolute opposite. She tried to pitch to one side to get away from the unknown voice, just in case it meant harm instead of the reassurances it offered. Firm but gentle hands tried to hold her in place and as much as she wanted to fight against them, Lindsay discovered she was still too weak to do anything other than cause herself more pain. So instead, she tried to pay close attention to what the voices were saying.

"Go get Detective Taylor. He's still in Curtain 4. Detective Monroe, you are safe. I'm Dr. Terry, attending ER physician at Trinity Hospital. I need you to be still. I'm putting in a few stitches to the gash on your face so it will minimize scarring. If you continue to move around, it's going to make it that much harder to treat your wound. I only have a couple of more stitches and I'm through. Are you okay with that?"

"Yes." In contrast to his deep rich voice, Lindsay's was barely a whisper but it was all the reassurance that the doctor needed. A second later, she felt the familiar tug of the needle being pulled and was thankful the numbing agent the doctor must have given her while she was still unconscious was working so well. As promised, less than a moment later, the drape that had covered the area around the wound was removed and she risked opening her eyes once again. It was only then that she realized that only one eye seemed to be open and the other appeared to have quit responding to her brain's commands. But at least time the lights didn't seem quite so bright and she could keep the one eye open. "How bad?"

Just the three words she'd uttered had sent fresh waves of pain coursing through her and she knew it wasn't just a simple cut the doctor had been stitching up. She wanted to sit up and take inventory of the damage but wasn't sure her body was up to such a movement. Instead she waited to hear him catalogue her injuries for her. "Nothing as bad as I initially feared when you were brought in. Hairline fractures to the cheekbone, right radius, and three ribs; not to mention massive bruises. Considering I thought we'd be dealing with major breaks, I'd say you are one lucky young woman. Not that that will prevent the pain from being any less unfortunately."

Before the doctor could continue Mac Taylor stepped into the cubicle and Lindsay tuned the doctor out. Forgetting her fear of pain, she struggled to sit up but the doctor immediately pressed her gently but firmly back down. Then he raised the bed so that she could sit up properly without straining any of her bruised and sore muscles.

"Mac, Danny didn't do this." Her declaration was simple but it was clear to everyone in the room how painful those few words had been for her as her talking manipulated the injured cheek bone.

Mac pulled a stool close to the bed so he could sit next to her without her straining to talk to him. So much had happened since that phone call from Flack that he thought he was through being shocked by declarations but hers still managed to surprise him. He sighed. "Lindsay, about two dozen eyewitnesses including five officers tell a different story. They all agree it was Danny who hurt you."

Tears filled her eyes but didn't spill over. She shook her head groaning with pain as she did so. The doctor shot them both a concerned glare. "Detectives, I don't think it's good for Detective Monroe to be talking so much after just waking up. But I've patched up enough officers to know I'd have better luck talking to that wall over there, so at least let me give you something for pain before it gets out of control."

If he had expected an argument, then he was pleasantly surprised that she didn't protest but seemed to almost welcome the offer. As soon as he left to retrieve the painkiller, Lindsay reached out with her left hand and gripped Mac's arm, her strength surprising considering her condition. "It may have been Danny's fists but it wasn't him. I looked him dead in the eyes after the first punch and I didn't recognize the man looking at me. I don't understand what happened but he wasn't himself from the moment he first hit me. Please don't punish him."

He made sure he had her full attention. He appreciated the painful cost such a lengthy speech had cost her, but he had to be truthful. "Lindsay, you know this job; we need irrefutable evidence to back up your statement. We're doing everything we can to prove exactly what happened. I do know that Danny's going to appreciate your vote of confidence more than anything though. Did you notice anything out of the ordinary before the attack?"

She seemed to shudder at the word attack but then shook her head. "No, it was just lunch. One second everything was fine and then the next it was horribly wrong."

Her lower lip quivered and Mac could tell she was struggling not to cry. It wasn't an emotion he was used to seeing in the young woman from Montana. She always seemed so self-assured and in control that seeing her struggle to maintain a semblance of control now bothered him as much as her injuries. He couldn't even be sure if her near tears were a result of the pain she was experiencing or the memory of what she'd endured. He hated to press her further but knew he had to.

"What about the older bruises on your shoulder and arm? How did that happen?"

For a moment Lindsay didn't respond but looked embarrassed. "You saw them?"

Mac nodded. "Stella discovered them when she was documenting your injuries. Lindsay, did Danny-"

"No! God, no." Lindsay shook her head and then groaned at the pain. "It's not what you think. I was just stupid and not paying attention and ran into something."

Mac knew she was lying or at the very least not telling the whole truth. The hand print ring had to have been caused by someone else and they both knew that. Still he could see she would shut down on him if he pressed her for the truth. He could let the matter drop for now; there would be time for insisting on the whole story later.

Dr. Terry returned and injected the contents of a syringe into Lindsay's IV. He studied her carefully trying to get an idea of her condition both physically and mentally. She appeared to be weepy and a little emotional. It wasn't unusual for an assault victim to be much more overly emotional but even at that, he could tell by Mac's expression that even this small show of tears was more than he was used to from the young woman.

"I'm afraid there's not much I can do for the hairline fractures in your cheek and ribs. Time will heal them without any intervention from me. Your wrist however I want to brace to prevent further injury. I won't lie to you; casting or bracing is going to hurt worse than usual with the bruising you're going to have on that arm. Padding the brace will help but won't eliminate all the pain. Still the discomfort is better than risking you further breaking your arm by moving it the wrong way as it heals."

"Can I go home?" Lindsay asked quietly. Even though her cheek bone didn't really move when she talked, the swelling on that side of her face throbbed with more pain every time she tried to speak.

The doctor sighed but wasn't really surprised by the question. After all, who really wanted to spend time in a hospital anyway? "I want to keep you a couple more hours at least to monitor your pain level but I don't see much reason to admit you so long as there is someone who'll keep an eye on you for the next couple of days. You going to be in major pain and will need strong painkillers to dull that pain. You don't need to be alone while on that heavy of medication. Do you have a roommate?"

Her face fell with the realization that a truthful admission would probably mean he wouldn't release her. It crossed Lindsay's mind to lie but instead she shook her head. Mac knew she lived alone and would probably rat her out anyway if she'd tried to lie. Mac squeezed her hand. He offered a solution to both Lindsay and the doctor. "I have a spare bedroom. She can stay with me for a few days until she's back on her feet."

"Thanks, Mac." A couple of tears slipped down Lindsay's cheeks and she winced as the saltiness of the tear stung the stitched up cut on her cheek. Her eyes were getting heavy even though she'd only just regained consciousness. She blinked, the one swollen lid barely moved as she tried to force both of them to stay open. Dr. Terry noticed.

"Don't fight the sleep. I know you just woke up but the painkiller I gave you was a pretty strong one; it'll make you drowsy. Rest is the best medicine I can recommend. You're stuck here for a couple of hours anyway; sleep will help the time pass faster."

"Don't want to sleep." Lindsay muttered, already half asleep despite her protests. "Want to help Danny." Then her eyes lost their fight and sleep overtook her. The doctor smiled.

"I'll have a nurse come in later and put a bandage over those stitches and put the brace on her arm."

Mac nodded his thanks and then motioned for the doctor to join him away from Lindsay's bed. It wasn't that he didn't want her to overhear but he didn't want to disturb the young woman's sleep. "How long are you expecting to keep Danny?"

Dr. Terry frowned. "When both your officers were brought in, I would have sworn that I'd be admitting Detective Monroe and releasing Detective Messer probably before the tox results came back. However, I don't care if you have a mansion of spare bedrooms; I'm not releasing him until his blood pressure comes down and stays down."

"Good." Mac could tell he had surprised the doctor. "I was going to ask that you keep him as long as you can. Maybe even a couple of days."

"I'm hoping his blood pressure comes down much quicker than that. It's dangerous for it to stay elevated much longer. If you want him to remain for a couple of days, I'd recommend letting me call in a psych consult. Based on what I've heard and seen I think he's proven to be both a danger to himself and others to warrant a 72 hours psych hold but I'll need our on call psychiatrist to make that determination. I wanted to suggest it but figured it would go over like a 2-ton lead balloon."

Mac nodded. It cut him to the soul to agree but it really was for the best. "Do it. "

Dr. Terry nodded. "I think Dr. Peterson is on call today. This is his specialty. I'll give him a call."

After the doctor left, Mac returned to the stool. He was surprised to see that Lindsay's good eye was open and staring at him accusingly. "Danny's not going to like the idea of a psych hold."

"Probably not." Mac agreed, upset that his attempts not to wake her up had been in vain. "But he'd like the alternative even less. As soon as he's released from the hospital, he'll be arrested on assault charges."

If possible, Lindsay paled making her injures stand out even more prominently. "But I'm not going to press charges."

Mac rubbed his eyes, wishing for a moment he could ask Dr. Terry to give him something to help his own blood pressure and the headache that was forming in his temples. "I'm going to assume the medication and your injuries have you not thinking clearly. You know as well as I do with the new domestic violence laws, assault arrests can be made with or without the victim's cooperation."

He felt bad seeing her wince at the word victim almost as if she'd been hit once more. It was just as hard for him to think of her as a victim as it was for her to hear it. Her lower lip trembled even more. "I don't want Danny in trouble because of me."

Seeing a box of tissue on the night stand, Mac pulled one out and carefully wiped away the tears threatening to spill over her red-rimmed eyes. "He's not in trouble because of you. He's in trouble because of his actions. I hope to hell that there's a reasonable explanation for all this but I need time to prove it. I can defend his job against a psych hold especially if there's a justifiable reason for your current physical condition but I'd have a harder time doing so against an assault arrest on his jacket."

She started to cross both arms across her chest but groaned in pain at the first movement and instead relented to being completely still so as not to cause herself further pain. "Mac, you've known Danny longer than I have. I thought you were his friend. How can you doubt him?"

"I have known Danny for many years now and I do count him as a friend but that doesn't change the job I have to do. The evidence, not our personal feelings, dictates the course of the investigation. We're scientists, Lindsay; you know that. I had to do it when the evidence suggested he might have been involved with the death of that murder victim we discovered at Giants stadium. My heart agrees with you that Danny just isn't capable of the kind of violence it takes to cause your injuries. But my head can't forget seeing you lying on that stretcher outside the diner and it taking me a minute to even recognize it was actually you. It can't deny the evidence that is staring back at me right now. I want to believe the best in Danny but I need an explanation as to what would cause him to snap like that. Maybe that makes me seem like a traitor but it's the only way I can be completely fair to you, Danny, and the integrity of the lab in general."

His cell phone chirped and he was surprised that it hadn't gone off at least a dozen times all ready. He apologized to Lindsay and stepped to the hallway to take the call. It was of course Sinclair demanding that Mac return to the lab and answer questions about what had happened. Mac wanted to protest that he was still needed at the hospital but knew it would do no good. Perhaps if he answered Sinclair's questions, he could further protect Danny's job. He promised Sinclair that he'd be there in thirty minutes and hung up the phone. He returned to Lindsay. "I have to go before Sinclair blows a gasket. I'll be back before the doctor is ready to release you. Do you have clothes at the lab that I can bring back for you?"

Lindsay nodded once, grateful that Mac had considered her need for something to wear when released. "Just bring me the gym bag out my locker. You've got the master code to unlock it. It'll have everything I'll need right away. Then maybe we can stop at my apartment for anything else."

Mac promised and then leaned down and pressed a kiss above her left eye. "Do what the doctor tells you to do. Get some rest. Flack is down the hall with Danny. I'll tell him to check in on you in a little while."

"Can I see him?" Lindsay's voice was almost slurring as sleep was just about to overtake her once again. Mac knew the him she meant but decided to play dumb. "Sure, you'll see Flack when he comes to check on you. Until then, stay in bed and get some sleep. That's an order."

If he'd hoped she'd fall asleep before she could protest, he was disappointed. She frowned, but only the left half of her mouth turned downward. The other side was too swollen to move much. "Not Flack; Danny. I need him to know I don't blame him.'

It hadn't escaped his notice that she seemed more concerned about Danny than her own condition. In his years as an officer, he'd worked just about every kind of call possible. The hardest for him outside of crimes against children was interviewing women who had been abused. Too often they blamed themselves or put their abusers feelings ahead of their own. Somehow, hearing it from Lindsay was even worse. "There'll be time for that later. Right now, your health is more important. I mean it, Lindsay. Follow the doctor's orders to the letter or I'll have you on dumpster diving duty until the next millennium. Understand?"

"Promise." Her eyes were once more closed and he hoped that this time she'd sleep for longer.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Lindsay's mother had always sworn that even from the womb Lindsay had been a restless sleeper. She simply wasn't capable of lying completely still. Even in a deep sleep, she was constantly changing positions, tossing and turning the way other people do when having trouble sleeping. For her it was simply her normal sleeping routine. Which was possibly why she was currently finding sleep, despite the heavy medication, so difficult. Succumbing to the heavy fatigue that kept pulling her into dreamland was easy and following the doctor's orders to rest wasn't a problem until she tried to change position. Then a fresh wave of pain washed over her that was greater than the sedative aspects of the painkiller and she was roughly pulled from sleep.

Waking for what seemed to be the hundredth time since Mac had left, Lindsay wasn't surprised to see that she was no longer alone. It seemed like every time she woke up some new medical person was there to check on her or to do something else. One time, a nurse had been set to apologize for waking her to put the padded brace on her wrist and to bandage her cheek. The last time she'd woken up, a different nurse had given her another shot for pain. This time, a man she didn't recognize but whose white coat labeled him as a doctor was sitting on the stool next to the bed making notes in a file. He looked up when she groaned slightly and smiled.

"Who are you?" Her tone was probably more accusatory than she really meant it to be but she blamed it on a combination of the pain and lack of being able to sleep.

"I'm Dr. Peterson. Dr. Terry asked me to consult on Detective Messer's case."

Lindsay fumbled with the controls on the bed to raise the bed slightly higher. "Is Danny okay?"

"I heard you groaning when you woke up. Do you need something else for pain? Your injuries look quite painful." The psychiatrist looked genuinely concerned despite the fact that he had ignored her question about Danny.

"No, I'm fine. They pretty much just gave me something. It just hurts when I move. How is Danny?" Perhaps he hadn't heard her ask the first time.

"I understand that you and Detective Messer work together. I have to figure out if he is a danger to himself or others or if his attack on you today was an isolated incident. It would help me to get your insight on what happened at the diner." As he sat there talking to her, he was almost constantly clicking his pen open and shut. The sound grated on her nerves.

It was also grating on her nerves that he had once again ignored her question. "Danny isn't a danger to anyone. He wasn't responsible for what happened. Now, please, I heard Dr. Terry tell Mac earlier that he was concerned about Danny. Is he okay?"

"Then how do you explain his unprovoked attack on you today? I've seen many victims of assault and it takes an unprecedented amount of viciousness to cause the kind of injuries you sustained."

Once again, Lindsay reached for the controls on the bed, raising it until it wouldn't go any further. Pushing aside the blanket she'd been covered with, Lindsay gritted her teeth as she started to swing her legs over the side of the bed.

Instantly alarmed, the doctor rose to stop her. "Detective Monroe, I don't think you are ready to get out of bed just yet. Where are you going?"

"To check on Danny. I've asked you three times about him and you've ignored my questions all three times. That tells me that either you are such an arrogant jerk that doesn't think my concerns are important or you are trying to avoid giving me bad news. Therefore, I'm going to find out myself how he is."

The doctor was instantly contrite. "Please, stay in bed. I'm sorry I upset you; it wasn't my intention. Detective Messer is going to be just fine. Physically, he's going to be just fine. knuckles . Emotionally, that's up to him. When I talked to him, it was easy to see he was pretty agitated. From what Dr. Terry told me when he called me down, Detective Messer's blood pressure is higher than what he'd like and he's trying to treat that. Figuring out what happened will probably help that. Are you willing to help me do that?"

She gave him his answer by readjusting the blanket over her legs and lowering the bed just slightly. He smiled. "Thank you. How about you start by telling me a little about your relationship with Detective Messer."

"We're partners at work and we're friends both at work and off duty."

He made a few notes in his chart. "Just friends? Or are the two of you friends with benefits?"

Lindsay rolled her eyes; the desired effect diminished by the fact that the doctor could only see the movement of one of her eyes. Was he really going to try to turn this into a lover's spat gone violent? And really, how did she explain the complicated relationship she had with Danny. She knew he was attracted to her. That attraction hadn't gone away just because she'd insisted that she wasn't in a place to pursue a romantic relationship with him or anyone at the moment. And if she were honest with herself she was attracted to him. If things weren't so horribly complicated with her past raising its ugly head just as her life was finally starting to be what she wanted it to be she'd be more than willing on risking her heart to the Staten Island native. She knew she'd hurt him terribly when she'd stood him up for what would have been their first date. It had been all the worse because she couldn't bring herself to tell him the whole truth about the night she was supposed to meet him. But even though he'd been hurt, she knew he'd never hurt her because of it. Instead, he'd put aside the hurt he'd felt to reach out to her in a moment he'd instinctively known she was in a bad place. "Good friends; that's all. We trust each other to have the other's back. I keep him safe and he does the same for me."

"From what I read about what happened at the diner, you kept up your end of that bargain today. Too bad Detective Messer didn't do the same."

"Go to hell." Lindsay's voice was steely and even.

Once again, Dr. Peterson offered words of contrition. "I'm sorry. I didn't meant to step on a nerve. I'm just trying to get a good perspective of all this. The brief amount of time I spent with Detective Messer earlier left me with the distinct impression that he wasn't happy I'd been called in to consult on his case."

_I can't imagine why he'd feel that way._ It was on the tip of her tongue to mutter the thought that came so easily to mind but Lindsay stayed silent. Like it or not, Dr. Peterson could be all that stood between Danny and a jail cell. Danny, and it appeared she as well, would have to suffer through his questions to get the psych hold.

Dr. Peterson continued. "Do you have any idea what caused him to attack you the way he did?"

"If I did, you wouldn't be needed." This time, Lindsay couldn't catch the retort before it left her mouth. She took a deep breath, wincing as the move caused her ribs to twinge. She blinked sleepily. "Danny didn't act of his own volition. He's not capable of the violence he demonstrated today. I don't know if he was drugged or what happened but I know he wouldn't have willingly laid a hand on me or anyone else."

"Because he's one of the good guys?" Dr. Peterson countered. "You don't think it's possible for a good man to do evil acts?"

"I'm a crime scene investigator. I've arrested people whose neighbors and loved ones insisted weren't capable of committing the crimes we accuse them of. I'm not naïve; but I do know what I saw. Something changed in Danny as he suddenly turned violent. He was a different person. That kind of abrupt change doesn't happen without reason."

Dr. Peterson made a notation on his chart and then fixed her in a steady gaze. "And you believe that reason was out of his control."

"No doubt in my mind." Lindsay's return gaze was just as steady.

"You seem to have more faith in him than he has in himself. He's down the hall beating himself up mentally just as severely as he beat you. He's drowning in a sea of guilt that you don't seem to think he should be swimming in."

Lindsay wasn't surprised. She'd seen how guilty he'd felt after his brother had been beaten up trying to obtain proof that Danny hadn't been involved in the death of the guy they'd discovered buried at Giants stadium. He'd blamed himself for his brother's injuries and he hadn't been there when it happened. Regardless of the reasons, it had been his hands that had inflicted the injuries that were making themselves painfully known. How much worse would his guilt be from this? It wasn't the kind of thing he was going to get over easily. "The fact that he does feel guilty should tell you more about his character than anything I could say about him."

Rising from the stool, Dr. Peterson crossed to a cabinet and pulled another hospital gown. He handed it to Lindsay. She took it, looking from the material to the psychiatrist. "What's this for?"

"Use it like a robe. I don't much figure you want to flash the entire emergency department when you go down the hall to see Detective Messer."

Lindsay had all but begged Mac earlier to let her see Danny and he'd put her off. Before he left he'd threatened her with dumpster duty if she didn't follow doctor's orders. "You're going to let me see Danny?"

Dr. Peterson nodded. "Consider it my way of apologizing for worrying you earlier."

She didn't trust him. She had a feeling his reasons had less to do with making up for his earlier behavior and more to do with psychoanalyzing Danny's reaction to her presence. Whatever his reasons, she wasn't about to miss out on this chance to get what she wanted without disobeying Mac's orders. She let the doctor help her with the second gown.

Once she was properly covered, Dr. Peterson left the curtained area to procure a wheelchair. Moving from the bed to the wheelchair hurt but Lindsay tried not to let it show just how much. Dr. Peterson pushed her down the hall to the cubicle that held Danny.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"For the last time, no." Flack practically growled at his best friend.

Danny slammed his head back against the stretcher in frustration. Once he'd awakened from the medicated sleep the sedative had all but forced upon him, he'd given up trying to break free of the straps holding him to the stretcher. He'd realized it was futile to even try and that he was only hurting himself in the attempt. Of course, if what they had told him was true, he deserved any amount of pain he caused himself.

"What's the big deal? I heard Mac tell you to keep an eye on her. So go keep an eye on her. It's not like I'm going to be able to go anywhere while you're gone. Check to see how she's doing; make sure she's okay."

"Danny, Mac also said she was asleep and that that's what the doctor wanted her to do. I'm not gonna risk going in there and waking her up just to ease your conscience. Monroe's been through enough."

Danny looked down at his hands. He'd been in more than his fair share of fights in his life but he'd never raised his hand to a woman. It's not something he thought he was capable of doing to any woman, least of all Montana. He wanted to curse, shout, and maybe even throw things until they told him it was all a mistake and that his Montana hadn't been beaten by anyone but especially not by him. However, he couldn't deny the truth his split knuckles told. He'd been in a fight and considering he had no injuries other than his busted hands, he'd been the victor. It just didn't make sense. He'd always held nothing but contempt for cowards who felt like they had to control women by beating them into submission. He wouldn't be that person and he was pretty confident Lindsay Monroe wasn't the type of woman who would give any man that opportunity. He closed his eyes, wishing he could just tear off the wires that ran from the pads on his chest to the machine and put an end to the incessant beeping that was driving him crazy.

"You saw her though, right? Earlier?"

Flack nodded even though Danny couldn't see him with his eyes closed. "Yeah, I saw her at the diner. You heard Mac; the doctor said her injuries weren't as bad as he initially thought. She's going to be fine, Danny. They aren't even going to admit her to the hospital."

Danny opened his eyes but couldn't look at his friend. "She shouldn't have been here in the first place. Stella was right earlier. I promised her that I wouldn't hurt Montana but I did. I promised Lindsay that I'd be her friend and help her through whatever the hell she's going through and instead I beat the shit out of her. I don't even remember any of it. Mac was asking me earlier what I remember. I've tried and I've tried but I can't. We were arguing about something; not real fighting but jokingly; you know? I just can't remember about what."

"Which is the better pizza, Chicago or New York style."

Both men looked toward the opening of the cubicle where Lindsay sat in her wheelchair being pushed in by Dr. Peterson. Danny drank in her appearance, making mental notice of each and every bruise. Danny's stomach turned at the viciousness of her injuries. "Shit, Montana. What have I done?"


	4. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: I know the last chapter ended with the tease of a reunion of Danny and Lindsay and you'll get a little of that toward the end of the chapter. But the bulk of this chapter is going to be the reactions of the other members of the team. This obviously affects them all.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. I always look forward to reading your thoughts about each chapter. I hope you continue to like where I take the story.

I just read that today is Eddie Cahill's birthday, so happy birthday Flack!

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 3

"Damn." Sheldon wanted to ball up the printout he was reading and lob it like a basketball into the trashcan. He didn't because it was an official part of the evidence but its potentially damning information only added to his frustration.

Stella looked up from Lindsay's blood splattered shirt that she'd been processing at her coworker's mild curse. Inwardly she was still seething about what had happened to her friend but she was trying hard to keep it in control. Mac had made it clear that he'd pull her off the investigation if she didn't and she felt she owed it to Lindsay to get to the truth. "What is it?"

"I've analyzed everything on Danny's plate from Eduardo's. I can probably tell you secret ingredients that Eddie never wanted revealed but there was no trace of any kind of drugs in any of it. If Danny was drugged, it didn't come from the food." He glanced at his watch. "I'm surprised we haven't gotten the tox report from the hospital. If we knew what he'd been drugged with, finding the how he'd been drugged might be easier."

Stella snapped a photograph of the outline of a boot print on the front of Lindsay's shirt. A boot print she knew without having to compare it would match the boot print she'd photographed on Lindsay's arm. "Mac asked the doctor to hold on to the report until he returned to the hospital. He didn't want to take any chances of Sinclair or IAB getting their hands on the information before we had a chance to analyze it. I know none of us wants to believe Danny could snap like he did all on his own but how likely is it that he was drugged? Someone would have to know their schedules really well to pull off such an attack and let's face it, none of us have schedules regular enough for someone to figure out a pattern. Nothing could have happened here in the lab before they left and if his food wasn't drugged that only leaves the walk from here to the diner. Not much time or opportunity to drug him without his or Lindsay's knowledge."

Hawkes shook his head. "Just because we haven't figured it out yet doesn't mean there's not an explanation. There has to be one because there is no way Danny would hurt Lindsay. I know we'll find it; I just hope it's in time. I don't think I've ever seen Sinclair so upset."

"The media has already ran with the story. They couldn't release names of course but there were enough witnesses at the diner to report that a NYPD officer viciously attacked another NYPD officer. That doesn't paint a good light on the department and we all know Sinclair doesn't like bad press. This affects more than just Danny and Lindsay; it affects us all. I don't know how Danny is going to avoid paying the consequences for what happened today."

Frowning, Hawkes set aside the paperwork. He had been shocked, as he assumed everyone had been, when Mac had called and told him about the attack at the diner. He'd seen the same look of disbelief on Flack's face when he'd arrived at the diner and the detective had filled in on the details Mac hadn't had time to give him in his phone call. Everyone, outside of Sinclair and IAB, wanted to find the truth, believing that there had to be more to the truth than what the evidence was currently suggesting. Everyone that is except Stella who seemed ready to convict Danny right then and there. He couldn't understand it. Danny was almost like a younger brother to Stella. He'd figured that Stella would be leading the charge to exonerate him. "Danny's not a bad guy here, Stella. We know he's not capable of this."

For a long moment, Stella didn't answer as she bagged the shirt. Then she stared down at the table, unable to meet Sheldon's eyes. "Sometimes the people we thought we know the best change. He wouldn't be the first person to make a complete Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde personality change."

Suddenly Hawkes understood. Stella wasn't looking at this as Danny attacking Lindsay; she was reliving what had happened to her a year ago with Frankie. She knew what it felt like to have someone you trusted completely suddenly turn violent. But still, Danny wasn't Frankie. But he also knew arguing with her about it wouldn't be productive to the situation. Instead, he switched to the other topic that had been bothering him. "I don't get Lindsay though. From what the witnesses said, she let him beat her without putting up a fight or letting anyone help her. What was she thinking?"

Stella's eyes flashed as she turned her head to glare at him. "Are you seriously going to stand there and blame Lindsay for being attacked? Blame the victim?"

"No!" Hawkes immediately defended himself. "I'm just saying that Lindsay's a strong person capable of defending herself. She's not the victim type. You yourself said she had no defensive wounds. If someone is beating you senseless, the natural instinct is to defend yourself. Lindsay didn't do that. That doesn't sound like Lindsay any more than it sounds like Danny for hitting her in the first place."

Stella frowned. He had a point, one that had been bothering her since she'd seen Lindsay's wounds, especially the old bruises. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm running her food for traces of drugs as well. Maybe she wasn't able to defend herself." Before he could continue, they both saw the blur of someone running past the lab toward the men's restroom. Sheldon frowned. He'd recognized the person but couldn't understand what was going on.

"Was that Adam?" Stella pointed toward the hallway.

Hawkes nodded. The young lab tech had been in the AV lab watching the video from Eduardo's to see if he could see anybody messing with Danny and Lindsay before the attack. Apparently Adam had seen more than he could handle. "I'll check on him."

He made his way to the men's restroom and let himself in quietly. He could hear Adam inside one of the stalls retching. He didn't say anything but went to the sink to wet some paper towels. He waited until Adam flushed the toilet and stepped out. The young man seemed shaky so Sheldon took his arm and led him to the wall where they both sank to the floor. He offered the wet towels to Adam who accepted them gratefully. The tech looked embarrassed as he covered his whole face with the damp paper.

"That bad?" Hawkes probed gently.

Adam just nodded. "I thought I could handle it. I told myself not to focus on the attack itself but everything else that was going on. I was going to watch the bystander's reactions to see if anyone seemed suspicious. Then Danny punched Lindsay for the first time and all my intentions went out the window. I heard what happened and I didn't believe it. Now I've seen it and I still don't believe it. Danny didn't even look human as he just hit and kicked Lindsay over and over again. He's supposed to care about her and he was using her like she was nothing more than a punching bag."

Sheldon had never seen this side of Adam before. Usually the quirky young lab tech was so carefree and affable that it was a little scary seeing him so shaken. He could understand it though in a way. How did you watch a friend being hurt the way Lindsay had and not be affected by it? He hoped to reassure the other man. "Adam, I talked to Mac earlier. Lindsay's injuries weren't as bad as the doctor first thought. She's going to make a full recovery."

Adam shook his head. "Sure, bones will mend and bruises will fade. Why is it that people think just because the visible injuries get better that everything is okay? It's so far from okay that it's ridiculous. I don't care what reason Danny had, whether he was drugged, hypnotized, drunk or just had a temporary disconnect with reality, it doesn't change the fact that he's proven that he's capable of hurting someone he cares about. If he did it once, who's to say he won't do it again. How does Lindsay continue to work with him or trust him?"

Sheldon didn't know much about Adam's personal life. The lab tech never really talked much about it but Hawkes couldn't help but wonder if Adam had a personal experience with abuse. It certainly sounded like he was speaking from his own knowledge. Adam might have questioned how Lindsay would trust Danny again but Sheldon had a feeling the lab tech was wondering how he himself would be able to trust Danny again. Stella had been right, this situation wasn't just about Danny and Lindsay; it really was affecting them all. "Adam, we don't know the full story yet. You might have seen what happened on that video but that's only part of the story. I don't know if even Danny and Lindsay know the full story. I'm not going to lie to you; this nightmare didn't end at the diner. It only began there and both Lindsay AND Danny are going to need our support."

Adam didn't respond. He counted the people he worked with as not only friends but family; he believed just about everyone felt the same way. No one at the lab knew how hard it had been for him to trust the people he worked with enough to let them get that close. He'd learned at an early age at the hand of his father the danger of letting anyone in close enough to hurt you. But despite that he'd overcome that natural reticence in order to trust his teammates with his life and happiness if not his secrets. It was killing him now to think that Lindsay was experiencing the same pain he'd thought he'd left behind. Would she now have the same issues with trust that he'd suffered with all of his life?

His mind kept rewinding that video and replaying it over and over again. Only the images kept changing. At first it was just as he'd seen it but then the participants kept changing in his mind so that the role of the attacker switched from being either Danny or Adam's father. Sometimes Lindsay remained the victim and other times it was Adam himself. Bile once more rose up into his throat and he pushed back off the wall rushing into the stall once more.

Sheldon sighed as he listened to his friend once more vomiting in the stall. He was beginning to wonder if anything would ever be the same.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Taylor, my phone hasn't stopped ringing. People hear about what happened at Eduardo's and they are outraged. They hear that such violence came at the hands of one of New York's finest and they want someone's head served to them on a silver platter." Sinclair stood opposite Mac's desk his arms folded over his chest. "They'll take mine if I don't provide them with Messer's. I'll give them yours before I let them have mine."

Mac sat on the edge of his desk. He should still be at the hospital getting Lindsay's version of what happened and getting the results of the tox screen from Dr. Terry. He never liked to rush to judgment or get ahead of the evidence but he knew that time was a luxury none of them hand in this situation. Instead of figuring out exactly what had transpired before during and after the attack at the diner, he was sitting here defending his friend and employee to his supervisor without knowing any of the truth. It was not a pleasant feeling for him.

"Brigham, you know I don't kow tow to public opinion on any investigation least of all when it involves my own people. I know how bad this looks but I also know that Danny Messer wouldn't willingly do what he's being accused of."

Sinclair shook his head. "Seems like the name Danny Messer keeps coming across my desk in one screw up after another. How many IAB investigations can one officer go through? He shoots wild in a subway and an officer ends up dead."

"He was cleared in that investigation; there was no way his shot was responsible for Minhas's death."

"His DNA was found at the scene of a fifteen year old murder victim." Sinclair continued as if Mac hadn't said anything.

"He was exonerated in that case as well. The cigarette was dropped by Danny's brother and other Tanglewood boys. I don't even know why you are bringing these cases up; they have no bearing in what happened today."

"Danny Messer is a screw up Taylor; he's a maverick that has escaped unscathed by the skin of his teeth and because others have put their necks on the line to help him out. I don't see how he's going to be so lucky this time. Perhaps Detective Monroe wouldn't have been injured today if the outcome of those earlier cases had been different. I suppose though that he has some sort of elaborate excuse as to why he shouldn't pay for his actions."

Mac wanted to defend Danny but knew the best way to do that would be to find out the truth. "Danny doesn't remember anything that happened at the diner. I was just beginning to get the story from Lindsay when you ordered me back here. She, however, believes that Danny wasn't in control at the moment of the attack. We're just waiting on the evidence that will confirm or deny that."

Sinclair began to pace back and forth in the office, clearly agitated by everything that was going on. "What was she thinking anyway? I read the report of the first officers on scene. They said she deliberately stepped in front of the taser shot; it's not like Messer pulled her in front of the shot to avoid capture. She did that on her own. I have half a mind to charge her with obstruction of justice."

Mac's eyes narrowed. He was concerned by Lindsay's behavior as well but surely Sinclair wasn't serious about charging her. Hadn't she suffered enough? "With all due respect, I think that's a little overkill."

"With all due respect, Taylor, I can't afford the public backlash of an officer who does not follow protocol and Detective Monroe didn't today. You get to the bottom of it and sanction her or I will charge her. Now, can you explain to me why Detective Messer's release from the hospital has been delayed? I was told he was uninjured other than the taser blasts. We both know that he should have been released right away."

"The ER doctor is worried about Danny's blood pressure. It's been elevated since he was brought in. Plus, he's called in a psychiatrist about putting Danny on a 72 hour psych hold to determine if Danny is a danger to himself and others."

"Damnit, Taylor, this is your doing isn't it? Maybe I should charge you with obstruction of justice. Get to the bottom of this. I expect answers on my desk as soon as possible and I better like those answers."

Without another word, Sinclair turned and strode angrily out of the office. Mac took his departure to mean that he could once again return to the hospital to check on both Lindsay and Danny. He'd been gone longer than he would have liked anyway. It wasn't that he didn't trust Flack to handle things at the hospital in his absence but Lindsay seemed to be the only one who really knew what had happened in the diner. After his conversation with Sinclair, it was obvious they didn't have much time.

Stella stepped into his office, closing the door firmly behind her. "I take it that was as painful as I imagined it would be."

Mac nodded, his expression grim. "More. Has the evidence told us anything more?"

She shook her head. "I'm afraid not. The food was clean; we really need the tox reports from the hospital."

"I'm heading there as soon as I get a few things from Lindsay's locker. The doctor doesn't want her staying alone so I've offered her my spare room for a day or so."

"She could stay with me." Stella offered. "She might feel more comfortable staying with another female."

Mac rose from his desk and Stella followed him down the hallway toward the locker room. "I appreciate your concern but you don't exactly have a spare bedroom at your apartment. Besides, I'm not just letting Lindsay stay with me to satisfy the doctor's concerns. I'm hoping to get her to open up to me and tell me about those other bruises and why she didn't fight back. Sinclair isn't just gunning for Danny in all this and I need answers if I'm going to help either one of them. You can handle things here at the lab, right?"

Stella nodded. "Count on it."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Danny stared at Lindsay, his expression twisting from horrified to guilty to disgusted and then back again. They had told him what he'd done and he'd seen his knuckles and knew they had told him the truth but nothing could have prepared him for coming face to face with the reality of his actions. He thought back to the case a few weeks ago when she'd risked her life pretending to be one of the diamond thieves in order to rescue the other thief being held hostage. Thought back to the way his stomach had twisted with fear when her cover had been blown and he'd realized the danger she'd been in. He'd been skating around his feelings for Lindsay since the day he'd met the Montanan replacement Mac had hired but couldn't deny that he'd fallen hard for one Lindsay Monroe. The smoke had been thick in the hotel room when he had burst in looking for her and it had been difficult to find her at first. When she'd called his name and he'd taken her shaky body into his comforting arms, it had felt so perfect that he'd known he had to risk his heart.

Then she had stood him up the first time he'd worked up the nerve to ask her out on a date. He hadn't really bought the whole "it's me not you" excuse she'd given him but he'd seen the pain in her eyes and he'd felt his heart break just a little. Not so much for himself but for the knowledge that something beyond his control was causing her pain and he was helpless to do anything about it. As much as he wanted to pursue a relationship with her, he cared too much about her to cause her more pain. He wanted her to be happy even if that meant they could only be friends.

Now what had he done? He had no memory of raising his fists against her but the bruises that were standing out so prominently didn't lie. He thought back to the night in a different hospital room when Lindsay had shown up as he sat by his brother's bedside, unsure as to whether or not his brother would live or die. He'd been wracked with guilt seeing his brother so beaten and helpless and that guilt had only increased when Lindsay had played for him the tape that Louie had made of Sonny Sassone exonerating him any guilt in a fifteen year old murder. His brother had risked his life to save his; that was a guilt that one didn't get over easy. Still, Lindsay had been there for him that night and in the days that followed. She'd done everything to assure that he wasn't to blame for his brother's condition and that as his older brother, Louie would have risked much more to protect him. That guilt he'd felt in the aftermath of Louie's injury was nothing compared to what he was currently feeling looking at the bruises that marred Lindsay's beautiful face.

He hated himself more than he'd ever thought possible. Regardless of the cause of his sudden vicious attack against the woman he was sure he loved, it would never be reason enough to justify the results he was currently seeing. He closed his eyes against the damning proof staring back at him. He couldn't face her, couldn't face what he'd done to her. "Dammit. Shit. Fuck."

With great difficult and pain, Lindsay rose from the wheelchair waving off the immediate protests that rose from both Dr. Peterson and Flack. She slowly crossed the room suppressing each groan that threatened to escape her lips with each step. Once she was at Danny's side, she brushed her fingertips against his hairline. She didn't need to see the heart monitor going crazy to see what his emotions were doing to him. "Danny? Danny, it's okay. I'm okay. We'll figure this out."

She wasn't exactly sure what they'd figure out, whether she was talking about the true cause of the attack or how their friendship would survive but she'd hoped the sound of her voice and the touch of her fingertips would at least offer some sort of comfort. A hand touched her back but she ignored everything else in the room but the man who had wormed his way into a place in her heart that she'd believed was completely hardened by the events of her past. She needed him to be okay because if he wasn't, she didn't know if she would be okay either. Her heart broke as he suddenly began to sob. She knew that sound only too well having heard it from herself and the parents of the friends she'd lost so many years ago. It was the sound of someone admitting that their life was forever changed in an instant that cannot be reclaimed. Her own legs were shaking but she wasn't sure if it was from her injuries, the painkiller they had pumped her full of, or grief that her injuries had reduced a strong man to such tears.

"Monroe, you shouldn't be here. If you won't go back to your own bed, at least sit down before you fall down. Mac'll never forgive me if you hurt yourself worse on my watch." Flack's voice was gentle but insistent as his hand on her back tried to press her just as gently but firmly to the stool he'd pushed behind her. He couldn't figure out why she was there in the first place. What good would it do either of them to be in the same room right now? Even if she were convinced there was a good reason for what Danny had done, she shouldn't have to confront the man who had hurt her so severely just hours earlier. And how would it help calm Danny down to see first hand the damage his hands had wrought? He glanced back with a severe glare at the doctor standing in the doorway.

He'd been told that Dr. Peterson was supposed to be the best but he wasn't so sure. He been in the room earlier when the man had questioned Danny but his questions had only seemed to cause his best friend more pain without providing answers that would help. Now, he just seemed to be standing there behind the safety of the wheelchair watching the reunion between the man and woman with an almost morbid fascination. Flack wasn't really a violent man; sure, he'd been known to rough up a suspect slightly if the need arose and other times he'd had to fight that natural desire to feed his fists to some vile, miscreant of society. But never had he had to fight that desire as strongly as he did now. Did the doctor get off on seeing two people in pain?

"Flack?" He glanced down as Lindsay softly called his name. Her eyes never left Danny's face as she spoke. "You think maybe you could get both of us something to drink? I don't guess either of us really needs the caffeine from coffee but a couple of juices would be good."

His hand was still resting on her back and he gave it a little rub of reassurance. "Sure, I'll buzz the nurse-"

"Could you possibly go get it instead?" It was then he realized she was trying to get him to leave the room; leave the two of them alone together. He shook his head. There was no way he was going to do that, even if Danny was still restrained to the bed.

"No way, Monroe. You know how this works. There has to be an officer in the room as long as Danny is still in the ER." He was glad he had protocol to fall back on as she glanced up at him; her poor wounded expression pleading with him.

"Last time I checked, I'm an officer so you wouldn't be breaking procedure."

"It's okay, Detective." Dr. Peterson spoke up from the door of the cubicle. "I'll be right here and I'll take full responsibility."

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell the doctor exactly what he could do with his responsibility, but Flack reluctantly acquiesced. He planted a chaste kiss on the uninjured side of Lindsay's face. "I'm glad you are okay. You know Mac's going to have my ass for this."

The small half-smile of gratitude she shot him was worth the grief he'd take from Mac when the head of the crime lab discovered what he had done and he left the cubicle. He stopped beside Dr. Peterson, his expression one usually reserved for the toughest of suspects. "What's the big idea bringing her in here? You like torturing people?"

"I'm trying to get a feel for what's going on between the two. I read the report before talking to either of them. Would you agree that neither of them acted the way you would have expected them to at the diner?"

Flack nodded, not willing to speak words that might sound like a betrayal.

"She went in there with no hesitation, no hint of fear of being in the presence of the man who had hurt her. She's the one who asked for time alone. I've worked with abuse victims for years and usually even women who have completely given up hope of being free of an abusive relationship and have accepted what's happening as a way of life show at least a little fear in the presence of their attacker. Her reaction is totally different from what I'm accustomed to seeing."

Flack frowned. He glanced back into the room. Lindsay was still lightly caressing Danny's face and seemed to be speaking soft comforting words. "I thought you were supposed to be determining whether or not Danny should be placed on a psych hold."

The doctor nodded. "I am. I can get a better feel for his condition by observing them together. She's the one who's been beaten but she's the one comforting him. This isn't your typical case of assault. It's much more complicated than that."

"Yeah, well, they have a complicated relationship. You sure leaving them alone together is a wise move?"

The doctor nodded. "He's restrained. He can't hurt her again and she doesn't look like she has any intentions of revenge."

"I'm thinking more emotionally rather than physically. She should be in bed still and I doubt the emotional upheaval her presence caused him is what Dr. Terry wants in regards to Danny's blood pressure." Flack argued, in no hurry to get juice, coffee or anything else.

"Are you sure? Look at the heart monitor." Dr. Peterson offered calmly.

Flack glanced back and was surprised to see despite Danny's heart wrenching sobs that his blood pressure was steadily dropping instead of rising. It was already lower than it had been sense Danny's arrival at the ER. He wasn't sure how Lindsay was doing it, but there was no questioning the calming effect she was having on Danny.

"Go down to the cafeteria. Get yourself a cup of coffee, come back in twenty minutes or so with juice for the two of them. I'll be right here." Dr. Peterson insisted.

He shook his head. "I feel bad enough just leaving the room; I ain't going anywhere."

"What good are you going to do either of them if you don't take care of yourself?" The psychiatrist questioned. "It's easy to see you are friends with both of them. I can't imagine any of this has been any easier on you than it has them. If anything it's been harder because you've had to put your own feelings aside to be there for him. If you don't take the time to process your own thoughts and feelings, how can you help them?"

Flack had to admit the doctor had a point. He had yet to wrap his mind around the fact that his best friend had even been capable of such violence. It was such a foreign concept to him that he'd found himself struggling to be snappish with his friend at times. Being able to take a few minutes to just grab a cup of coffee and decompress would be nice but it still felt so wrong to do so at the expense of leaving Danny and Lindsay alone together.

Seeing that he wasn't convincing the young detective, Dr. Peterson offered another alternative. "We also have a break room just down the hall. The coffee is a little better than the sludge at the nurse's station. Go in there for a few minutes. No one will say anything to you. That way if something should happen, you'll still be close."

Deciding that he could live with that alternative, Flack nodded. Dr. Peterson stopped a young nurse and asked her to show Flack to the break room. He had barely sat down at the small round table with a cup of steaming coffee in his hand with a familiar voice caught his attention.

"Flack?" Jess Angell stood in the doorway, her expression concerned. She was still new to the force but had fit in quite easily among both the lab and the precinct. Though their relationship was still professional, they enjoyed flirting with each other. It was a different type of chemistry than what everyone at the lab had noticed between Danny and Lindsay from the very beginning. The banter between the two CSIs was playful and teasing reminding Flack more of a little boy pulling a girl's pigtails on the playground to show that he liked her. The flirting he'd shared with Jess so far had been a little more subtle and full of sexual innuendo. He was reasonably sure that one day soon, they would cross that line into becoming more than just co-workers. He found he was quite looking forward to it. Right now, he was just glad to see her.

"Hey, I'm surprised to see you here."

She shrugged and then entered the break room sitting down opposite him. She reached over and gave one of his arms a reassuring squeeze. "I was in court this morning so I didn't hear about what happened until I got back to the station. I figured you might could use a friendly face. How are you?"

He answered with a similar shrug. He wasn't really sure how he was but he knew she wouldn't press him for an explanation. He took a drink of the coffee, scalding his mouth in the process. "How bad is the talk at the station?"

Jess frowned, pushing a long strand of black hair behind her ears. "I'm sure you can imagine. It's all anyone can talk about and everybody has their own opinion. And like armpits, some of them stink. Rumor has it you have to arrest Danny as soon as he is released."

Flack nodded. "I guess I should be glad that I'm the one to do it. I know I'm not going to bust his chops about it, at least not until we know more. But still, I feel like I'm being asked to arrest a member of my own family."

"Then let me do it." Jess offered. He looked at her sharply but she held her hand up to ward off any argument. "I don't want to do it any more than you do. I've worked more than a few cases with Danny and I know he's a stand up guy. But this isn't going to be easy for either of you. Let me play the heavy. You know I'm not going to bust his chops any more than you are."

In that moment, he fell just a little more in love with the beautiful detective. "Thanks. I appreciate it more than you can know. But it may not be necessary. Mac is arranging things so that they put a psych hold on Danny. Hopefully but the time he's actually released, we'll know why he did what he did and we won't have to arrest him at all."

Jess regarded him carefully. "Something else is bothering you. What is it?"

"Dr. Peterson was comparing Lindsay to other victims of abuse. I want to give him a hard time about it. Protest that Lindsay Monroe is not a domestic violence victim but it's hard to argue with the evidence."

Her dark eyes narrowed as she listened to him. "We don't even know the whole story yet. It's a little too soon to cast her in a role of victim based on this one event." Then she eyed him carefully. "You know something more. What is it?"

Flack filled her in on the old bruises that Stella had found. Jess shook her head. "That still doesn't mean anything. You're looking at one through the lens of the other. There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for the old bruises that has nothing to do with abuse of any kind."

"One of the bruises is the outline of a handprint. Someone grabbed her arm hard enough to leave a bruise." Flack countered. "Danny swears he isn't responsible for the old bruises but he also doesn't remember what happened today. But at the same time, I just can't figure out who else she would be trying to protect."

"Maybe herself." Jess suggested and then continued. "People don't understand how difficult it can be sometimes to a female in a male dominated world. Right or wrong, we're held to a different standard. It's like people are just waiting for us to fail."

Seeing that Flack was about to protest she continued. "My first week out of the academy I had a little fender bender while driving a patrol car. The road was icy and the car ahead of me lost control. I avoided the major wreck and clipped the guard rail. You wouldn't believe the ribbing I took for that incident. Never mind that one of the other rookies - a guy - had four wrecks of his own on his record. I'm the one they said shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car. If something happened to Lindsay, maybe she didn't say anything because she didn't want people to judge her."

Finishing off the last of his coffee, he then crumpled up the Styrofoam cup and threw it in the garbage can. "Nobody would judge…" He trailed off as he realized that was exactly what everyone, including himself had been doing since the call at the diner had come in. "Damn."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Here is the report you asked for, Doctor." The nurse handed Dr. Terry the printout before walking away.

Knowing the printout contained the tox reports for both Detective Messer and Monroe, he scanned the results quickly. Frowning, he reread the information more closely, paying special attention to Detective Messer's results. He knew Detective Taylor was counting on the fact that there was a reasonable explanation for the aggressive behavior Detective Messer had displayed against Detective Monroe. The test results he was currently looking at showed a definite reason for it but he had a feeling it wasn't going to be the results Detective Taylor was hoping for. He shook his head.

His cell phone chirped at his side. He opened his phone and gave a terse "hello."

The ER desk clerk informed him that Detective Taylor had returned and was looking for him. Dr. Terry thanked the woman and promised to be there in a few minutes. He looked at the results once more, hoping the news had changed while he'd been on the phone. It hadn't.

"Damn."


	5. Chapter 4

Author's Notes: The last chapter began and ended with the same word. It wasn't something I had set out to do and I didn't even realize it until I was checking back over it. I thought it made a good touch and left it that way. I probably couldn't do it again if I tried. I'm glad people are enjoying the story and I hope you continue to do so, even if things look bad for our favorite couple for now. Thanks for reading and taking the time to review. It means a lot to me.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 4

Danny wasn't sure how long he lay there with his eyes shut tight against the truth, listening to Lindsay's comforting dulcet tones and feeling her fingers lightly running through his hair. He couldn't deny the effect she was having on him; he could literally feel the stress that had him wound so tightly slowly ebbing away with each second. He needed her near him, needed to know that somehow despite what logic would suggest, she wasn't repulsed by him and his actions. At the same time, however, he didn't want her there. He didn't deserve her forgiveness or her kindness. She should be so far away from him that he couldn't hurt her again if he had tried.

"Why are you here?" He finally worked up the nerve to ask. He forced himself to open his eyes and look at her. It was cowardly not facing what he'd done; having her bruises slap him in the face with their harshness against her pale skin. She simply smiled wanly at him.

"I was worried about you. Wanted to make sure you were okay."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Wanted to make sure I was okay? Shit, Montana, have you looked in a mirror? I should be the one checking on you. Your face, your beautiful perfect face; I'm responsible for that. And the brace on your wrist? Just how bad are you hurt? Don't give me that 'I'll be okay' crap. Give me the honest truth."

"Mostly bruises really. A hairline fracture to the cheek, lower arm, and three ribs. Honestly I've probably been hurt worse being thrown from my horse as a little girl."

He flexed his fingers, wanting to reach up and tenderly touch the bandage that covered her cheek. The whole right side of her face was bruised and swollen and it was all his fault. The fact that he so wanted to touch her and reassure himself that she was actually there and okay made him glad for the very first time since he'd woken up in the ER that he was strapped to the stretcher. He didn't trust himself to touch her; afraid that something might happen that would once more make him lose control so completely. "Looks painful. Did they give you something for pain?"

Lindsay nodded. "A couple of different times." The truth was the pain was still pretty unbearable. If Dr. Terry offered her another shot for pain, she'd accept it in a heartbeat. She didn't voice that out loud, however. Danny didn't need any more guilt piled on him. Her left hand that had been caressing his hairline stopped and traveled lower to touch his wrist around the straps. She could tell that despite the fact that the restraints were what were considered soft restraints, he'd managed to bruise his wrists almost as severely as she had been. She winced, wanting to undo the straps to make him more comfortable. She glanced back toward the door, contemplating how quickly she'd be caught if she did. Dr. Peterson who was just unobtrusively observing them from the doorway shook his head quietly as if he knew what she was thinking.

"Why are you here?" He asked again. Lindsay looked at him sharply. Was his memory affected that much that he'd forgotten he already asked that question? Could that help explain what had happened at the diner?

"Danny, I just told you-"

"No, I know. But why are you really here? I should be the last person you want to see. If I weren't strapped to this bed, I wouldn't want to be in my company. I'm sure Flack's only been in here because he had to. He was probably glad to get out of here and away from me."

Lindsay would have rolled her eyes if her right eye hadn't been so swollen. "Yeah, that's why I practically had to beg him to give us a moment or two alone. Danny, don't beat yourself up over this. No one who knows you believes you did this on purpose. I'm here because you're my friend and I want you to know I don't blame you."

"Beat myself up, right. Cause we both know I've already done a bang up job of beating you up, right. Shit, Montana."

A nurse stepped into the room just as he was saying this and crossed to where Lindsay was sitting on the stool. Neither CSI missed the look of contempt she shot toward Danny before addressing Lindsay. "Detective Monroe, Dr. Terry is going to release you as soon as Detective Taylor returns but he wants you to get a couple more painkillers before you leave. I'll give you one now and then the other right before you leave. Would you like to go back to your cubicle to lie down until he arrives? Dr. Peterson said you would probably want to stay here but I don't want to reassign your cubicle to someone else if you want to return to it."

Lindsay smiled for her. "I'm fine here. Thank you. I won't protest taking something for pain though."

The nurse gave her the shot and left the curtained area muttering under her breath. Danny shook his head, the only part of his body that would move relatively freely. "That's the reaction I deserve from everyone. The hospital knows the score at least. They think I'm crazy."

"No one thinks you are crazy, Danny." Lindsay assured him.

He practically snorted. "Right, that's why they have Dr. Headshrinker evaluating me for a padded cell upstairs."

Lindsay realized then that no one had probably explained to Danny exactly what was going on. "Danny, the psych hold was Mac's idea…"

"Great, he thinks I'm crazy too. I can probably kiss my job goodbye; not that I deserve it anyway. How many times can a guy mess up and still expect to escaped unscathed?"

"Danny!" Lindsay's tone was slightly sharp and Danny turned to stare at her dejectedly. She apologized for her tone before continuing. "Mac is trying to protect your job. Sinclair has already put out an arrest warrant for you in this. Mac hoped that by coming up with an excuse to keep you here as long as he can, it'll give the rest of the team to work out what happened so you won't go to jail. It really is going to be okay."

"Montana, what happened is that for some reason I beat the living shit out of you and whatever happens because of that is what I deserve. You don't have to keep trying to make me feel better."

"I can't do anything if you aren't willing to hear it." Lindsay warned, her words starting to slur slightly. Danny looked at her in concern, noticing she looked like she was about to keel over any moment.

"You okay there Montana? You fall off that stool, I'm a little helpless to help you back up."

She nodded, swaying just slightly on the stool. "Yeah, I think it's the painkiller. It makes me groggy but then I can't sleep. The others didn't hit me this fast though."

"How many have you had?" Danny didn't think he'd ever seen a painkiller take affect so fast and he wondered if it had to do with how much she'd been given or that she wasn't lying down this time.

"That's the third one. The idea was to start light and up the dosage only if needed. I guess he felt like I needed it." She blinked her good eye tiredly.

"Shit, that's enough to knock me flat and I'm much bigger than you are." Danny looked toward the cubicle entrance for help but Dr. Peterson didn't seem to be paying them any attention. "You should probably lie down before you fall down. Seriously you look like you could fall out any second."

"Just gave my bed up." Lindsay argued, and it was clear that she was already half asleep. Danny frowned.

"I'd give you mine but I'm a little attached to it at the moment." Danny was just about to raise his voice to get Dr. Peterson's attention. He really was worried that she was going to fall off the stool if he waited any longer. To his surprise she stood and gingerly eased onto the stretcher with him.

"Scoot over just a little then." She laid down on her left side, her uninjured shoulder burrowing just under his armpit. Her head rested just on his chest. Danny protested but she waved off his concerns, tapping his stomach lightly with her braced arm. "Not like we haven't dozed off together watching a movie or something. What's the big deal?"

The big deal? Was she freakin' serious? Sure there had been more times than he could count when they'd spent the evening at each other's apartments to watch a game or a movie and had fallen asleep in each other's arms only to awaken several hours later so the one who was a visitor could return to their own home. The big deal was that those times had been when things were simpler between them. Back when they were just good friends without the pressure to be anything more even if the hope of more was lurking in the background. Back before he'd tried to make things more between them only to be rejected. Back before he'd ruined any chance he might ever have for something more by inflicting these vicious wounds on her. She shouldn't be able to stand being in the same room with him, let alone curled up comfortably against him. But there she was already snoring softly as the painkiller lulled her into what he hoped was at least a painless, deep sleep.

With his hands secured tightly to the sides of the bed, he couldn't wrap his arms around her the way he would have if they had been on one of their couches watching a movie. His mind kept screaming at him that this was completely wrong but his body couldn't deny how right it felt. He was still cursing his body for enjoying the feel of her body snuggled against him when his own exhaustion lulled him to sleep as well.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

With Lindsay's gym bag slung over his shoulder, Mac strode purposefully into the emergency department. He made his way to the cubicle where he'd left Lindsay earlier but was surprised to see someone else lying in the stretcher. He frowned and looked for a nurse.

"Where's Detective Monroe?"

The nurse's frown was even more severe than his own. "The last place she should be. I don't know what Dr. Peterson was thinking. I know he's got all that fancy training and all but it doesn't make sense putting a victim together with her attacker so soon after the attack. Especially someone like her."

Mac shook his head confused. "What do you mean?"

"Dr. Peterson wheeled her down to Detective Messer's cubicle. She's in there with him right now like nothing even happened. She shouldn't even have to be in the same hospital with the man who hurt her let alone in the same room with him. It's just like asking for him to hurt her again. I just don't know what he was thinking."

Inwardly, Mac swore. He'd told Lindsay to stay put and follow doctor's orders when he left. He was pretty sure he'd even threatened a long run of dumpster diving if she didn't. How had she talked Dr. Peterson into letting her see Danny? It wasn't that Mac wanted to keep the two apart, he just questioned the wisdom of them seeing each other. Danny had been so upset earlier that Mac couldn't imagine seeing the effects his fists had on Lindsay's face would do anything to calm him down.

"Detective Taylor?" The nurse continued, handing him a brochure. "Will you give that to Detective Monroe? The hospital sponsors a really good support group for victims of domestic abuse."

Again the idea of Lindsay being a victim of any sort would have seemed almost laughable to Mac in any other circumstance. "We're pretty sure this was an isolated incident but thank you. I'll give Lindsay the brochure just in case she's interested."

The nurse pursed her lips, a hand on hip. "With all due respect, sir. When someone comes in beaten that severely with no defense wounds, it's not an isolated incident. It's a sign of someone who has given up hope. That can be a dangerous place for a woman to be. Usually the next time a woman in that position comes through the ER, they leave in a body bag. I'd hate to see that happen to Detective Monroe."

Hearing the nurse talk about Lindsay in such an unflattering way on top of everything else that had happened during the day was almost enough to send Mac in a verbal tirade. He held his tongue, however, realizing the nurse was coming from a place of caring and wasn't meaning to attack Lindsay's character. They probably treated injuries similar to Lindsay's on a daily basis if not hourly. It wasn't hard to believe that some of the nurses as well as the doctors were jaded or at least resigned to the reality of the situation. "Her friends and I will make sure that it doesn't. Can you tell me where Dr. Terry is? I need to find out about some tests he ran."

The nurse nodded; her expression saying she wasn't sure she believed his sincerity. "He's in the attendee's office looking at some paperwork. Would you like for me to have the desk clerk call him for you?"

"Thank you. I'll be in Detective Messer's cubicle." After she walked away, Mac made his way down the hall toward the other cubicle. At least if Lindsay was with Danny, Flack was in the room with them to make sure everything was okay. Or so he thought until he looked up to see Flack and Angell sitting in chairs outside the cubicle with Dr. Peterson. His eyes narrowed as he approached the detectives. Flack immediately raised his hands in mock surrender.

"Not my idea. I didn't like it and more importantly I knew you wouldn't like it but Lindsay insisted and the good doctor here backed up her up all the way." Flack insisted before Mac could say anything.

Flack cringed as he heard Mac mutter something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'dumpsters for at least a year." He didn't think he was the target of the implied threat; he was reasonably sure the head of the crime lab couldn't force him to go dumpster diving at a crime scene. However, he wasn't going to bet money against it. Mac set the gym bag down on the ground, set to go into the room and check on his detectives for himself. Dr. Peterson caught his arm lightly.

"Don't be mad at Detective Flack. For that matter, don't blame Detective Monroe either. It was my idea to let her see Detective Messer. I needed to ascertain how he would react to seeing her; it was imperative to see whether he truly is a danger to himself or others."

Mac shook his head. He had trusted Dr. Terry's judgment in selecting Dr. Peterson to evaluate Danny but now he wasn't so sure. "And that was worth risking his and Lindsay's emotional well being? Did you discover what you needed to know?"

He thought he knew Danny very well. He wouldn't have tempered the statement by including the word thought at all if the events of the day hadn't happened. But still, he knew him enough to know that he could be his own worst enemy. Nobody would vilify his actions as horribly as he would himself. He could only imagine the emotional scene it had been when Danny had seen Lindsay's wounds first hand. Remembering the violent reaction Danny had had just from being restrained and hearing about what had happened, Mac could only figure that reaction had to have been tamed compared to the one he'd had at seeing Lindsay. How would Lindsay have handled seeing him so out of control so soon after experiencing it painfully first hand?

"Take a look." Dr. Peterson stepped to one side so that Mac could see into the cubicle. Any other time, the image of the two CSI's asleep in each other's arms would have brought a smile to his lips. He might be one some would consider hardnosed but he truly cared about all of his people. He'd been silently pulling for the two to get together. They balanced each other so well that despite the fact that interdepartmental romances were frowned on, he didn't think it would be a problem with these two. In this moment however, the image caused his stomach to twist into knots. Without the straps on Danny's wrists or the bruises standing out so starkly on Lindsay's face, this would be just a sweet innocent moment. But the straps were there and the bruises couldn't be denied. This wasn't a sweet innocent moment and he couldn't help but fear the cost it would have on both Danny and Lindsay in the long run.

Almost as if he could sense Mac's disapproval, the psychiatrist nodded toward the heart monitor. "Look at Detective Messer's vitals."

Mac didn't want to; didn't want to see the danger the younger man's emotions were putting him in. But at the doctor's bidding, his eyes traveled up to the monitor and widened in surprised. He looked back at the doctor and then at Flack and Jess. "His blood pressure is normal. How? Did Dr. Terry give him more of the sedative?"

Flack shook his head. He'd been just as surprised by the change in Danny as Mac was. "It started coming down all on its own just about the same time Monroe came in. I was there, Mac; he was upset but at the same time she was calming him down." It beat all he'd ever seen, but despite what his training and experience had taught him about cases like this, they seemed to be comforting each other.

Dr. Peterson gave the sleeping couple one last glance. "I'm going to arrange for a room for Detective Messer. Once he is awake, I'll have him transferred. Detective Taylor, can I have a word with you in private?"

Mac wanted to have more than just a word with the man but nodded. The look he gave Flack spoke volumes. _Don't take your eyes off either one of them._ Flack nodded to let him know the message was received loud and clear.

Jess shook her head. "He realizes he's more than a little scary at times, doesn't he?"

Flack nodded once again. "I think he counts on it. What do you think; did I mess up by leaving the two of them alone together? My better judgment said I shouldn't have but I couldn't look at her injured face and tell her no."

He looked so tortured, Jess reached over and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. "Don, look at them. It might not have been the most orthodox move but you can't deny that they both look peaceful. You didn't mess up."

Flashing her a grateful smile, Flack ducked his head a little. "I'm glad you came by. I think I needed a friendly face."

"Once Danny is transferred and you can leave, how would you like to grab a bite to eat with this friendly face? My treat."

The tips of Flack's ears turned pink, but his smile switched to a playful smirk. "In that case, I could go for a good Porterhouse steak or two."

Meanwhile, Mac followed Dr. Peterson to the break room. The doctor poured them both a cup of coffee before joining Mac at the table. "Despite what happened today, I don't believe Detective Messer is a threat to anyone. He didn't exhibit any signs of aggression against Detective Monroe. I don't know what caused him to snap at the diner but I don't believe he's a current threat to others."

While Mac was glad to hear the doctor's professional opinion, he was a little surprised. "But you are ordering the psych hold. Why?"

The psychiatrist sighed. "I don't think he's a threat to anyone else but I am worried he could be a threat to himself."

Mac shook his head. "Danny wouldn't harm himself."

Peterson raised an eyebrow. "I have a feeling this morning you would have said he wasn't capable of hurting his partner and yet here we are. I'm not suggesting that I think Detective Messer is suicidal; nothing that extreme. But yes, I do think in his current state of mind that he is capable of hurting himself. It's pretty clear to me and to him that Detective Monroe isn't blaming him for what happened. While that may on the surface appear to be a good thing, it only adds to his guilt and trust me when I tell you his guilt is enormous. Since she is not blaming him, he's only going to feel a greater need to blame himself. From what I've seen, I think he's waiting to be punished even if it means punishing himself. I don't know how receptive he's going to be but I'd like to help him work through that guilt in a healthy way and barring that at least keep him safe until he works through it himself."

Mac toyed with the Styrofoam cup in front of him. He didn't like what he was hearing but he couldn't really deny anything Peterson had said. How many times had Danny showed that he was harder on himself when trouble occurred than anyone else could ever think of being. "I'm hoping we get answers soon as to why Danny attacked Lindsay today. It's my hope that if he knows it wasn't his fault, he'll find it easier to forgive himself."

Dr. Peterson shook his head. "I wouldn't count on it. Guilt like what I'm sensing he's feeling isn't rational and rational explanations won't counter it. But we can get him to deal with the guilt and move past it. I'll let you know when I have a room ready for him. I would like for you to do something for me, though."

Mac nodded, almost holding his breath waiting for the other shoe to drop. Dr. Peterson looked grim. "Try to convince Detective Monroe to talk to a professional as well. I got a sense that she wasn't too taken with me but I could recommend others. At first appearance, she looks like she's handling everything fine but there is no way a person walks away from an attack like that unscathed emotionally. She may think she doesn't blame Detective Messer and she may think she's okay with what happened but sooner or later it's all going to come crashing down on her. I'm sure you and her other friends will be there for her when it happens but I'm worried that she's so protective of Detective Messer and concerned about him, that she'll be too worried to let any of you see that side of her. If she does, she's going to worry that she'll make things worse for him. A stranger - a professional - can give her that outlet without that risk."

Remembering Sinclair's ultimatum to sanction Lindsay, Mac wondered if ordering her to talk to a counselor would suffice as fulfilling Sinclair's demand. He had a feeling that she'd fight him tooth and nail; she wasn't the type to discuss her feelings openly with anyone. She was just too private and independent to be comfortable with that. Whether she liked it or not, Mac would have to make decisions about what was best for her. Hopefully while she was staying with him, he could convince her of the wisdom of it. "I'll do what I can."

Even as the psychiatrist left the break room, Mac continued to sit there contemplating everything he'd been told. Dr. Terry joined him a moment later holding a print out. Mac nodded toward it. "That the tox report?"

Dr. Terry nodded. "Lindsay's report came back clean. Nothing even so mild as a Tylenol showed up on hers."

Mac wasn't really surprised. He'd almost hoped for something to explain the lack of defensive wounds but he'd resigned himself to the fact that her reactions probably hadn't been drug induced. "And Danny?"

"I'm pretty sure it wasn't the outcome you were hoping for but I did find a cause for his behavior." He handed the report to Mac. The head of the crime lab scanned the report and cursed. It certainly wasn't what he was hoping for. Dr. Terry gave him a moment. "I doubled checked everything. It's accurate. Has there been anything that would have made you suspicious before now?"

Mac shook his head. "We do random drug screenings but I can't remember the last time Danny's name came up for a drug test. I can't believe he would do this. There's gotta be another explanation. These levels-" He trailed off unable to complete his question.

"I'd say based on the levels in his bloodstream and the severity of today's attack, he's either been heavily using for about three weeks or at a lower dosage for a longer period of time, maybe even a few months. Fortunately, the effects are reversible and I believe we caught it before it did irreparable damage. I can coordinate with Dr. Peterson about handing the effects of withdrawal. We will keep this as quiet as we can; no sense making things worse for Danny than we have to. You can chose who you tell outside of the hospital staff."

"Thanks. As much as I would like to pretend this information hadn't come out; I can't do that. But I do want to be careful about this until we know for sure if Danny was even aware of what he was taking."

"As far as hospital personnel, it'll be need-to-know only. I'll get Lindsay's discharge papers ready. Don't be surprised if she seems a little out of it and sleepy the rest of the night. I've got her pretty well dosed on painkillers but to be honest, it's not really going to do much for the pain. At most it's going to keep her pretty well knocked out so she's not aware of the pain. I wish I could do more but it's just going to take time for her to heal. If there's anything I can do for either Danny or Lindsay, let me know."

Mac thanked him again and followed him out of the break room, folding the printout and putting it in his pocket. He rejoined Flack and Angell, still reeling from the news. He sighed; he wasn't ready to tell Flack what they had discovered but he did have a job for the dark-haired detective. One he wouldn't trust to just anybody. Before he could ask though, he glanced into the cubicle and saw that Danny was awake and looking uncomfortable. He stepped over to the bed, keeping his voice low so as not to wake Lindsay.

"What's wrong?" He wasn't sure what he expected but it wasn't Danny's answer.

"I gotta take a leak like nobody's business. Got any ideas how I'm going to manage that while strapped to this freakin' bed? Forget those plastic pee jars the hospital has. I can't even manage one of those alone with my hands strapped and I ain't about to have you or anyone else help me with it. Not that I'd resort to one with Montana lying here beside me like this anyway."

Mac considered him carefully. "You think you can ease out of that bed without disturbing Lindsay if I unstrap you?" Danny nodded, glumly. "Okay, but I swear to you if you do anything to make me regret cutting you loose, it'll be nothing to the regret I put on you. Understood?"

Again, the only answer was a slight nod. Mac deftly unfastened the straps and watched as Danny eased out of the bed without waking Lindsay. She whimpered slightly at the loss of contact but didn't wake up. Mac noticed that the younger man, however, was having difficulty even looking at the young woman that obviously meant so much to him. He chalked it up to the guilt he knew Danny was feeling over what happened. He couldn't help but fear what the news of what had caused Danny's attack would do Lindsay when she found out. It was not a conversation Mac was looking forward to. He insisted on escorting Danny down the hall to the restroom and surprisingly Danny didn't protest. He did allow Danny the privacy of using the bathroom alone after checking the interior for any dangers.

Once Danny emerged, Mac led him into the break room and had the young man sit down. He needed answers and wanted to get them in relative privacy. "Tell me honestly, Danny. Are you worried about the new physical fitness test coming up?" The department had announced the new requirement about two months ago and the test was coming up in a few weeks.

Danny seemed surprised by the question but shook his head. "Not really, or at least I wasn't before today. Now I'm thinking I'll be lucky enough to still have a job in order to have to take the test. Why? What does that have to do with anything?"

Mac pressed on. "What have you been doing to get ready for it?"

Danny shrugged. "Working out in the gym as much as I get the chance to. It's not like the test is something I couldn't handle anyway. More of an annoyance than a challenge, really. Montana's been more worried about than I have. Why, I don't know; she can run circles around just about everyone at the lab. Mac, what's all this talk about the test? Don't I have more important things to worry about right now?"

"Anything else?" Mac pressed on. It made him feel better that Danny seemed only confused by the questions, not evasive.

"What else is there? Seriously Mac, does the fitness test have something to do with what happened?"

"The tox screen showed drugs in your system."

The relief that immediately came over Danny's features cut Mac to the quick. It was as if for just that second, Danny could hold on to some hope that what had happened had been out of his control. That even though he would have to live with the fact that Lindsay had been hurt by his own hands, he wasn't ultimately responsible. "I was drugged? With what? Do you know when or how yet? Is that what caused me to flip out?"

Mac felt like he had a knife in his hand that he was about to stab the younger man in the back with. "Danny, it looks like you experienced a 'roid rage. Your tox screen showed high levels of anabolic steroids in your blood."

Danny jumped to his feet, knocking over a chair in the process. "No freakin' way. You gotta be kidding. How the fuck did that happen?"

Mac's eyes narrowed and he pulled the print-out out of his pocket and handed it to Danny. "You tell me, Danny. The test doesn't lie. According to this, you been taking them for months now. You better have a good explanation for this Danny. I don't know that I can protect you if you don't."


	6. Chapter 5

Author's Notes: I was going to try to get this chapter up last night but sleepiness won out over creativity. Hope you enjoy it.

Got a curious question for other writers out there. The main reason I rated this story as M is because of the use of the F-word. Am I being too cautious? The ratings guide for T says mild coarse language but I'm not sure where certain words fit on the scale of mild to major. What do others use as their guide? Just curious. I'd much rather rate higher and avoid trouble than put it too low and offend someone but I'd really like others opinions on this.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 5

It was barely even a strangled cry; the sound almost lost in the busy hustle and bustle of the emergency department of the hospital. However, at its initial start just minutes after Mac had led Danny out of the room, Flack was on his feet in an instant rushing into the cubicle that held the should-still-be-sleeping injured crime scene investigator. Jess followed behind him, unsure how he'd recognized the origin of the sound so quickly but trusting that he knew what he was doing. He must have seen something as he'd watched from the chairs they had been sitting in.

Lindsay was struggling to sit up and obviously having great difficulty in doing so both from the pain and the haze of the drug induced sleep. Flack gathered her gently in his arms, trying to remember where the worst of her injuries were so that he wouldn't accidentally jar them and make her pain worse. Jess wasn't so sure the other woman was even completely awake but Lindsay's left fingers dug into Flack's shirt and the tips of her right fingers made a valiant but fruitless grab as well.

Flack could feel her heart hammering against his chest and could only imagine the terrors her mind was haunting her with. He rubbed her back comfortingly and whispered reassurances in her ear, hoping to calm her down. She wasn't stiff in his arms, willingly taking the comfort he was offering, but at the same time she wasn't completely relaxed either. It was as if there was someone else's arms she'd rather be engulfed in. As inexplicable as it was, Flack was sure that it was Danny's arms she was longing for. He'd seen how relaxed and at ease she'd been while sleeping in the other man's arms, as if she belonged there. He knew from his talks with Danny the last couple of weeks that Lindsay had protested that she wasn't ready for any kind of relationship but Flack had still be hoping that she would change her mind and give his friend a chance. He only hoped that today hadn't killed that hope for good.

Jess raised an eyebrow at him and he knew she was asking if everything was okay or if she needed to call a doctor or nurse. He shrugged ever so slightly. Lindsay's heart wasn't beating quite as fast as it had been at first and he thought she was calming down from whatever had frightened her. "Bad dream?"

Lindsay took in a ragged breath and then groaned as the movement tugged on her injured ribs. She shrugged ever so slightly. "I don't know. I don't even remember falling asleep. The painkiller must have knocked me out. I was sleeping hard and then something startled me; I don't know what. I jumped in my sleep and that just made everything hurt all the more."

Her words held a slight slur that concerned Flack. He tried to search her eyes without releasing his hold on her, checking to see if something there would tell him if she was in need of the doctor Jess seemed so willing to call.. "Need me or Jess to get the doctor? See about something more for pain?"

She shook her head, still resting against his body. Her own felt heavy and cumbersome and she knew it was the effects of the painkiller she'd been given. She couldn't help but think with all she'd been given that she shouldn't even be able to feel anything. "Don't think there's enough painkiller in the hospital to completely get rid of the pain. But no, I think if I take much more I'm going to OD."

She pulled away awkwardly and he helped her settle back on the bed raising it so that she was comfortable. She looked down at the empty straps and chewed on her bottom lip a moment before asking, "Where's Danny?"

"Call of nature. Mac's with him."

At the mention of her boss's name, Lindsay grimaced just a little. "I guess he wasn't too happy to see me here."

"None of us are happy to see you here." Before she could react to his statement, he winked at her. "Oh, you mean here in Danny's room not here in the hospital in general?" Flack shrugged. "He had what Jess called his scary side on but I think Dr. Peterson deflected Mac's wrath more on himself than on either of us. Don't worry about it. You think you could answer a question for me?"

A little fear crept into Lindsay's eyes and Flack knew she was worried he was about to question her either about the attack itself or the mysterious older bruises. She knew she would have to eventually but deep inside she knew her statement alone, like those of the witnesses they had already heard from, would only incriminate Danny further. She knew deep inside without any hesitation or doubt that Danny hadn't been in control of his actions when he attacked her but without any evidence that confirmed that theory, it wouldn't hold any weight. Still, as much as she might want to, she couldn't put it off forever. With almost a feeling that she was betraying her friend and partner by doing so, she nodded reluctantly. He pulled the stool closer, reaching out to take her left hand snuggly in his own instead of reaching into his pocket for his notebook like she would have figured. Flack didn't care how the affectionate gesture looked to anyone else, she was Danny's girl whether they wanted to admit it or not but it didn't stop Flack from considering her a friend or sister. He hoped the contact would help her feel more relaxed and safe. "Before you came in earlier, Danno was trying to remember as much as he could about what happened at the diner. He could remember you two arguing about something playfully. That's when you came in and said it was over which was better Chicago or New York style pizza."

Lindsay nodded again, a little relieved that the questioning seemed benign. At least he was going to ease her into the difficult questions. To her surprise, Flack frowned, his expression a little confused. "I don't get it. I know Danny; he believes that anything that comes from New York is the best in the world. I think he'd even argue that our garbage is better than everyone else's. So I know he would say New York pizza is the best. In fact, having seen him scarf down a whole pie all on his own and go back for seconds, I know he loves New York style pizza."

Jess gave him an odd look, wondering where this questioning was going. What did pizza and who made the best matter considering everything that was going on? But it did look like Lindsay was relaxing and she couldn't fault him for that. Flack continued. "I seem to remember one day about a month ago you and I stopped for a slice while going to interview a suspect. Didn't you tell me then that you couldn't stand what people called Chicago style pizza? Something about it being too doughy for your tastes? That you'd rather have frozen pizza straight from the package than eat another slice of deep dish pizza?"

Now there was a smile flirting with Lindsay's swollen mouth. It was small and definitely one sided but it was there. "Yeah, I did."

Flack shook his head, thoroughly confused. "I don't get it. If neither of you likes Chicago style pizza, how was there an argument?"

The half smile got a little broader. "He was winding me up at the lab earlier so I figured it was payback time. I was yanking his chain trying to get him riled up. I was pretty sure attacking the value of anything New York had to offer would do the trick. Worked too. Had him about ready blow a gasket defending his New York sensibilities."

"Enough to cause him to flip out like he did?" Jess interjected. Lindsay frowned, almost taken aback to have the conversation wrenched from a lighthearted moment back to the seriousness of the attack.

"No, he'd realized what I was doing before that. We were getting ready to leave—"

"HOW CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING ASK ME THAT?" Danny's highly agitated voice floated down the hall followed by the unmistakable sound of glass breaking.

Even though Mac was with him and could handle whatever was going on, Flack knew he had to find out what was going on. He released Lindsay's hand after giving it a squeeze. He stood up and was halfway to the hallway when he glanced back to see Lindsay trying to get out of the bed. He stopped and pointed to her.

"Stay put." Seeing she was about to protest, he shook his head. "That's not open to debate. Put both those feet on the floor before the doctor releases you and I swear to you I'll see to it that you are wearing those restraints next. Jess?" His voice was sharp and brooked no argument.

"I'll stay with her." Jess promised and then Flack was out of the room. Lindsay slumped dejectedly back against the bed. The homicide detective took Flack's spot on the stool, looking at Lindsay in sympathy. "He's worried about you."

Lindsay gave a half-hearted shrug, more concerned about what was going on with Danny than anything else. Then it almost seem to hit her the way Flack's interaction with her and his concern might have looked to the newcomer. Lindsay-hell, everyone who worked with the two homicide detectives- had seen the flicker of attraction between the two, and Lindsay didn't want Jess to get the wrong idea. "He's just a friend, you know."

A soft smile teased Jess's lips. "Which one? Don or Danny?"

"Don." Lindsay answered without hesitation and then blushed slightly. "Well, both really but just in case you were thinking there might be something else between Flack and –"

Jess laughed, the sound a welcome change to the stress of the afternoon. Here Lindsay was lying in a hospital bed after a vicious assault and she was worried that Jess might be jealous of her and Flack. "No, I know. Actually when I first started with at the department, I thought there might be. After what was probably my second shift at the 12, we were headed to Sullivan's after work one night. I got there a little after most everyone else. The only one from the lab I'd worked with at that point was Hawkes and Danny, more of the latter than the former. Whenever we weren't talking about the case, Danny kept talking about Montana and I couldn't help but think the guy needed to change states if he was so caught up with Montana for some reason. But that's off the point. So I walk in to Sullivan's and see Don with his arms wrapped around the waist of this beautiful woman trying to mess up her shot at the pool table. He and she both seemed to be having a great time and I thought, 'Figures, a great looking guy like him would already have a girlfriend.' Then Danny came in behind me and it didn't take me long to realize that Montana wasn't the state but the girl at the pool table and that Don didn't have a chance with her even if he had wanted to."

Seeing that the other woman still looked worried, Jess realized Lindsay was worried about more than just whether or not she was jealous of the camaraderie that existed between her and Flack. She continued. "I'm sure Danny is okay. Don and Mac can handle it. As for this afternoon, whatever happened, we'll get to the bottom of it before it goes too far."

Lindsay shook his head. "I wish I believed it was going to be that easy."

The two fell silent for a moment; Jess hadn't worked with Lindsay enough to know much about the transplant from Montana. They had talked a few times and she knew enough to know that they both had been only girls in a family full of boys. It was an instant connection that made working together on crime scenes almost seamless but didn't help much in the current situation. Then Jess spied the gym bag where it had been dropped outside of the cubicle, and figured out a way to bridge the silence. She quickly retrieved it. "I think I've understood that you are going to be released shortly. While it's just the two of us in here, I could help you get dressed if you'd like. I can imagine it'll be a little difficult one handed."

"Thanks."

Jess opened the bag and pulled out a t-shirt, sweatpants and a change of underwear. Having sprained her own wrist once as a teenager, Jess knew it that while the other woman might could manage the rest of the things on her own, it would be almost impossible for Lindsay to fasten the bra without assistance. She closed the curtain securely and then returned to the bed as Lindsay eased the gown that was being used as a robe off her shoulders. They managed to get the sweatpants on without any difficulty but then Lindsay needed help pulling the other gown off. Jess gave her a hand and winced at the fresh injuries prominently making their presence known. "Looks painful."

"Feels painful." Lindsay agreed. Then she saw Jess's eyes lingering on the old bruises on her left shoulder. Almost irrationally since Jess hadn't said a word about them, she felt herself get irritated and wished she'd turned down the kind offer to help her get dressed. "Don't ask about them. Nothing happened."

Jess nodded and helped Lindsay fasten her bra before handing her the t-shirt. As she had told Don earlier, they didn't know their story until Lindsay was ready to tell it and they shouldn't jump to conclusions. However, the defensive posture, Lindsay had immediately taken suggested there was more to the story. "The thing is bruises like that don't just appear. So no matter how much you want to convince people that nothing happened; it's obvious something did. People are going to be concerned, especially after what happened today. And when people are concerned, they almost naturally assume the worse."

"They don't need to. One has nothing to do with the other; other than the fact that the universe seems to be sending me one crapstorm after another. It's not like I asked for any of this."

Jess smiled slightly. "That's the thing about crapstorms though. They seldom come because we ask for them. Today has got to be the crapstorms of all crapstorms too. Tell me those old bruises didn't happen as the result of a crapstorm that deserves to rot under a jail somewhere and I'll let it go at that. But just remember, you aren't alone. You've got a whole lab of friends who care about you enough to want to help. You've got to be willing to let them though."

Too tired and sore to pull on the socks and tennis shoes she kept in her gym bag, Lindsay didn't protest as Jess moved to the end of the stretcher to do it for her. Lindsay closed her eyes, also too tired and sore to discuss the bruises any more. Fortunately, Jess didn't press her.

"Everybody decent in there?" Dr. Terry's voice filtered through the curtain. Jess stepped over and pulled the curtain open to let him in. "Trying to hide from me, Lindsay?"

She shook her head, not bothering to open her eyes to look at him. She didn't really want to explain her presence in Danny's cubicle once again. It was beginning to make her feel like she'd done something wrong when she knew she hadn't. "Are you letting me go home?"

"No." Her eyes flew open at his negative response. He smiled. "I'm letting you go to Detective Taylor's spare bedroom, remember? I don't want you to try staying by yourself until the pain subsides enough that you aren't needing the strong painkillers, a few days at the least. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?"

"Most of the time about a five but if I try to move it jumps up to about twenty." Lindsay couldn't see anything to gain by lying.

The doctor nodded. "Sounds about right. Unfortunately, the painkillers I'm giving you here and the one that I'm leaving you a prescription for won't fully alleviate the pain but it should make it bearable. You still have to do your part by taking it easy; if moving around causes worse pain, try to avoid moving around too much. Can I trust you to do that?"

She nodded. "You've met Mac; do you see him letting me do anything else?"

The doctor laughed out loud. "Point taken. Follow up with your primary physician in a about a couple of weeks; sooner if the pain gets too much."

"Did I hear my name being taken in vain?" Mac stepped around Dr. Terry to enter the cubicle. He regarded Lindsay carefully, trying to gauge how she was really feeling both emotionally and physically. Once of the first things he'd learned about the newest member of his lab was that she could skillfully mask pain, fatigue, and sometimes even her emotions almost to the point of collapsing before anyone noticed something was wrong.

She'd only been at the lab a few weeks the first time he'd discovered the need to keep an extra eye on her and to not just take her word on how she was feeling. He'd known she was pulling over time working on a big case; they all had been breaking their necks trying to solve the case before a serial killer found his next victim. He'd seen her at what he'd thought was her sixteenth hour at work and asked her if she was okay. She's smiled that sweet smile that always seemed to draw him in as her guinea pig for reconstructions and promised that the mug of coffee she was drinking was giving her a second wind and that she was fine. She had seemed so convincing that he'd believed her and continued with what he was doing. It was about four hours later when Stella had returned from a much needed nap for herself that he discovered that Lindsay had been working nonstop for almost twenty six hours without anything more substantial than a brief coffee break. He'd gone looking for her to insist that she go home for some sleep. He'd found her in the reconstruction lab almost drunkenly swinging different weapons at a pig to check for tool markings. Even though she'd been half asleep on her feet, he'd still had to fight her to take a break and even then the best he could do short of having her personally escorted to her house and handcuffed to her bed was getting her to take a brief nap on his couch.

After that, he'd started paying more attention to her physical limits since she was willing to prove she didn't know them herself. It was the same reason why he'd assigned her to the lab processing evidence in the Darius case the year before despite the fact that he'd known it had infuriated her. Though they had never had a conversation about it, he knew from her personnel file about the tragedy that had occurred ten years earlier. She would have never admitted that the bloodbath of dead teenagers the apartment had been left in would be too much for her but he'd been unwilling to put her through that trauma if he could help it.

He could see that currently she was at the end of her rope and needed to get settled soon before she crashed completely. He frowned at her. 'I seem to recall telling you to stay put and follow doctor's orders."

"I did." Lindsay argued grumpily, forced once more to defend her actions. "Dr. Peterson ordered me to come see Danny. I didn't protest but it's not like I sneaked out of my room or anything. Speaking of, where is he? Flack said you took him to the bathroom. We heard him shout and then something broke. What happened?"

"Flack is escorting him to his room upstairs." Mac explained evasively. "Dr. Peterson arranged for the transfer. Let's get you to my place so you can follow doctor's orders to take it easy."

"I wanted to say goodbye to him. Make sure he realizes I don't blame him." Lindsay knew she sounded petulant but didn't really care. She'd blame the pain and the painkiller if questioned about it.

"It wouldn't have been good timing. If Dr. Peterson okays it, I'll bring you to see him later." Mac promised patiently. Her almost childish reactions were further convincing him that she needed a comfortable bed and several hours of uninterrupted sleep.

"But what happened? Why was he upset again? Did you discover what happened?" Lindsay pressed. Mac sighed. He knew the truth would only upset her more and he didn't want to add to her distress, not to mention he was still bothered by Danny's reaction in the break room upon learning about the steroids in his blood.

"We'll talk about it later. Is she ready to go, Dr. Terry?" Dr. Terry promised to get the nurse in for the final pain shot and, after leaving the paperwork and prescription with Mac, left to get her. Lindsay frowned. Mac was keeping something from her and it scared her to think what it could be.

"Mac, tell me now. Is he really okay. Did something else happen?"

"Lindsay, please." His tone was exceedingly sharp and he cursed inwardly when he saw her flinch and almost physically cringe away. He carefully modulated his tone, having forgotten that she had a very real reason to feel skittish. "I'm sorry. Please, I promise I'll fill you in later but here is not a good place. Angell, will you wait with Lindsay while I bring the truck around?"

Jess nodded. She too was curious about what had happened but after he had snapped at Lindsay, she wasn't about to dare to ask. He left to pull the truck around just as the nurse came in with the shot and a wheelchair. The homicide detective looked away as the nurse administered the injection; she'd never been fond of needles whether they were intended for her or someone else. She glanced back as she realized the nurse had finished and was helping Lindsay into the wheelchair. It was only after the nurse left the cubicle that Jess noticed that Lindsay's lower lip was trembling and that tears had filled her eyes. She muttered a few choice words under her breath at Mac for speaking so harshly. She knew today had been just as hard on Mac as it had anyone else but he should have realized the last thing Lindsay needed after what happened were harsh words or raised voices.

"Don't take it personally, Lindsay. He didn't mean to sound so angry."

Lindsay nodded but her trembling lip became a full quiver and the tears started cascading down her cheeks as if she couldn't get control of them. "I know." Her shaky voice didn't match the certainty of her words. She took a deep breath, cringing at the pull on her ribs. "I'm okay." She tried again, but her emotional state was anything but.

Jess nodded. She was sure the Lindsay was anything but okay but didn't press her. If Lindsay was anything like she was - and from the few times they'd had for sharing in their personal lives, she knew they had similar upbringings- stemming the tide of tears was easier said than done. It took a lot to make Jess cry but once she did it took a lot more to get her to stop. The tears insisted on continuing until they had run their course. It was a character trait that drove her father and brothers crazy because they wanted to fix whatever was wrong and sometimes there was simply nothing that could be fixed. Instead of questioning her further, she pulled a few tissues from a box and pressed them into Lindsay's hand. The other woman didn't say anything but the look in her eyes showed the gratitude she felt that Jess wasn't pressing her for an explanation.

Lindsay kept her head bowed so as not to draw the stares of anyone else as Jess pushed the wheelchair toward the exit. Mac was just pulling up to the entrance as they arrived. He got out and ran around to the passenger side to open the door. He turned back to help Lindsay into the Avalanche and saw that she was crying. His eyes widened and he looked at Jess. "What happened?"

"You happened." Understanding that he was stressed was one thing, letting him off the hook for upsetting Lindsay was another.

"Shit." Mac muttered almost under his breath. In his attempt to avoid distressing her further, it seemed that he had done just the opposite. He knelt down so that he could look Lindsay in the eye. It wasn't easy because the woman kept trying to avoid his gaze. Finally he reached up and gently cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. This time, he made sure his tone was soft and gentle, much like he would use to talk to a traumatized victim at a crime scene. "Lindsay, I shouldn't have snapped like I did. I didn't mean to upset you. I really am sorry."

"Just .. worried… 'bout….Danny." Lindsay's words were broken up by her sobs. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her gently toward him for a hug.

"I know." Mac assured her, thinking she was explaining her earlier questions. For a moment she looked up at him expectantly, a painful hiccup stopping her tears. He kissed her forehead and then pulled back. "For now, though, let's worry more about you. Let's get you in the truck."

Her face fell once again as she stood up from the wheelchair. She swayed and Mac made sure he had a secure arm around her waist as he practically lifted her into the passenger seat. He fastened her seatbelt around her and then closed the door. Before going around to the driver's side, he turned to Jess.

"Flack wanted me to tell you that he would be down as soon as Danny is settled in his room."

She nodded, wanting to ask if everything was okay but not wanting to upset him further. Instead, she handed him Lindsay's gym bag. "Take it easy with her tonight. I don't know how much more she can handle."

Mac promised and went around to the driver's side. He pulled away from the hospital without another word, thinking Lindsay would drift off to sleep once more. Her tears hadn't subsided after his apology but he didn't press the issue; if anyone was entitled to a crying jab after the events of the day, it was Lindsay. Besides, he'd learned the hard way with Claire that an apology didn't immediately absolve a hurt no matter how much he wanted it to. About halfway to his apartment, he glanced over to see that she was asleep; either having cried herself into exhaustion or giving in to the sedation properties of the painkiller. Either way, Mac wasn't going to complain. He made one stop along the way, swinging into a drive-thru pharmacy in order to get her pain pills filled. Once that had been taken care of, he continued to his apartment.

Now that that chore was taken care of, he could concentrate on the next problem he could foresee. Even if Lindsay woke up once he parked, she was too drugged out on the painkiller to be expected to walk up to his apartment. She was so light that carrying her was no problem but that would still be tricky if he was forced to park down the street in the parking garage his apartment shared with two other neighborhood buildings. But fate decided to smile on him as he turned onto the street for his apartment building. There was a rare parking spot open on the street right in front of the building. He parked before someone else could snatch the spot out from under him.

Going around to her side of the truck, he gathered her gently into his arms, happy that he was able to do so without waking her. In another stroke of fortune, another resident, an elderly woman who lived down the hall from him was going in at the same time. Normally, he'd be the one to hold the door open for her but didn't protest her opening the door for him just this one. She expressed concern when she saw Lindsay's injuries and Mac gave her a brief explanation. The elderly neighbor shook her head in sympathy and took his keys from him so he wouldn't have to juggle with the door while holding Lindsay. He thanked her for her help and she elicited a promise from him to call on her if he or the poor dear needed anything while she was recovering.

Once inside the apartment, Mac carried Lindsay to the spare bedroom, glad that he always kept clean sheets on the bed in case of an emergency. He laid her down and was about to cover her up when her eyes fluttered opened. She looked up at him dazedly.

"Please just tell me how bad?" She mumbled almost incoherently.

"How bad is what?" Mac whispered back, hoping she'd fall right back to sleep.

"What happened to Danny earlier. Must have been bad if you didn't want to talk about it."

That's when Mac realized what she'd been trying to tell him earlier and he just hadn't paid attention. She knew him just as well as he knew her. She'd wisely taken his silence and bad mood over the situation to realize the news wasn't good. It hadn't been his sharp tone that had upset her but worry over what else had happened to Danny. He sat down next to her on the bed and gently brushed a strand of honey curl out of her face. "We got the blood tests back."

One eye was almost completely swollen shut and the other was losing a battle with sleep, but Lindsay tried hard to force it to stay open. As soon as she tried to sit up, Mac gently pressed her back down. "Rest, remember? Yes, Danny was under the influence of drugs when he attacked you, but until we can determined how the drugs got in his system, he's not completely in the clear."

"Want to help." Lindsay insisted but her fight against the drugged exhaustion was almost a lost battle.

"I know you do but you also know you can't work this case even if the doctor had cleared you for duty. Now, get some sleep. That's an order." Mac really didn't have to issue the command because she had already drifted back to sleep. Making sure the covers were comfortably tucked around her, he eased off the bed and left the bedroom.

He pulled out his phone and hit one of the speed dial numbers. It only took a moment for the other party to answer. "Sheldon, It's Mac." The former ME immediately asked about Lindsay. "She's okay, sleeping for now. I need you to do something for me without asking too many questions. Go to Danny's apartment; Flack will meet you there to let you in. Go through the place with a fine tooth comb. Collect every pill bottle you can find. I don't care if it's an aspirin bottle; if it has pills in it, bag and tag it."

"_I take it the tox report showed something."_

"Yeah, Steroids. Sheldon, I need this kept quiet for now. This doesn't look good for Danny but we don't know the full story. If the steroids are in his apartment, I need to know about it."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Jess was absently flipping through a magazine when Flack finally emerged into the waiting room at the ER. She stood, meeting him halfway. Without a thought to how it might look, she gave him a comforting hug. If anything, he looked even more upset than when he left to go check on Danny and Mac.

"Ready for that Porterhouse?" She offered gently. His own arms closed around her, grateful for her presence and her compassion.

"Just about. I gotta meet Sheldon at Danny's to let him in first."

Jess nodded. "Tox screen came back positive for drugs didn't it? Steroids?"

Flack looked surprised. Mac had wanted the information kept quiet and only had told him because he needed to know why Hawkes was being sent to Danny's apartment. Had Mac filled Lindsay and Jess in as well? Seeing his surprise, Jess explained.

"No, Mac didn't say anything. He was obviously unhappy about something; enough so that he was pretty snappish toward Lindsay. Whatever the tox results showed couldn't have completely exonerated Danny. Besides, I've worked a few cases where someone flipped out in a 'roid rage. It's not pretty but explains the sudden transformation of Danny's normal personality. The only part of it that doesn't make sense is that Messer doesn't strike me as the type to use performance enhancers. Usually that's a problem for athletes."

"Danny used to play minor league baseball." Don explained. The two walked out of the ER toward the parking garage. "Plus, the decision was made that since the CSIs are put in field situations, they have to pass the new physical fitness requirements the department implemented. I wouldn't think Danny would be stressed about it but who knows. Maybe he knew nothing about the drugs and somebody slipped them to him without him knowing about it.. Hell, I don't know. I do know from the levels in his bloodstream that it wasn't an one off occurrence."

"Makes sense to check his apartment and other obvious places of ingestion first." Jess agreed as they made their way to the level she'd parked on. They stopped at Jess's car. She regarded him seriously. "Danny is your best friend so I know this is getting to you but I get the idea there's something more. Something else is bothering you. What was the glass we heard breaking earlier?"

"Coffee pot vs. wall collision. Wall won. Mac was questioning Danny about possible ways he could have gotten the steroids and Danny wasn't happy about it. Jess, Mac said Danny looked ready to punch him but threw the coffee post instead. Hot coffee splashed all over his hand- had to have hurt like hell, but Mac said Danny didn't even react to it. I swear to you, Jess, when I got there he didn't even look like himself. I got a bad feeling this isn't going to go well for him at all."


	7. Chapter 6

Author's Notes: I had just about finished this chapter last night but then came back this morning to finish it and ended up adding to the parts I'd already written. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 6

"Is it just me or does this seem completely wrong?"

Flack could only nod as the former ME's question echoed his own sentiments perfectly. He hadn't protested when Mac had asked him to meet Sheldon Hawkes at Danny's apartment. After all, as Danny's best friend, he was the one with the spare key to the apartment. Add to that the understanding that Mac wanted to keep the information about the nature of Danny's attack quiet until they had a better idea whether Danny had intentionally taken the steroids that caused him to flip out or if he had been dosed without his knowledge, it made sense to limit the number of people involved. Still, he almost felt like he was betraying the intentions Danny had ever had for giving him the extra key to his apartment in the first place.

"If we can find a way to clear Danny, it'll be worth it in the long run." Flack muttered as he put the key in the lock and turned it. Going through his friend's belongings was the last thing he wanted to be doing right then. He'd much rather have taken Jess up on her offer for supper but it helped to know that she was waiting for him to call and say he was through. Instead of the steaks he'd jokingly asked for at the hospital, she was going to pick up a couple of burgers and fries and meet him back at his apartment later. He liked Jess a lot. Had since the day she'd started at the 12. He wasn't sure yet if he liked her to the same extent that he knew Danny liked Lindsay but he was willing to find out. At the very least, currently she made sense in a world that seemed to have spun out of control suddenly. He needed that stability and would need it more once he was finished here.

"Is this even legal?" Sheldon protested once more as he stood in the threshold of the apartment door. When Mac had called him, he'd been so stunned by the news that he hadn't thought of the legality of searching his friend's place. While they hoped to find nothing, what if they did? Would it even be admissible in court if it came to that? Was this somehow Mac's twisted way of protecting Danny from prosecution? Sheldon didn't like to think so. Mac was a by-the-books kind of person. Every I dotted and every T crossed; he wouldn't jeopardize the integrity of the lab just to protect one of his own. "We don't have a search warrant. I get the argument that we don't need one for the lab later since it's ultimately the property of NYPD anyway but this is Danny's private residence."

"We don't but we had verbal permission from Danny to search the place." Flack explained. Danny's tone had been bitter and full of betrayal when he'd flung the words at Mac but Flack had heard them. Bitter or not, it would stand in court if anything was said.

"_If you are so sure I'm capable of something like that, prove it. Search my apartment, my locker. Fuck, search whatever you want. You won't find anything because I didn't take the damn drugs."_

The two men stepped into Danny's apartment. While it wasn't the pig sty one might expect a bachelor pad to be, the lived in unkempt appearance of the apartment made it clear that Danny hadn't expected visitors. Several empty cartons from the take-out Chinese place close to Danny's and a couple of empty beer bottles littered the coffee table, suggesting that Danny preferred to eat in front of the TV. Several days worth of mail was strewn on the entry way table, apparently dumped there as Danny came in each day. Sheldon shook his head. "As soon as I get home, I'm going to clean everything up. My place is ten times worse than this; I'd hate for there to be a reason for someone to have to search my apartment like this. No telling what people would say."

Flack had to agree. Then he stopped to consider his own apartment. Jess would be there in a couple of hours; how bad did it look and would he have time to straighten up before she arrived? He was pretty sure he was okay; his dad had been by for supper two nights ago and he'd made sure the apartment looked neat for him. He'd been too busy with work since then to make much of a mess. "Any idea what we're supposed to look for?"

Sheldon nodded, opening his kit and pulling out several evidence envelops. "Any kind of medication bottle. Permission or not, I hope Danny understands we have no choice but to go through his things."

Thinking about Lindsay's poor beaten face, Flack wasn't quite as concerned about whether Danny liked it or not if it got them answers. "He'll understand."

Hawkes recognized the tone in Flack's voice and knew he'd been at the hospital. "Lindsay okay? I know it's bad; Stella doesn't get upset that easy and she was pretty shaken when she got back. Mac tried to assure us that Lindsay would be okay but I could tell he was pretty upset about it as well."

Flack sighed, deciding it would be bad form to steal a beer from Danny's fridge. He could use a drink right then. "Mac's right, she's going to be okay but she's pretty far from it right now. I don't know Doc. I've seen injuries worse than hers before. Hell, I'm a homicide detective; I see dead people on a daily basis. It's different though when it's someone you know. I looked at her face and thought if someone, even a friend like Danny, ever did something like that to my sister, I'd rearrange his face. Even his own mother wouldn't be able to recognize him. I'm pretty sure any one of Lindsay's brothers would do the same to Danny if they were here. I almost want to do the honors for them. But I can't."

Sheldon opened a bottle of ibuprofen and gave it a sniff. It looked and smelled normal but he recapped it and put it in an evidence bag. He looked over at Flack. "Why not? I'm pretty sure Stella wants to hurt him for every single bruise she photographed."

"I want to say it's because I believe with all my heart that Danny is completely innocent in all of this. It was easier when we thought it could be a one time dosing but this is pretty big. As much as I want to trust that Danny wouldn't take drugs, it's harder to figure out how someone would be able to trick him into taking that much of a drug without his knowledge. As his friend, I feel guilty about that but at the same time as a friend, I owe it to him to hold him accountable for his actions. Even if he was completely ignorant of the drugs, I can't say it totally excuses his behavior at the diner. I seriously believe he's waiting for someone to hold him accountable; he wants someone to hurt him as badly as he hurt Lindsay."

"So what's stopping you?" Sheldon asked steadily bagging everything he could find that matched what Mac had asked for. There wasn't much in the way of medications in the kitchen drawer that Danny had dubbed his medicine cabinet. He wasn't surprised. Danny wasn't much for taking medicines, preferring to suffer through most things. It was perhaps easier for him to stay neutral in the case. He hadn't seen Lindsay; he'd barely even gotten to see the pictures because Stella was guarding them carefully to protect Lindsay's privacy. He also hadn't seen the video; after talking to Adam and seeing the younger man's reaction to it, he hoped he never had to. But that didn't stop him from understanding how everyone who had felt. He could remember the anger he'd felt after Kara had been raped. Nothing would have stopped him from killing the man who had hurt her so terrible had he been caught.

"Lindsay. I don't get it, Doc. Her face looks like it was used a freakin' punching bag. She has every right to either hate him or be scared to death of him but she doesn't and she's not. If she doesn't blame him for what happened then how can the rest of us?"

"Right now she doesn't blame him." Sheldon qualified. "We all know the two of them have feelings for each other. She probably can't believe he would be capable of inflicting the kind of damage he caused her. I can only imagine that trusting in his innocence is like a protection for her against what happened emotionally. What will happen if for some reason we discover he willingly took the steroids?"

Flack didn't have an answer as they made their way into Danny's bedroom. Sheldon checked the bathroom first but came up empty. Apparently Danny didn't believe in keeping medicine in the bathroom. Then he moved toward the night stand next to the bed.

"I had friends in college that got messed up with steroids." Sheldon confided. "Smart guys who just wanted to have an edge on making the team. They didn't believe they were hurting themselves or anyone else. Some of them even got their supply directly from one of the coaches. I know Danny is smart enough to know better but so were these guys. Some of them were even med students like myself. They sat through the lectures about the dangers of anabolic steroids, took their notes, aced the test, and went back to their dorms for their next pill. Never blinked an eye."

There wasn't a whole lot in the drawer, mostly different varieties of foiled wrapped condoms, but then he saw a short, fat orange prescription bottle. He pulled it out with a grim expression on his face. It was about three quarters of the way full of large white pills. The label on the outside didn't have any of the normal prescribing information usually found on a prescription. No name of the pharmacy, prescribing doctor, or patient. No dosing information. Not even really the name of the drug. Just two small, potentially damaging words.

"Flack." Sheldon's voice was grim. The homicide detective looked up, frowning as he saw the bottle. He wasn't aware of any prescription that Danny was supposed to be taking.

"What is it?"

The former ME shook his head. "All it says on the label is 'Coach's Special.' Dammit, Flack, this may be it."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI NY -

Mac lowered the heat to the pot of soup he was warming on the stove. Lindsay had been asleep for a couple of hours and he expected she'd be waking up any time now. He wasn't sure if she'd be hungry but knew it was important to keep something on her stomach if she was taking the stronger painkillers. He'd settled on soup knowing that it would be easier for her to eat with her facial injuries.

He hadn't hesitated to offer her the spare bedroom while she was healing; he'd have done the same for any of his people in the same situation. If someone wanted to make a big deal out of it, then that was their problem. Those that knew him and Lindsay best wouldn't think twice about it.

"NO! Don't!" Lindsay's scream from the spare bedroom pierced the otherwise silence of the apartment.

Immediately, Mac tore toward the bedroom even though he knew Lindsay couldn't be in physical danger. Was it any wonder after what had happened earlier that nightmares would plaque her sleep? It was another reason, he'd been quick to offer the room. After suck a traumatic experience, no one should have to face those kinds of dreams alone. Throwing open the door to the spare bedroom, Mac flicked the switch to bathe the room in light. Lindsay was tossing and turning in the bed, sweat beaded up on her forehead, the blanket he'd covered her with all twisted around her. She was whimpering now but still asleep.

"Don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me." Her muttered words broke his heart. He'd known it was asking too much to think the young woman had come through the level of violence she'd endured without it affecting her emotionally as well. She could deny being affected all she wanted but her subconscious knew the truth.

Sitting on the bed beside her, he gathered her gently in his arms, wanting to wake her from the nightmare but comfort her at the same time. "Lindsay, it's okay. You're safe. Wake up, Sweetheart."

She did so slowly, her body shaking from the exertion. Mac continued to hold her, offering what he hoped were comforting reassurances. Though he had wanted to be there for her, truthfully he'd never been good at handling nightmares; it was easier for him to battle real enemies rather than demons that attacked in sleep. Even now, he was holding her more to keep her for thrashing about in her dream like state and hurting herself worse than with any real sense of offering comfort. But at least she wasn't going through it alone.

"Mac?" He pulled back at her soft query, knowing she was now awake.

He smiled at her. "Better?"

She nodded ever so slightly. She remembered leaving the hospital and could vaguely remember waking up as Mac had put her to bed but she couldn't understand why he was holding her right then. "What happened?"

"Nightmare." Mac supplied succinctly. "No surprise after everything happened."

Lindsay didn't contradict him but the nightmare had nothing to do with what had happened at the diner. At least not Eduardo's Diner. She would almost welcome a change from the nightmares that had been plaguing her for the last few weeks. The same nightmares that had plagued her sleep for almost two years after the shooting at a different diner before disappearing completely. The nightmares that one phone call had brought back fresh and even worse than those original ones had been. She only hoped she hadn't said anything incriminating in her sleep. Living alone, she didn't know if the dreams that wrenched her from a peaceful sleep night after night had triggered a verbal reaction.

"You don't have to worry about Danny hurting you again. It's not going to happen. We're going to get to the bottom of what happened."

Relieved that it didn't appear that she'd given any of the real demons haunting her away in her sleep, Lindsay nodded. She eased out of his embrace and didn't protest as he readjusted the pillows giving her a more comfortable way to sit up. "I know. I also know I can't work the case but can you please tell me what the tox screen showed? Maybe if I know what he was drugged with, I can help you figure out when and how he was drugged. Was it a psychotropic drug? It's the only thing I can think of that would cause such a personality change."

Mac didn't want to tell her; she'd been through enough and didn't need to hear there was a very real chance that Danny had brought about his own downfall by making poor choices. Still, he'd learned his lesson from earlier. If he said nothing or tried to put her off, he'd only succeed in upsetting her more.

"Steroids."

Lindsay frowned and he could practically see the wheels turning in her head. Finally she answered. "Beans World."

Mac's brow furrowed in confusion. What was she talking about? Seeing he didn't understand, she continued. "Beans World is the coffee shop on the corner near Danny's apartment. He's addicted to their coffee and biscotti. He eats there everyday for breakfast whether he's working or not. It's the only place I know of that he's around regularly enough for someone to slip him steroids to the extent needed to cause a 'roid rage."

Mac didn't know whether to be proud or concerned that even given the possibly damning information, Lindsay still refused to believe Danny was responsible. "We'll check it out if nothing pans out from our first two searches." Mac assured her. "Are you hungry? I've got vegetable beef soup heating up on the stove. It's from a can and probably nowhere near as good as what your mom probably made growing up but it's hot and it'll keep you from getting sick to your stomach from the painkiller."

"Sounds good. Can I freshen up first?"

Mac nodded and told her where to find everything including her gym bag he'd placed in the spare room. He returned to the kitchen to ladle up two bowls of the soup. He was glad she hadn't pressed him about the other searches he was having made. She joined him a couple of minutes later. She was moving slow and favoring her injuries but at least she looked more steady on her feet than she had earlier.

She gingerly eased into a chair at the table, her braced hand protectively against her sore ribs. Mac placed a steaming bowl of soup in front of her before returning to the fridge to retrieve two sodas. "I'm sorry, all I have is regular."

"That's fine." For a couple of minutes, they ate in silence but then Lindsay lowered her spoon and regarded him carefully. "Mac, where else are you searching? I've been trying to think of where else he could have been drugged but Beans World is the only place where he is daily."

Mac should have known Lindsay wouldn't have let it drop. He sighed, knowing he had to be honest with her. "His apartment and the lab."

Lindsay picked up her spoon once again and stirred her soup thoughtfully without taking a bite. Then she looked back up at Mac. "I suppose it's possible but it would be a lot harder for someone to get in there in order to drug him, especially the lab."

Mac didn't say anything but watched her carefully. He knew it was only a matter of seconds before she realized what he was implying. Her entire face turned a little grey all of a sudden and he knew it had hit her. She shook her head. "Mac, Danny might put things in his body that aren't that healthy. We both know he used to smoke and we've all been guilty of having a few too many alcoholic drinks. Cigarettes and alcohol are one thing but Danny wouldn't do drugs, not illegal ones. He cares too much about his health and his job to risk it. It doesn't make sense."

"I know. I don't want to believe it any more than you do. But we're investigators and one of the first rules of investigation is that you don't overlook the most likely reason just because you don't want to believe it can be true."

Her left hand was trembling slightly as she lifted the spoon to her lips once more. Mac wasn't sure if the cause was fatigue, pain, lingering effect of the painkiller, or just out of control emotions from the conversation. Without allowing the spoon to touch her lips, she lowered the spoon back to the bowl. Mac wanted to simply be her friend and not press her for details but he couldn't shirk his duties either.

"Lindsay, you and Danny are the only two we haven't gotten statements from. Danny doesn't seem to remember what happened. You think you are up to telling me what happened?"

She wanted to say no but perhaps Mac could see something in what happened that would help Danny rather than further incriminate him. Finally she nodded. Mac smiled. "Good, finish your soup first. You are not taking a pain pill on an empty stomach and I'm sure you're going to need something pretty soon."

They finished their meal in silence and then Lindsay allowed Mac to lead her to the couch. She cradled a decorative pillow protectively against her ribs as Mac went to retrieve a micro recorder from a drawer. He pressed the record button and encouraged her to begin when she was ready. She took a painful, shaky breath before beginning. "Lunch was normal. It could have been any other lunch we'd ever shared together. We were talking about nothing important."

She smiled a little wistfully as she remembered how wound up she'd gotten him at her assertion that New York didn't have the best pizza. He'd fallen for it hook line and sinker, insulted that she could think anything else was better. Just when she'd been sure he was about to blow a gasket and she was going to give everything away by bursting out in laughter, he'd caught on. His expression at realizing he'd been had was absolutely comical. He practically wagged a finger in her face.

"_Not nice, Montana. I ought to stick you with the rest of the evidence today for that." _

_The look she'd shot him had been one of mock incredulous. "Seriously? You are going there? You do remember you were the one giving me a hard time at the lab, don't you?"_

"_And I got hit in the nose with rubber glove for it too, remember? I have to say I was surprised; never took you for the violent type, Montana. Now I got a drawer full of other types of prophylactics that I'd much prefer to have a woman throw my way." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, his grin could only be described as shit-eating. _

_Lindsay wrinkled her nose in disgust, although she was secretly enjoying this return to banter that had always come so easily between them. A banter that had been missing since she'd dashed his hopes that they could be a couple. She'd missed it more than she could say and wished things had happened a little differently. "Yuck, too much information, Messer. We just ate, after all."_

_She started to stand and Danny reached out to capture her wrist lightly in his hand. "Where are you going, Montana? Not trying to weasel out of paying are you? You did promise."_

"_You big baby." She'd teased. "No, I'm not going to weasel out of anything; I'm just making a quick trip to the ladies room. I'll be back before the check arrives."_

_He didn't answer and didn't release her wrist. She looked at him confused. He seemed to have spaced out. Puzzled, she waved her left hand in front of his face. "Hey, Earth to Messer. I kind of need that hand back to go to the restroom. How about letting go?"_

"_BITCH!" His fist flew into her right cheek before she could move. Her head snapped back at the contact of fist to cheek. Before she could react or even process the fact that he had hit her, his booted foot swept out behind her own feet. Almost immediately she was on the floor. _

"_Danny? What the hell?" She muttered trying to pull herself up but Danny wasn't having anything to do with it as he jumped out of the booth. One boot came crushing down on the same wrist he'd just been playfully holding causing her to cry out in pain. Her eyes closed involuntarily so she didn't see his other boot coming as it caught her just under her breast bone. Her eyes flew back open amidst the stars that swam before her vision. She didn't recognize the man she thought she knew so well. It was a face as familiar to her as her own but the expression in his eyes was that of a complete stranger._

"Lindsay." Mac interrupted softly. He knew she wasn't finished and he needed to hear the rest. Needed to know what was going through her mind when she stopped the bystanders from coming to her aid. But he couldn't put her through it right then. Almost from the moment she'd started describing the attack, her whole physical demeanor had changed. Her body had stiffened and all color had drained from her face. Tears slipped down her cheeks unnoticed and her voice had grown shaky.

He was almost worried that the retelling was hurting her worse than the initial attack. He stopped the recorder and slid closer to her, taking her uninjured hand in his larger one, worried at how cold it felt.

Her good eye blinked rapidly as his voice and hand pulled her out of the memory. "I'm sorry. I can continue. Just give me a minute."

Mac shook his head. "It's okay. It can wait. I'm sorry. I should have known it was too soon."

She shifted slightly on the couch to lean into Mac's arm, taking comfort in the safety she felt there. He seemed a little surprised by the move but held her close. Her body started to relax a little now that she was out of the memory but in the place of the stiffness that had scared Mac so much was a severe case of the shakes. Mac reached behind him for a throw blanket that lived on the back of his couch for those nights he never actually made it to bed. He tucked it carefully around her, hoping to bring some warmth back into her impossibly cold body.

"Mac, I don't get it. Steroid rage is usually an over exaggeration of some sort of anger response. But Danny wasn't angry about anything. I know you said the tox screen showed elevated levels of steroids but is it possible that something else caused him to react the way he did?"

The head of the crime lab had to admit that it didn't sound like any 'roid rage he'd ever heard about. But then, nothing about this case made any sense. Finally he had to admit the truth. "I don't know."

It wasn't an answer either of them liked. As scientists, they prided themselves on finding the impossible answers but for now, this one was well hidden. Neither seemed to know what else to say so Mac settled for just holding her until her body no longer felt like a block of ice. He almost expected her to fall back to sleep. He knew Dr. Terry had given her the maximum amount of painkiller in the hospital and that on top of her injuries themselves were enough to leave her exhausted. Therefore he wasn't surprised when she drifted off to sleep in his arms.

He settled back against the couch. He contemplated moving Lindsay back to the bed but he somehow doubted that she was ready to sleep through the night and hoped that by continuing to hold her, he could help ward off the nightmares that had interrupted her sleep earlier. There was something special about Lindsay, something he'd noticed from her first day at the lab. Something infectious that drew everyone in, made you want to like her. He'd seen the connection between her and Danny almost immediately and had enjoyed watching it bloom. They in some ways reminded him of Claire and himself during their courtship days. He wanted them to work out and have the life he should still be having with Claire had 9/11 never happened.

The truth was, he'd felt his own connection with Lindsay from day one as well. A connection that had nothing to do with romance. He saw Lindsay as a protégé, someone whose skills and enthusiasm he could nurture and support. She was good at her job- all of his people were or they wouldn't remain in his lab- but she had a childlike enthusiasm that was rare in the sometimes cynical world they lived in. She was by no means a Pollyanna. Someone who believed in the good of all people would burn out much too quickly in their dark world. Still, despite all she'd seen and experienced, she had a naïveté about her that was refreshing and endearing. He hated that she was having to go through all this; would have hated to see anyone going through it but especially Lindsay. So, he held her lightly in his arms as she dozed.

Though his feelings toward Lindsay had always bordered more on paternal than romantic, he couldn't deny that he'd missed the feel of someone falling asleep in his arms on the couch. How many times had Claire fallen asleep just like this while they watched some movie, usually one of those sappy romantic movies she loved so much, on the TV? How many of those times had he continued to sit there holding her while the movie continued to play on despite the fact that he could have easily turned the channel. Knowing his arm would fall asleep under the comfortable weight of her head pressing on a nerve but not regretting a second of the time he had with her.

Though he currently could share his bed with Peyton Driscoll, he didn't think he was ready to share this level of intimacy, however much he missed it, with the beautiful ME from London. With Lindsay, it was different, probably because there wasn't that romantic aspect that he had to worry about. He was glad Peyton was currently in Boston for a conference. He wasn't worried the ME would be jealous of Lindsay staying with him but he didn't want to have to chance explaining his new relationship with Lindsay. It was still too new a relationship for him to be comfortable talking about to anyone, but especially those he worked with.

His phone chirped slightly, letting him know he had a new text message. He eased the phone from his holster. The message was from Sheldon and he wondered if the former ME had an answer for him from the search of Danny's apartment. He opened the message, bracing himself for what it would say. He frowned, having hoped for a different answer.

FOUND THE STEROIDS.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

It wasn't the padded cell Danny had always associated with a mental ward of a hospital. The room wasn't lined with mattresses from floor to ceiling and all around the walls. There wasn't a big observation window where headshrinkers watched and analyzed a patient's every movement. But there was no doubt that this wasn't a typical hospital room. Everything had been designed to minimize danger to the patient; things that could cause injury had been modified to be safer. The bed wasn't made of metal and while mattresses didn't line the walls, they were made of a softer material than usual walls. A camera above the door told him that his movements were being or could be monitored by someone else. But at least he wasn't strapped to a damn stretcher any more.

So he paced. Paced like an animal in his cage. That's what he'd been reduced to, right? This was his cage, and probably a better cage than what he could hope for once the 72 hours was up and he was released from this cage to the jail cell that awaited him. It was where he belonged though, right? Caged like the animal he'd apparently become, at the mercy of the stares and judgments of those who came to visit him.

He'd already seen the accusation and recrimination in the eyes of some of the hospital staff who had treated him and Lindsay. Not that he could expect any different; they didn't know him at except for the fact of what he was capable of. What hurt worse though was the similar treatment from those he thought would always have his back. Stella had been ready to tear him from limb to limb; probably would have if Mac hadn't intervened. Even though Mac and Flack had said they were helping him, he could see the disappointment in their eyes as well. The only one who hadn't looked at him like he was a horrible person was Lindsay herself but it was only a matter of time. If what they had told him was true, then there was no doubt in his mind that their friendship would never be the same.

As he paced he looked down at his hands. The damning proof of his actions had been cleaned and bandaged. After the coffee had splattered and burned his right hand in the break room, that bandage had been changed and now covered the scalding burn as well. He couldn't remember what had happened at the diner but he couldn't argue that it had happened either. Even though he wanted to with all his might. Everyone had the same story and his hands and Lindsay's face seemed to confirm it. He'd hurt the person he cared about more than anything.

How often had he dreamed of raising his hand to her? But never in violence. No, in his dreams, his hands had done many things to the beautiful woman but never painfully. He could see himself reaching up to run his fingers through her soft, silky honey curls as another hand threaded behind her to gently rest on her back pressing her body close to his. He could see the hand in her curls gently cupping the back of her head to pull her closer so that his lips could finally press against hers, tentatively at first and then with a hunger that couldn't be denied. Would she part her lips for him and allow his tongue to sweep inside her mouth to truly get explore and playfully duel with her own tongue? Or would she make him work for that sweet invitation? He could see his hands undressing her and passionately and tenderly exploring all of her womanly curves that seem to fit so perfectly against his body. He'd lost count of and would never admit aloud the number of times he'd woken from a sound sleep from dreams that started that way and ended in a tangle of bare limbs and sweaty bodies sated from intense lovemaking. He'd wake to find his manhood still twitching from the indescribable release the erotic dream had caused A release a thousand times more satisfying and powerful than any he'd ever experienced while having actual sex with a woman. Dreams that had made him long to find out if reality with Lindsay could be as wonderful as the dream. But now he'd probably never get the chance.

He couldn't describe the feelings he had for Lindsay because he'd never felt that way for a woman in his life. His philosophy of dating had always centered on wining, dining, and then bedding a woman who captured his attention; usually in that order but not always. He wasn't really into one night stands but relationships weren't his thing either. If it didn't work out, it wasn't the end of the world. Had any other woman stood him up for a first day he would have said "Screw her" and be done with her. He didn't need to chase after some woman who didn't want to be with him. But with Lindsay it was different. He'd known from the moment he'd planned to ask her out that she wouldn't be like any other girl he'd dated. With Lindsay, dating wouldn't be about the sex but about learning more about her with the sex a wonderful addition to the prize. Even after she'd stood him up and told him she wasn't ready for dating him, he'd been willing to wait, willing to be the friend she needed until she was ready for more. From what he could remember about the day, it seemed like today his patience was finally about to be rewarded. And he'd screwed it up.

He'd hit her. Not just a one time "oops, it'll never happen again" accident but punch after kick after hit that there was no recovering from. Sure, the bruises would fade and the bones would heal but the trust? No, there was no way she'd could forgive him for what he'd done. No way he could forgive himself. It didn't matter the reason, the outcome was the same. He'd allowed something or someone to turn him into a man he'd always swore he'd never be. And if he'd understood Stella correctly it wasn't the first time Lindsay had been hurt. He'd sworn to Stella that it hadn't been him, but could he really be sure? He couldn't remember the violence he'd rendered against her today; had there been other times he'd blocked out his hands taking a control he'd never want to give them?

Steroids. He'd seen fellow athletes go down that road during college and then later in the minors. He's also seen the effects of such drug use as well. The performance enhancing benefits aside, the side effects were too grisly to imagine. There was no way he'd do that to himself, not back in his days as a baseball player whose life's work depended on his ability to perform and definitely not now when his job depended on passing every drug tests

Still, he couldn't discount the test results that said he had. While logically, he knew that Mac had no choice but to ask him if he'd been using steroids to prepare for the physical fitness test, it hadn't lessened the hurt he'd felt that Mac hadn't trusted him. He and Mac had differed on matters plenty of time but in the end, he'd always known that Mac had his back when it really matter. But apparently not this time.

So ultimately it would be up to him to figure out how he might have ingested the steroids. His patterns were pretty varied so it limited his exposure to prolonged poisoning but it should make identifying the source easier. The only place that came readily to mind was his morning stop at Beans World for a double espresso and chocolate biscotti. Still, he didn't see how it could be the source. The design of the coffee shop ensured that there was always an audience when the coffee was made that would eliminate the ability anyone had of slipping something in the espresso. He also handpicked his own biscotti each day so there was no way someone could anticipate which one he would choose before hand.

Then his mind drifted to the one other almost daily indulgent in his life and his heart almost skipped a beat. If his fears were correct, then he wasn't the only one who could be in danger. He glanced up at the camera and hoped someone was watching.

"Hey you out there. Someone get in here. I need to make a phone call. It's a matter of life and death."


	8. Chapter 7

Author's Notes: I went back in to Chapter 4 and fixed my misnomer of Lindsay. I guess I'm so accustomed to calling her Lindsay Messer that I forgot I was writing pre-wedded Lindsay. Thanks Afrozenheart412 for pointing it out to me. Here's the next chapter. I appreciate everyone's comments and hope you continue to enjoy the ride.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 7

"Here you go, that should warm you up." Mac handed Lindsay a mug of steaming hot chocolate, making sure she had a good hold on it before releasing his own grip. She was curled comfortably on his couch with the blanket still wrapped around her legs and he was now in his recliner. She'd been embarrassed when she woke up thirty minutes earlier to find that she'd been asleep in his arms for almost an hour. Embarrassed that she'd falling asleep on her boss, even more embarrassed that there was a wet spot on his shirt that suggested that she'd drooled on him in her sleep. He had assured her that it was okay and had even gone and changed his shirt just to make her feel better. Then he'd fixed hot chocolate for her and coffee for himself.

"You're good at playing nurse." Lindsay commented as she blew on the hot liquid before taking a tentative sip. Mac smiled grimly.

"Sad to say I've had my unfair share of practice. You could call my spare bedroom the Mac Taylor home for injured officers. After Flack was released from the hospital after the explosion, he stayed here for a week or two until he recovered enough to be by himself. He could have had his dad or sister come stay with him but they had already practically suffocated him while he was in the hospital and he was afraid of what they'd do if they got him home alone. In fact, there's probably still a chair in the bathroom in that bedroom from when he wasn't strong enough to stand long enough to get a shower. Feel free to use it yourself later if you don't feel too steady. The heat from the shower would probably help."

"Thanks. I was thinking a shower would feel great but wasn't sure how I'd manage on my own. And no matter how helpful and nice you've been, there's no way I'm getting you to help me with that."

He laughed but it wasn't his normal warm chuckle. It might have been just the stress of everything that had happened during the day; Lindsay certainly couldn't say her own personality was her typical. But still, she'd noticed something different about him every since she woke up.

"You're hiding something from me." Lindsay accused over her steaming cup of hot chocolate.

Mac gave her a stern look as he set aside his own steaming mug. In the time she'd been awake, he hadn't let on that he'd heard from Sheldon but apparently she'd picked up on his mood. He nodded toward the yellowish bruise that was just peeking out from the edge of her t-shirt sleeve. "I could say the same about you. I know you don't want to talk about it but it's not something I'm going to be able to ignore, not as your friend and definitely not as your boss. If someone hurt you, then it's a crime and it's my job to investigate."

Lindsay set the mug on a coaster on the coffee table and self consciously tugged the blanket up a little higher to hide the evidence. She frowned. "Why does everyone think someone hurt me? I told you that I was just clumsy."

Mac shook his head. "Lindsay, one of the things that put you on my radar to be hired was you attention to detail. You notice the smallest things that end up breaking the case more times than not. You know the science of bruises better than anyone I know. That bruise was caused by a hand and not your own. That alone is enough to concern me. The fact that you seem so secretive about it downright worries me. Who are you trying to protect and why?"

Lindsay closed her eyes, as if she were afraid he'd see the truth reflected back at her. "Mac, please…"

"No, Lindsay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry this day has been so terrible for you and I'm sorry that something you obviously wanted kept secret was discovered. Those bruises look to be about three weeks old. Stella believes Danny -"

"No, God no. Danny didn't hurt me. Why would she - Okay, forget I was about to say that. What happened today with Danny was an isolated incident. Before today, he never laid a hand on me."

"Stella accused Danny of trying to get back at you for not showing up for a date." Mac's tone was completely neutral. He hoped by not sounding accusatory that she'd finally open up.

"How did Stella even know about our date? I didn't say anything to her about it and I'm pretty sure Danny wouldn't." Lindsay protested to which Mac shrugged.

"How does Stella find out about half the things she knows about? I'd accuse her of supernatural powers if that made any sense whatsoever." Mac argued. It also made him cringe inwardly as he realized it was true. Had he done or said anything that would clue Stella in on his relationship with Peyton? He'd been so careful but with Stella there was no such thing as too careful. "But that's neither here nor there. Lindsay, do those bruises have anything to do with a date that may or may not have happened?"

"With all due respect, what Danny and I do on our own time is our own business. It doesn't affect you or Stella."

Mac leaned forward in his chair, his expression serious. "You are right, what the two of you do on your own time isn't any of business. Unless, and this is a big one, if affects my lab. Like it or not, your injuries today became a crime scene and once Stella photographed those old bruises, it became lab business. No, I hope to God that Danny didn't put those bruises on your arm but your silence on the subject and stubbornness on answering our questions really gives me cause to doubt. No, I'll ask again. Who are you trying to protect?"

"Myself." Lindsay muttered lowly and then reached for her mug again. She gave herself some thinking time by taking several slow slips of the hot liquid. Her hand was shaking slightly and she hoped it wasn't obvious to Mac.

"Lindsay, if something is threatening your or giving you cause to fear for your safety, all you have to do is tell me and I can protect you. I will protect you. But I can't do that unless I know the whole truth."

Lindsay feigned great interest in her hot chocolate for a couple more minutes before placing it back on the coaster and readjusting the blanket. She played with the fringe of the blanket as she spoke, not wanting to meet Mac's gauge. "I'm not in danger; nothing like that. You remember a few weeks ago when I went undercover to help save the third thieve in the jewelry store robbery?"

Mac nodded. "I already asked Stella, she said the bruises didn't happen during the flash bomb."

"I know." Lindsay's voice was soft and he had to strain to hear it at all. "But the medic who checked me out afterward gave me a list of things to watch out for in case of a concussion or problems with my ears from the flash bomb. I was supposed to go to my own doctor if the ringing in my ears didn't subside after a couple of days or if I experienced any signs of vertigo. I brushed off the medic's concern because I didn't want anyone worrying about me. Then a couple of days after the incident, I was working in the lab when I got suddenly dizzy. I lost my balance and started to fall. My shoulder clipped one of the cabinets."

She rubbed her shoulder almost absently as if talking about the injury caused it to hurt. "I knew I was supposed to report the incident and fill out an accident report but I didn't. I was afraid if I did, you and Stella would force me to go to the doctor. If he discovered my ear drum was perforated or something like that, I'd have to take off work until it healed and the dizziness faded. I knew I'd also have everyone giving me grief about going undercover and I didn't want people questioning my ability to do my job. I knew it was wrong but I figured the bruise would fade before anyone would notice and nobody would be the wiser."

"And the handprint? I'm pretty sure the cabinets in the lab don't have hands." Mac's tone was again carefully neutral. She had no idea what he was thinking.

"My equilibrium was still off when I got off work. I probably should have taken a cab but I didn't want the extra expense so I made my way to the subway. As I was standing there waiting for the subway to reach the stop, I lost my balance again and almost fell onto the track. I would have if some good Samaritan hadn't reached out and grabbed my arm and stopped my fall. His grip was pretty tight but it was better than falling. I'm sorry I worried everyone; it's what I was trying to avoid by not saying anything in the first place. After the bruises formed I was worried that I'd get in trouble for not reporting it to start with and the longer it went unnoticed the more embarrassed I got about it. I'm sorry, Mac. Please don't be mad or disappointed."

Her story made perfect sense and he could see the events happening just as Lindsay described them. Yeah, it would breach protocol not to report an accident at work even if you didn't think it caused an injury but she wouldn't be the first person not to report a minor incident. They had all done the same thing at one time or another. Hearing her explanation should have made him feel better but it didn't. As convincing as she sounded, there wasn't a doubt in his mind that it was all a complete fabrication. He wasn't sure if he was more hurt or worried but he couldn't deny the truth. Lindsay Monroe had lied to him.

"I'm not disappointed." Now it was Mac's turn to lie. Eventually he'd have to find out the real story but before he confronted her with his theory, he wanted to have a little more proof on his side. "In the future, I'd rather you be upfront about such an incident so we can avoid the kind of speculation we've been doing today."

Lindsay nodded, still not looking up from the fringe of the blanket that had so captured her attention. A single tear ran down her cheek but she didn't bother to wipe it away. He might have said he wasn't disappointed but she could hear it in his voice anyway. She could only imagine how much worse it would sound if he knew the truth. Finally she looked up. "Did you find out something more about Danny?"

Mac nodded. "We found the source of the steroids."

She brightened. "That's great. If we know where it came from then we can figure out who gave them to him."

"Lindsay," Mac began delicately, knowing she wouldn't like what he had to say. "I don't know all the details; Stella's brining me the report when she leaves the lab, but the drugs were in Danny's apartment."

She shook her head. "I don't get it, Mac. Danny wouldn't do drugs. If he was dosed it was without his knowledge."

Mac raised his own mug to his lips before responding. "It's looking less and less likely that that's the way it happened."

Lindsay's eyes narrowed. "I don't get you, Mac. Danny's your friend but you seem willing to believe the worst about him."

"It's not about believing the worst but not assuming the outcome without the proof. You on the other head seem to refuse the idea that he was responsible."

The doorbell rang interrupting their conversation. Mac inclined his head toward the door. "Speak of the devil." Excusing himself, he went to let Stella into the apartment. She wasn't empty-handed; she was carrying several bags from a local retail store. She didn't even try to look embarrassed by Mac's inquisitive glance at her parcels.

"I knew Lindsay wouldn't have enough of what she needed in that gym bag of hers and I was pretty sure she wouldn't feel up to making a run to her apartment. I thought about just getting a list from her of what she needed and getting her key but that somehow didn't feel right to me, especially after Hawkes and Don had to search Danny's apartment today. So, I went shopping instead. A nightgown and another change of clothes, just something to get you through tonight and tomorrow."

Mac had to laugh. Leave it to Stella to use what happened today as an excuse to go shopping. She dropped the bags near the couch to carefully engulf the younger woman in a hug. She'd been forced to leave the hospital earlier before Lindsay had regained consciousness so it was a little reassuring to see her standing there in one piece, albeit a very bruised and battered one piece.

"How are you feeling, Kiddo? You had me worried."

Lindsay blushed slightly as Stella then held her at arm's length in order to get a good look at her condition. "I'm okay. A bit worse for wear but nothing that won't heal."

The derisive snort Stella made was most unladylike and it was clear she was still upset that there had been any injuries in the first place that needed to heal. "You know you could have stayed with me. I don't have as much space as Mac does but you are always welcomed."

Lindsay nodded. She appreciated the gesture and she knew the offer was sincere. However, she also was pretty sure the interrogation about what happened both today and several weeks ago would be much worse under Stella's keen and penetrating eye. She'd take her chances with Mac. "Thanks. I appreciate it but it's probably just easier for me to stay here. Mac said you were bringing over the report of how Danny got dosed with the steroids."

Stella glanced over at Mac, a little surprised that he was keeping Lindsay in the loop of things. Didn't he realize she needed the rest and not the aggravation of the mistakes their friend and co-worker had apparently made? "Yeah, I did."

She released Lindsay who then settled back on the couch gingerly and went for her messenger bag. She pulled the report out and handed it to Mac with a warning. "Sinclair has called at least ten times and stopped by three trying to get his hands on the tox report and anything else we've found. We've managed to put him off each time but it's only a matter of time before he finds out what's in the report or worse assigns the case to another lab. You aren't going to be able to protect him for long."

Mac nodded as he took the report and scanned it. "I know; I'm just hoping for long enough." His frown deepened the more he read. "Damn, this doesn't look good."

Lindsay shook her head. "What? Mac, please. What does it say?"

It went against his better judgment to show her the report but in the end she would probably know Danny better than the rest of them. Any possible feelings the two CSIs shared aside, they were partners and spent the most time together. He handed her the report. "You know anything about this?"

She took the paper in her unbraced hand and carefully read what it had to say. The more she read, the whiter her expression became until almost every ounce of color had drained from her face. It worried both Mac and Stella to see her look so pale; Stella even wrapped her arm around Lindsay's waist again in case the younger woman suddenly collapsed. She shook her head as her whole body began to tremble. The results couldn't be right because if it was then there was a similar container sitting in the bottom of desk drawer that was probably also tainted. A gift from Danny himself. "No, it's not possible. Danny promised."

"Lindsay? What did Danny promise? If you know about this, you have to tell us what you know." Mac's tone was as gentle as he could make it but it seemed to snap Lindsay back to reality. She handed the paper back to Mac using just the tips of her fingers. It was as if she found the contents of the paper more disgusting than anything she might have ever discovered from a dumpster dive for evidence.

"Why are you so quick to believe he's guilty?" Lindsay accused. "Danny is a friend; he deserves our trust and support, not these accusations."

"Hey, Linds, we do want to believe in his innocence but the evidence isn't making it easy. Did you know about this?" Stella assured her but Lindsay wasn't listening.

"There's a good explanation. I know there is. Danny doesn't do drugs." She looked at them both defiantly, as if daring them to argue with her.

Mac's cell phone rang and he almost reluctantly reached for it. "Taylor."

"_Detective Taylor, Dr. Peterson. I've just been called back to the hospital for Detective Messer."_

"Is something wrong?" Mac frowned into the phone. He wasn't sure he could handle any more problems.

"_I'm not sure yet. Apparently Detective Messer has become quite agitated. He's demanding the use of a phone claiming it's a matter of life and death. The hospital employees tried to explain to him that he's not allowed to use the phone but he's rather insistent apparently. Before they called me back, they tried sedating him but it didn't help. Finally they called me in to because their only other alternative would have been to restrain him again. I've tried to talk to him but he won't tell me what's wrong. Says he'll only talk to you. Do you think you can come back to the hospital?"_

"I'll be there as soon as I can." Mac hung up the phone. He looked from Stella to

Lindsay. He didn't want to leave the younger woman alone but he was pretty sure Stella would agree to stay until he could return. "I have to go to the hospital. Danny needs to see me."

Lindsay nodded, looking a little relieved. She knew he wouldn't have tried to hurt her or drug himself. This was all a misunderstanding. "I bet he's figured out how this all happened. You'll see; there'll be an explanation."

At Mac's unspoken question, Stella nodded. "I'll keep Linds company until you get back. Help her get comfortable and settled for the night."

Mac smiled. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Mac indicated that Stella should follow him to the door. Once he was sure Lindsay couldn't hear his whispered instructions, he continued. "Stel, I know you have a dozen or more questions about all that happened. She's at the end of her rope tonight. Don't ask or press her for any more. I don't think she can handle it and she'll shut down on us completely."

Stella nodded her understanding. "I'm furious with Danny; you know that. But I don't want any of this to be true but I can't help these doubts I have either. I just don't see how she can have that much faith in him."

Mac looked back to the younger woman who looked so lost and frail, not traits he was used to seeing from her. "She has to. Acknowledging that Danny might have been responsible for his own actions would be admitting that she might have misplaced her trust in someone she cares about very much. Right now, she can manage the pain but I don't think she'd survive that."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Come on, you stupid pricks, just one phone call. The fucking suspects I arrest on a daily basis at least get a phone call. What's the problem? I know you can hear me." Danny yelled at the camera. Damn it, where was Mac? Sure, he'd lost his temper with his friend and boss earlier but it wouldn't be the first time and he was pretty sure that Mac wouldn't hold it against him. "Fucking assholes."

He could feel the rage boiling just below the surface. A rage that would seem to give credence to the story they'd given him that he was high on steroids. But still, he knew no matter what any blood test showed, he couldn't put the sole blame for his current mood on the use of any drug no matter how it had managed to work its way into his system. He'd never been one to handle inactivity well; how many times had his family complained about his foul mood in those months after his wrist injury had ended his baseball career? He'd been forced to slow down while he recovered and contemplated where his life would go now that his dream of professional baseball was dead and buried. No, inactivity was never easy for him but this forced inactivity- being locked away whether for his own good or not, was a thousand times worse.

Still, the part of him that knew he deserved to be there; hell deserved worse truth be told would have paid his current captivity at least tolerable. He could bide his time albeit impatiently while his friends figured things out but his growing fear that the person he cared about more than his own life could also be in danger had driven him past the point of caring about anything else.

He needed to reach Mac, tell him where to look, make sure that Lindsay would be protected. Something deep in his gut convinced him of this and the longer his pleas were ignored by that stupid camera that seemed to be mocking him the worse it got. Once more he threw his body against the door hoping the dulled thud of his body hitting the soft padding would convince someone on the other side to listen to his pleas.

His strangled cry was a mixture of anger and frustration. He left the door and slumped on the mattress that served as a bed in the room. He could only hope that Lindsay's injuries would keep her out of the lab until he finally got the chance to talk to Mac. Keep her away from what he was horrifically sure was the source of the steroids.

After what seemed like hours, he heard the electronic lock on the door disengage and the door opened. He was on his feet in a second, ready to scream, beg, curse, whatever it took to get whomever was coming through the door to listen to what he needed. When it was Mac himself who stepped inside and allowed the door to close behind him, Danny was so relieved that he sank back to the mattress, unable to stand.

"Thank God, Mac. I kept telling them I needed to talk to you but they kept giving me the run around. I know you're probably pissed at me for how I reacted in the break room. I know you have to do your job and you'll have my back if possible. I've been thinking about what you said about the steroids and how I could have gotten them. You know none of us tend to eat the same thing every day so it coming that way is difficult but I suddenly remembered a source that I've been in contact with almost everyday for about three weeks now. It's got to be the source but you gotta check Montana cause I think she's probably been dosed as well."

Mac frowned. He knew for a fact that Lindsay was okay because her blood test came back negative for any drugs. Still he was curious as to what Danny was going to put the blame on. "What should we be looking for?"

"Montana's bottom drawer. Glass container; I know I probably shouldn't have but it seemed harmless. She said it was a gift from a neighbor; an apology for something but she wouldn't say what. It would have been easy to doctor; inject liquid steroids into bananas, oranges, apples, hell whatever other fruit was in there and boom, instant steroid fix without anyone being the wiser. Hell, I should have questioned her about it more. I knew she seemed a little nervous about it but I thought it had more to do with me than the gift. Shit, what have I done?"

Mac had a hard time following Danny's speech. He sat down next to him on the bed. "Danny, what fruits? What glass container? What are you talking about?"

"Dehydrated fruit. Homemade. Just check the jar and get Montana checked. Please Mac. I'm much bigger than she is; if it affected me like it did there's no telling what it's doing to her. Dammit Mac, it doesn't matter about me but please don't let anything happen to her."

Mac knew Danny's suspicions were unfounded as far as the steroids went but he had alarm bells of his own ringing at Danny's description of how the dehydrated fruit was an apology that came about three weeks earlier - the same times as the old bruises. "Did Lindsay say which neighbor?"

Danny shook his head. "I should have asked more questions but I kind of figured it wasn't my place; I don't know maybe I was afraid of the answer. She'd seemed upset at the time and I didn't want to upset her further. What kind of partner am I if I allow someone to dose her under my nose?"

Mac's interest was definitely piqued, again more for what he might learn about the bruises Lindsay had lied about than the steroids. "I assume you've seen or met some of her neighbors. Anybody that you could think of that might want to hurt Lindsay?"

With a shrug, Danny considered Mac's question, grateful that the older man was taking his concerns to heart. "I don't know. Maybe Petey. He lives a few doors down. He's just a few years younger than Montana but he acts much younger. He's as big as an ox but has the demeanor of a small child. I think Montana once said he has some form of autism. Lives with his older brother because he can't function on his own. He might have even thought he was helping her."

Big as an ox and probably as strong as one as well. Capable of leaving a handprint bruise and not understanding it was wrong. Apologizing for hurting a neighbor and friend by giving a jar of dried fruit. Mac had a sinking feeling he might be on to the true story of Lindsay's bruises. Danny reached out and touched Mac's arm.

"Mac, you look a little funny. What is it? Has Montana already gotten sick from it?"

"Danny, Lindsay is fine. Her blood was tested at the same time yours was and there was no sign of the steroids in her bloodstream. We also know where the steroids came from."

Mac's calm voice reached through the tumult of emotions running through Danny. He ran his hand over his face, missing his glasses that would have further hid what he was sure had to be red rimmed eyes. He hoped the hospital staff was taking care of his glasses during his forced stay. "She's okay? You sure? Thank God. Where? Where did you find the steroids? How did you know where to look?"

"Danny, tell me about Coach's Special."

Danny shook his head, his face slack. "Coach's Special? Why would you want to know…? Dammit, how DID you know? Fuck, Mac, you searched my apartment? You had no right. How could you? What, did you even get a search warrant?"

Danny pushed off the mattress and began to pace once again. As he neared one of the soft walls, he pulled his arm back and slammed it against the wall, not even registering the pain that even the slight padding on the wall caused his already battered fist. Then he twisted and threw his body against the wall, sliding down to the floor and covering his head with his bandaged hands.

Mac didn't move from his spot on the mattress. "You gave me permission to search."

Danny looked up at him with a resigned glare. "I didn't think you'd actually do it. Who? Who did it? Was it you? I know you had to have gotten Flack involved; he's the only one with a key to my place unless you got my parents involved. Shit, please tell me you haven't told them about this?"

Mac shook his head. "I haven't said anything to them yet. I've tried not to tell anyone unless I absolutely have to. I don't want to ruin your reputation if I can help it. Hawkes and Flack did the search. Danny, Coach's Special?"

"It's nothing, Mac. Nothing. Just a vitamin mix my high school baseball coach recommended to everyone on the team. A combination of vitamins, minerals, and herbs; pretty holistic stuff. Something to boost energy nothing dangerous. I promise you Mac; it's nothing."

Mac wasn't sure what to believe anymore. The facts were staring him in the face but yet Danny seemed so believable. He thought back to Lindsay's admonishment that Danny needed their trust and support. Could he give it knowing what he knew?

"Danny, Hawkes tested one of the pills. It was pure anabolic steroid."


	9. Chapter 8

Author's Notes: This was a hard chapter to write. Big things are coming soon but I have to get there first. This chapter starts to explain a few things but felt a little dry compared to earlier chapters. I hope it doesn't disappoint too greatly.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 8

Looking up from where he sat on the floor of the hospital room, Danny stared at Mac for several minutes before responding.

"Not fucking possible." His tone was low and almost threatening but it didn't appear to phase Mac.

"Why, Danny? Because a coach would never have his players take performance enhancing drugs to ensure a better year in athletics? Come on, Danny; you're smarter than that."

Danny suddenly felt more tired than he'd ever felt in his life. It could have been the sedatives he'd been given but he thought this current malaise creeping over him had more to do with the disappointment and lack of trust he heard in Mac's voice. It wasn't the first time he'd disappointed Mac or the first time he'd felt abandoned by his friend and boss but this time it hurt more than any of the other times put together.

"No, because I am smart enough to know what steroids do to a body. I thought you were too. During the season practically everyone on the high school team took those things religiously every day, sometimes twice a day if a really important game was coming up. Off season, most of us slacked off to maybe two or three a week. I continued that trend during college and my days in the minors. Even though I'm no longer playing I take one every other day or so unless there's a big case that's zapping me and I'll take it once a day. Since the news came out about the PT test, I've definitely upped it to twice a day just to have the energy boost to make it through work AND put in a few extra hours at the gym. Don't you think if I'd been taking steroids for that long, someone would have noticed by now? Have I ever failed a random drug test?"

Mac had to admit the answer was no. The department did so many random tests each month that he had to sign off on that the truth was he didn't really pay attention to the names of the officers who passed, only if something turned up hinky with the test. Danny's name had never crossed his desk with anything suspicious about a test. Danny pressed on.

"Not to mention if I'd been taking steroids for that length of time the side effects would be more than obvious. Things like man boobs the size of Dolly Parton's and a certain other appendage that I'm quite fond of would have probably shrunk to the size of shriveled raisin. And my liver? That would have shut down ages ago. In fact I'd probably be dead if I'd been taking 'roids that long. I would have thought you were smart enough to think of that."

Mac looked down at his hands clasped in his lap. He didn't respond because there was nothing he could say that would fault Danny's logic. Still, he couldn't just turn his back on what the evidence said or the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. As if he could read Mac's thoughts, Danny continued on as if there'd been no pause.

"B-complex, especially B6 and B12, Vitamins D and E, Iron, and Ginger root." Mac looked up confused by Danny's words. The younger man's voice took on a bitter tone. "That's what Coach's Special is made up of. I know because not long after I started at the lab I decided to see; not that I didn't trust Coach but because I was curious to see what the GCMS could do with the sample. That's what the report showed. I think I probably still have the printout in a file somewhere in my desk if you don't believe me."

Unable to read the expression in Mac's eyes to see if he'd even come close to convincing him, Danny plunged on with the fear that his earlier actions had made everything he could say less believable. "Fine, don't trust me. Trust Montana. You just told me that her blood work came back clean."

Finally Mac did speak but his tone gave no indication of his feelings. "Lindsay has taken these 'Coach's Specials'?"

Danny nodded. "After the Holly case, she seemed a little run down; not her usually peppy self." He didn't add that it was right after the disastrous no-show on their date; some things Mac didn't need to know. "She said she hadn't been sleeping so good lately. I had about a dozen or so pills left and was about to get a new bottle so I gave them to her. Assured her that they would give her a safe energy boost until her sleeping habits returned to normal."

"So this batch that tested positive was a new bottle?" Mac pressed, seeing a possibility that might help Danny. "Where do you get them?"

"Stanley's Drug Store near Ma and Pop's place. Old man Stanley worked with Coach Zallina to create the mixture. You gotta have a bottle with Coach's label on it in order to purchase them. Don't want our rivals getting hold of our secret weapon. Zallina died about three years ago but the tradition remains. Old man Stanley turned the drugstore over to his son but still does a lot of the compounding himself. Before you ask, and yeah, I see where you are going with this; I don't think either Mr. Stanley or Jimmy would give me bogus pills. But, the business is good and I don't know all of their employees so it could be possible someone who works for them made a switch."

"I'll send Flack to check them out tomorrow. Danny, you know this doesn't automatically clear you. I hope we find out someone there intentionally changed the pills but unless we have proof, the argument could still be made that you put the steroids in the bottle yourself."

If Lindsay had been sitting in Mac's spot expressing doubt about his innocence, it wouldn't bother Danny. After what he did to her, even if he wasn't aware of what he was doing, he deserved her doubts and fears. He'd willingly take whatever abuse she wanted or needed to heap on him; anything that would help her recover from his actions today. However, he couldn't take another second of the same doubts directed toward him from anyone else. He just didn't have the energy or mental fortitude to handle anymore tonight.

"Yeah, whatever. If you don't mind, I'm beat. I wanted to make sure that Montana was okay and now I'd just like to go to bed."

Mac nodded; knowing that he was at least partially responsible for the defeat he heard in the younger man's voice. He rose from the bed and started to leave, pausing at the door. He turned to look back at Danny. "For what its worth, Lindsay has been your biggest supporter all day. She believes in you one hundred percent."

After the door closed behind him, Danny buried his head in his knees and allowed the tears of frustration he'd been holding back most of the day to flow freely. "It's worth more than you could know."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Mac glanced at his watch as he parked outside Lindsay's apartment building. Though the day had seemed forever long, it wasn't so late that he couldn't stop by and see if he could find out more about this neighbor Danny had mentioned. There was something about Danny's story that had struck a chord with Mac, leading the veteran detective almost positive that the apology fruit had something to do with the fading bruises on Lindsay's shoulder and arm. Danny had mentioned that the neighbor was big but had a mental condition. Mac could see Lindsay wanting to protect what she felt was a defenseless man.

He had been to Lindsay's apartment a couple of times. Even though her apartment was small, she liked hosting fun little get-togethers for everyone at the lab. He easily made his way up to the tenth floor of the fifteen story building to Lindsay's apartment. No one was in the hall as he exited the elevator. He tried her door, just to make sure everything seemed secure there as he tried to decide the best way to check out her neighbors.

"You can't be there." A slow deep voice made Mac turn around. A big man had stepped out of the apartment across the hall and two doors down. He certainly matched Danny's description of "big as an ox." Mac couldn't be sure about autism but it seemed pretty clear from his appearance and speech that he was certainly mentally challenged. The newcomer continued. "Miss Lindsay not home. She should be. She went to work before 8 a.m. so she should have been home no later than 6 p.m. but she hasn't come home yet. Must be bad murder. Only time she's still at work this late after going in before 8 a.m. is if it's bad murder."

Mac crossed to join the man. "I'm Detective Taylor. I'm Lindsay's boss. Lindsay was injured at work today and she's staying with me for a few days as she gets better."

The bigger man paled. "Lindsay hurt? Bad? Lindsay is Petey's friend."

"She'll be okay, Petey." Mac assured him. "The doctor just didn't want her to be alone for a day or two with the medicine she was on."

"I got key to her apartment. You show me ID and I let you in."

Mac smiled, glad to see that he wasn't just going to take Mac's word that he was her boss. "Thanks Petey. Maybe later. Looks like you try to take good care of Lindsay."

The other man nodded solemnly. "She's my friend. I live with my brother and sometimes when he's at work and there's a bad storm, she lets me stay with her so I'm not scared. She says it's okay to be scared sometimes. And she never makes me feel stupid when I don't get my words right."

It didn't surprise Mac to hear how compassionate Lindsay was to Petey. He wondered if Petey's brother was working tonight. The grayness of the morning had finally given way to rain late in the afternoon before tapering off but actual storms were predicted within the next couple of hours. Had Petey been watching for Lindsay because he was scared? He was about to ask as delicately as possible when the other man suddenly brightened. "I make Lindsay feel better. Wait here."

He went back into his apartment and returned a moment later with a small jar full of dehydrated fruits. He handed the jar to Mac. "You give that to Lindsay. I maked them myself. Mike – he's my brother – showed me how to cut up the fruit without hurting myself and he bought be a special machine that makes the fruit all smushed up and wrinkly. Lindsay likes them and they'll make her feel better."

This was the opening Mac was hoping for. "I'm sure they will. I think I saw a similar jar on Lindsay's desk at work. Did she get that from you?"

Petey nodded but his head was downcast. "It was part 'pology and part thank you. She didn't tell Mike I hurt her; my brother would have been so mad and probably not let me visit Lindsay any more if he knew. But Lindsay said it was okay that she knew I didn't mean to hurt her."

So much for her story about the subway, not that Mac had believed that to start with. "She didn't even tell me about that. What happened, Petey?"

The other man kicked his foot against the carpet. "I heard her door open and wanted to say hi but she was running toward the stairwell. She looked like she was upset; in fact, she kept bumping into the wall and even bashed against that fire alarm with her shoulder as she ran past but didn't act like she felt it at all. I was worried so I followed her to make sure she was okay. She went all the way up to the roof. I'm not I supposed to go up there because Mike says I'll fall if I get too close to the edge but I thought it would be okay if Lindsay was there too. She didn't even hear me. I think she thought she was somewhere else cause she looked like she was just going to keep walking right off the side of the building. I yelled at her to warn her and grabbed her arm. I wasn't trying to hurt her I promise. Mikes says I'm supposed to hold on to people gently like I'm holding an egg but I was scared. I didn't mean to hurt her. Sometimes I forget I'm so strong. I just didn't want her to fall and get hurt."

Petey looked so upset that Mac had to reassure him. "It's okay, Petey. I'm sure Lindsay wasn't mad about it."

Mac tried to piece together what he could of Petey's story. It certainly explained the bruises. The one on her shoulder would have come from hitting the fire alarm pull box. Glancing down the hallway to where it was located it was easy to see it would be about her shoulder height. Petey's big meaty hands were about the right size for the handprint bruise on her arm. Had her silence been more about protecting her mentally challenged friend or was there more to the story than even Petey knew about? What had upset her so much and what was she planning to do up on that roof? She'd initially said she was trying to protect herself by not saying anything. What was she protecting herself from? Whatever had initially upset her or by what she feared she might have been set to do on that rooftop?

Before today, Mac would have listened to Petey's story and believe the younger man had just misread the situation and over reacted to the situation. Of course before today, he would have also said that Danny wasn't capable of inflicting the damage Mac had witnessed unleashed on Lindsay either. Nor would he have said that Lindsay would have allowed anyone to get past a first punch. But today had happened and everything Mac had held as gospel truth had disintegrated into meaningless mutterings. "Did she tell you what had upset her?"

Petey shook his head. "No, Mike says I'm not supposed to ask a bunch of questions. It must have been really bad though cause she was crying and crying and Lindsay doesn't cry."

A sudden rumble of thunder threatened to shake the building. Petey cringed as if it could physically hurt him. Mac frowned. "Petey, when will Mike be home?" He assumed the boy's brother wasn't at home since he hadn't appeared while Mac was talking to Petey.

"He'll be home in exactly twenty two minutes. He's always on time." There was another rumble of thunder and Petey jumped again.

Mac smiled reassuringly. "Since Lindsay isn't at home, would you like for me to keep you company until your brother gets home? Perhaps you could show me how you make your fruit snacks."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

_Lindsay put the finishing touches on her make-up and gave her softly curled honey locks a quick fluff before checking out the final effects in the mirror. She smiled. She had to admit that she was both excited and nervous about tonight's date. Date. She had a date with Danny Messer. It was almost more than she could believe. Sure they flirted a lot and had a easy camaraderie that had everyone assuming from almost the moment that she'd arrived at the lab that something was brewing between the two. Still, even though she had flipped head over heels for the handsome, very sure of himself, Staten Island native, she'd been sure her feelings would never be reciprocated. Danny could have any woman he set his eyes on, why would he choose a simple, plain girl from Montana? When he had held her in his arms after her brief, almost disastrous stint undercover, she realized that he was shaking almost as much as she was and that he truly cared about her. When he'd asked her out, she'd eagerly said yes. _

_Now, tonight was the night. In less than an hour and a half she would meet him at the restaurant. She wasn't sure what to expect. She wasn't some sixteen year old virgin out for her first ever date but it also wasn't like she'd had a wealth of experience either. Having grown up with five brothers, she had always felt more like one of the guys around their friends rather than potential girlfriend material. The few serious boyfriends she had both in college and the years after hadn't been too successful and now she was feeling less than confident about measuring up to the voluptuous, sexy women she was sure Danny was used to dating. She had no idea where tonight would lead but she wanted it to be perfect._

_Her phone rang and her heart momentarily froze. What if it was Danny calling to cancel? What if he'd thought about everything and decided going out on a date with her was a big mistake? The phone buzzed again and she finally answered it; her heart not beating correctly until she realized the voice on the other end didn't belong to Danny. _

"_Hey, Hotshot. Miss me?"_

_She smiled. The one drawback to leaving Bozeman PD had been saying goodbye to her boss and mentor Chief Micah Alexander. She'd known him for practically her whole life and working with him had been like working for a friend. She would never dare try to compare Mac and Micah as bosses; it just wouldn't be fair. "Micah, didn't realize I was supposed to be aiming at you. How are you?"_

_Outside her family, Micah was really the only one she kept in contact with on a regular basis since leaving Bozeman. Still, getting a phone call from him was a little unusual. _

"_Fine as frog's hair, Hotshot. I need your help with something."_

_If she could have packed the aging police chief up in her bags and brought him with her to New York, she would have. He'd been her biggest cheerleader when she'd decided to become a crime scene investigator. He'd even helped convince her parents to support her in her decision. "Micah, I told you; I can't sneak state of the art equipment out from our lab here in New York and ship it back to you in Bozeman."_

_The day she'd tearfully shown up in his office to tell him she'd been offered the job in New York, Micah had sensed she was torn between her desire to get away from the demons that would forever haunt her in Bozeman coupled with the fantastic boost to her career and her reluctance to leave him after he'd been so supportive. He'd lovingly cupped her chin and given her a wink. Told her of course she had to take the job because he'd heard the New York Crime lab had all kind of fancy equipment they'd never be fortunate to have and she could smuggle some back to them. The fact that her joke didn't even cause him to chuckle told Lindsay something was horribly wrong._

"_Hotshot, you near your computer? I just sent you an e-mail of a photo line-up. I need you to make an ID for me."_

_Lindsay left her bedroom and went to the computer sitting on a small desk in the living room. As she the mouse to wake the computer up from its hibernation, she rested the phone between her shoulder and ear. "I've been gone there for over a year; what case could you possibly need me to do an ID for?"_

_She pulled up her e-mail and saw the lone message from Micah. She opened the message and forgot how to breathe. There on the third row fourth picture was the face that had haunted her nightmares for a decade. _

"_Lindsay, darling, we caught him. It took me ten years but I finally kept my word to you. I just need an official ID from you to put the final nail in his coffin." When she didn't answer him, he pressed on. "Hotshot? Can you pick him out? One word from you and it's all over but the legalities." One word would be all it took but Lindsay wasn't capable of speaking, she was having a hard enough time just coaxing air in and out of her lungs. All the other pictures in the e-mail faded to black and only the one face stared back at her as if he were taunting her. "Lindsay, dammit girl, say something or I swear to God I'll call that boss of yours in New York and get him to come check on you."_

_That spurred Lindsay to be able to utter just enough to appease him. "It's him, Micah. Fourth picture on the third row. How?"_

"_Doesn't matter how, Hotshot. Only that we got him. I'm not going to ask you if your okay cause I know you're not. I'm sorry I had to get you to do the line-up. I know you well enough to know you gotta process this in your own way so I'm not going to keep you on the line. But I'm gonna call you back in an hour to check on you. If you don't answer, I promise you I'm gonna call your folks, your brothers, every number I got for the New York Crime Lab and sic them on you. Love you, Hotshot. You know that, right?"_

_Lindsay nodded, forgetting he couldn't see her and then hung up the phone. She sank to her knees not trusting her legs to support her much longer. It was almost as if his eyes in the photograph followed her downward movement. In an instant she was transported back to that evening in the diner, hearing those gunshots, peeking out the bathroom door in time to see a slightly younger version of that face almost proudly surveying the devastation he'd caused to her friends, fearing that in just seconds he would discover where she was hiding. For weeks after the shooting she couldn't close her eyes without seeing his face superimposed behind her closed lids. She'd done everything she could to avoid sleeping trying to escape seeing him. Even as that reaction faded, he still haunted her dreams, causing her to awaken in screams and tears. _

_Dinner with Danny was forgotten. The fact that she'd essentially hung up on her former boss didn't even register in her mind. She never felt the tears that had risen unbidden to streak down her face. That quiet, small voice in the back of her head that tried to convince herself that his arrest was a good thing, that it meant that her dead friends could finally have justice, went ignored. Only his face staring back at her and the inability to breathe mattered in that instance. _

_She had to get away from him; the idea that all she had to do was close the e-mail never crossed her mind. Lindsay rose shakily to her feet, desperate for the air that seemed to have permanently abandoned her. She was out of her door and down the hall without even realizing it. She ran in a blind panic, not noticing the wall she kept bumping into nor registering the pain when she rammed her shoulder against the fire pull box on her mad flight toward the stairwell. The only thing that mattered was getting away and finding the air she so desperately needed for her oxygen starved lungs._

Lindsay sat bolt upright in bed, her body shaking and giving in to the urge to draw in deep breaths despite the twinge it caused her ribs. Hearing footsteps coming closer to the bedroom, she quickly laid back down and feigned sleep just as the door opened. She tried to control her breathing so as not to alert Stella. It wasn't that she wanted to deceive her friend and colleague but at the same time didn't want to have to explain what was going on. She was sure Stella would automatically assume she'd been dreaming about what had happened earlier today and Lindsay wasn't sure she had the energy to defend herself or Danny any more that night. After a moment, Stella closed the door without saying a word, apparently convinced that Lindsay was okay.

Once again alone, Lindsay sat up again, rearranging the pillows so that she could rest comfortably or at least as comfortably as possible. Just hours earlier she had lied to Mac about the nature of the bruises on her shoulder and arm. She hadn't known what to do when Mac pressed her for answers. There was no way she could tell him the truth. That would mean explaining about the shooting of the diner. She was sure her friends in New York would understand and sympathize with her pain but one of the reasons she'd left Bozeman was to escape the stigma of being the only one who survived. She didn't want to see the same look of pity in every set of eyes she looked at in the lab; today's attack was going to make that difficult as it was.

She also didn't think she could take the inevitable questions that would arise about her headlong flight to the roof. What had she planned to do once she reached the edge of the building? The truth was she just didn't know. She hadn't been thinking of anything at all but the need to get air. She could honestly say she hadn't given any conscious thought to hurting herself but she also hadn't given thought to anything at all during those desperate moments. Any doubt that Mac might have about her mental state that night if she told him the truth could cost her her career. She couldn't let that happen. The man sitting in the Bozeman jail had already cost her the best friends a teenager could hope for she wasn't about to let him steal her job away from her as well.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

One of the perks of being the Chief of Detectives was that you got to work pretty normal hours. Usually. Today wasn't that sort of day for Brigham Sinclair. Here it was after 9 pm, hours after he should have called it quits and gone home and he was still sitting at his desk.

His phone hadn't stopped ringing since the news about the attack at the diner had hit the local media. Everyone wanting to know what had happened and how the NYPD was responding to the incident. Every time the phone rang, he'd scooped it up expecting it to be Detective Taylor with the answers he needed for the other fifty times an hour the phone rang. Every time if failed to be him and Brigham's frustration had grown. He'd called and even visited the lab more times this afternoon than he had the entire previous month before. And yet he still had no more answers now than he did when he'd first gotten the call from Mac.

He'd considered going home several hours earlier but figured the calls would just find him there. He'd rather not take his work home with him so instead here he sat waiting for word that he had a sneaking suspicion wasn't coming tonight.

Almost as if because he was thinking about it, it happened; the phone on his desk trilled sharply. He didn't recognize the number that popped up on the display but he plucked up the receiver. "Sinclair."

"_The New York Crime Lab is covering up for one of their own."_ A female voice accused.

Sinclair frowned. It wasn't the first time he'd heard the accusation today but this time it seemed more like a factual statement than a fearful question. Still he offered the same pat answer he'd given everyone else that day. "The lab is investigating an internal matter but I can assure you that there will be no cover-up."

"_Then you've been told that Detective Messer's tox report came back positive for steroid use."_

"Who is this?" Whoever this person was, she seemed to know more than he did about the matter.

"_I'd rather not say; I'm worried about reprisals by reporting Mac Taylor. He knows his favorite CSI has been taking illegal drugs but he's covering up the truth until he can spin things to make it look like Danny wasn't responsible. It's not fair to the rest of the lab or to Detective Monroe who had to get hurt because of his mistakes."_

Turning to his computer, Sinclair typed in the phone number that had appeared on his caller ID. As he waited for the results to come up, he tried once more to reassure the woman on the other line. "I can protect you against any kind of reprisals. Have you seen this report for yourself? How did you get your information?"

"_Don't let them get away with this. Someone has to protect the integrity of the lab." _

His search result popped up just as the female hung up. Sinclair sucked in his breath. The phone belonged to Lindsay Monroe.


	10. Chapter 9

Author's Notes: A prologue and eight chapters just to cover one day. Probably why I don't write episodic television where the entire case has to be wrapped up in 45 minutes. Day One was filled with a lot of doubts and questions so hopefully Day two will bring more answers and trust. But no promises. I should say the product mentioned in the last section of this story is strictly from my own imigination and not based on anything real.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 9

The clouds and grayness of the day before had washed away in the storms of night and left only sunshine and brilliant blue in its stead. The new day held more promise than its predecessor and one could only hope it would be the same in non-weather related matters as well.

Lindsay awoke from a restless dream-filled sleep to throbbing pain mostly from her ribs. But the pain wasn't quite as bad as the day before. Certainly still enough that she wouldn't balk at taking one of the pain pills the doctor had prescribed but enough that she didn't worry that taking the medication would feel about as useful as eating candy. She dressed slowly and gingerly in the outfit Stella had picked out for her. Soft jeans and an even softer bulky sweater that screamed its comfort. Without someone like Stella or Jess to help her, fastening the bra was difficult but she'd had her share of injuries growing up to have had practice with using a braced hand to help perform difficult tasks.

As she dressed, her thoughts turned the to the day before. Her brain wasn't as drug fuzzy as it had been previously and she could more coherently analyze what had happened. She couldn't believe Danny would willingly take steroids. Sure, he'd boasted when he heard about the new PT requirements that he planned to not only pass them but to outshine all the other officers. He wanted to prove that the science geeks had brawn as well as brains. But that was just his usual boastful, sure-of-himself, swagger. She knew he could do it but by his own abilities not with the boost of performance enhancing drugs. No, Danny had too much confidence and pride in himself to resort to drugs. He had to have been given the steroids from an outside source without his knowledge.

But still, something didn't make sense to her. A couple of football players from her brother Jeremy's class had been caught using them and it had sent the school administration over the top for years after making sure that their students knew the risks and dangers of using steroids. As a result, she'd read the literature, seen the videos, and heard all the horror stories about steroid abuse and the resulting rage that could come upon the user. Yes, Danny's rage the day before had all the tell-tale markings of a full blown 'roid rage but what had precipitated it? The change had been so swift and unprovoked that it had been scary enough all on it's own without the resulting violence. Even if Danny had a build up of steroids in his system, what had triggered the attack on her? She still had many questions; she just hoped the answers wouldn't be too devastating.

She emerged from the bedroom to the delightful smell of bacon frying on the stove. She smiled, having a hard time picturing Mac being so domesticated. Of course, that could be because he never seemed to leave the lab enough for her to imagine that he was ever home long enough to do domesticated things. She gingerly perched on one of the bar stools at the island in front of his stove. Mac transferred several slices of bacon to a paper-towel covered plate and then poured her a cup of coffee. He set the mug before her with a smile.

"Morning, how did you sleep?"

"Like a baby."

Mac chuckled, the dark circles under the eye that wasn't swollen and bruised told the full story. "That fitfully huh? How do you like your eggs?"

"Over medium. I'm impressed, the Mac Taylor Home for Injured Officers sure knows how to treat its guests." Lindsay teased, remembering his comment from the night before about his spare bedroom.

"We aim to please. Lindsay, I have to go into work today; Sinclair is going to have my head if I don't have answers soon and I want to have all my bases covered before I give them to him. I hate to leave you by yourself all day though. And no, you are not coming to work today I don't care how much better you claim to feel."

"Don't worry, I would like nothing more than to be at the lab working to prove what really happened before its too late to protect Danny's job. But I know you can't let me near the case and even though, like you, I don't always show it; I do know my own limits. I wouldn't be of any use to anyone at the lab today. Still, when Dr. Terry said he didn't want me staying by myself, I don't think he meant that I needed a full time babysitter. I'll be fine. I promise I won't do anything more strenuous than press the buttons on your remote. How did it go talking to Danny last night? I never heard you come in." That's when her eyes fell on the glass jar of dehydrated fruits on the other side of the counter. She paled. Mac noticed and explained.

"I stopped by your apartment last night just to make sure things seemed undisturbed. Met your neighbor Petey. When he heard you were injured he insisted on sending the fruits to help you feel better. I got the feeling you are his number one fan. The storm seemed to be bothering him so I offered to keep him company until his brother got home."

"Petey used to live in Ohio with his parents until they were killed in a tornado. He survived without so much as a scratch but even the threat of bad weather scares him now. Mike hates having to leave him alone if the weather's forecasting rain but he can't just leave work every time there's a storm. Thanks for staying with him." Outwardly Lindsay appeared calm but inside she was shaking. Petey wouldn't have told Mac about that night on the roof, would he? He'd been so upset that he'd accidentally hurt her when he pulled her back from being too near the edge of the building. But looking in Mac's eyes, she could see that he knew at least some of the truth. She waited for him to bust her on her lie.

Mac could see her fears behind her eyes and knew what she was worried about. After leaving Petey safely in his brother's care, Mac had put in a call to the Bozeman police chief. He'd talked to the man several times while he was thinking of hiring Lindsay and knew the man was not just a boss but a family friend. Micah Alexander had told him all about the shooting at the diner when Mac was gathering information on Lindsay a year ago; the Bozeman chief explaining that while the tragedy had been exceedingly difficult and continued to be for his favorite employee and friend, Lindsay hadn't let it stop her from becoming the best in her field that he'd ever seen. In fact he'd confided that while he hated to lose Lindsay to the New York Crime lab, he couldn't help but feel it would be better for her to be away from the constant reminders of the tragedy. He'd sounded like he genuinely cared about Lindsay. If something had upset the young woman as much as Petey had claimed, it had to have been news from home. If anyone would know what had happened it would be the police chief.

Micah, almost as if he'd been expecting some kind of phone call from Mac, had filled him in on the night he'd had to call with news of the arrest. Said she'd been understandably in shock by the news but when he'd talked to her an hour later she'd been much better. Micah had assured Mac that while Lindsay could have extreme moments dealing with shock and pain, she'd never have crossed the line that Petey's story had suggested. She might have been upset but not that upset. He also warned Mac that it would be better to let Lindsay confide in him when she was ready. Pushing her into talking about something before then would just make her shut down completely. Mac had thanked him for the advice and hung up.

"I'm glad I met him. Nice to know that you have someone keeping an eye on you. Not that you need it." Mac assured her, saying nothing about either conversation. "As for Danny, don't worry about him. I'm going to have Flack check out the drugstore where Danny get's his Coach's Special. Danny thinks the switch from the normal drug had to have happened there. He also said he'd given you some of the pills from an older bottle of pills. Your tox report came back negative so those couldn't have been tainted."

"I never took them." Lindsay offered as Mac set a plate in front of her, seeing no reason to keep the information from Mac any longer. "It wasn't that I didn't trust them; I just don't like relying on anything, even vitamins for a boost. There in a bottle in the bottom drawer of my desk. You can get them and test them to be sure. It would help prove that Danny wasn't willingly taking the steroids." Then she sighed, still worried about his visit to her apartment. "Mac, about my old bruises.."

"Lindsay, don't worry about it. You might have broken protocol by not reporting your vertigo and yeah, it could have been dangerous not doing so, but nothing truly bad happened so as long as you follow procedure in the future; I'm not going to make a stink about this time. But I'd prefer it if you would promise me that you'll come to me in the future before something like this happens again."

Lindsay smiled, a faint blush creeping into her cheeks. She was pretty sure he knew that her cover story was a lie and probably knew the truth but he wasn't going to press her for information. As she'd lain in bed the night before after her dream about the night Micah had called with the news, she'd thought about the two men she claimed both as boss and friend. In some ways they seemed so opposite each other but in all the ways that truly mattered they were almost exactly alike. Perhaps that was why she'd taken to Mac so easily.

"Promise."

Mac nodded, knowing she had picked up on what he'd really been saying. "I'm also glad you promise to take it easy today. Still, don't be surprised if I send anyone who has a reason to get out of the lab today over here to check on you. I promised Dr. Terry to keep any eye on you for a day or so and I'm going to do that even if it means sending in substitutes."

"Wouldn't expect anything different." Lindsay assured him, pushing around the eggs on her plate.

"Good, so long as we're on the same page here. Now finish your breakfast so you can take something for the pain I'm sure you're still in. Since you didn't sleep too well last night, maybe you can fit in a nap between television shows today."

Lindsay did as ordered but then paused after a second bite. "Mac, while you are at the lab today, could you see about bringing my phone to me. I guess it must have been taken as evidence with the rest of my clothes. It shouldn't be needed as evidence, should it?"

Mac shook his head. "I don't remember seeing your phone in the stuff Stella collected but I suppose it could have been put with the other evidence gathered at the diner. I'll check and see. Shouldn't be a problem."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

As soon as Mac stepped off the elevator at the lab, he knew a battle was at hand. He could see Sinclair pacing back and forth in his office looking madder than he'd ever seen him. He sighed and braced himself for what was probably coming.

"Brigham, what brings you by this early?" Mac tried, hoping a calm, friendly voice would soften the man's mood some. It didn't.

"What brings me here? Are you seriously asking me that? Taylor, I want to know the truth and I want to know it now. Did Messer's tox screen come back positive for steroids?"

Mac glanced back at the door to make sure it had closed firmly behind him before Sinclair had asked his question. Only the core team - Stella, Flack, Lindsay, Sheldon, Adam, and himself, knew about the tox report. He'd purposely kept the information close to the vest. Danny was going to have a lot of questions facing him when he came back and Mac didn't want to add fuel to the fire until they knew the whole story. "How did you find out about that?"

Sinclair shook his head. "Dammit, not the way I should have found out, Taylor. Didn't I tell you yesterday that I wanted to be kept abreast of every detail of this investigation? Why didn't you call me as soon as you got the toxicology report? Or, if not that, then why wasn't I informed during one of the many times I called looking for information? I have half a mind to pull your team from this whole investigation and assign it to another department. I don't like even the appearance of a cover-up under my watch."

Mac shook his head, becoming defensive himself. "There is no cover up going on, Brigham. And you aren't going to turn this investigation over to another department because you know we're the best. If anyone's going to get to the bottom of this with the least amount of flack for the department it's my team. Yeah, I withheld the information but I would do the same on any case. The toxicology report is a starting point but not the whole picture. All we currently know is that somehow Danny ingested high amounts of anabolic steroids; we now even know the source of the steroids, but we don't know who is responsible for them. Without the whole story, we have nothing."

Sinclair practically threw himself down on the couch in frustration. He hadn't slept hardly at all the night before after getting the call. "Where did you find the steroids? Don't jerk me around, Taylor. I want the truth and I want it now or I don't care how good your team is, you're off the case."

"Danny's apartment." Mac admitted reluctantly. The look Sinclair shot him could have cut through solid walls.

"Dammit, Mac. If they were in his apartment then he probably put them there. How can you stand there protecting him? How is it going to look to the public when this gets out? Every defense attorney worth his salt is going to file an appeal for any client put away due to the investigations of this lab. And a judge will probably grant it. How trustworthy is the word of a drug addict?"

Mac perched on the edge of his desk fighting the urge to yell back at his superior officer. Instead he took a couple of deep breaths before replying. "Danny is no drug addict. This is exactly why I didn't tell you. You're jumping to conclusions when we haven't even begun to get all the facts. The drugs were in Danny's apartment but we haven't proven he knew what he was taking. I talked with him last night and he seemed genuinely surprised by the findings. His story is that he believed he was taking a mixture of vitamins created by his baseball coach back in high school. Pills he's been taking for years. I've got Flack investigating the pharmacy that Danny bought the pills from; someone might have switched the pills Danny thought he was taking for the steroids. If that happened, then Danny is an innocent victim in this."

Sinclair shook his head. "Innocent victim my ass. What about the other innocent victim in this? Detective Monroe? How is she supposed to feel about you risking this lab's integrity to protect the man who viciously attacked her?"

"If I would allow it, she'd be right here today helping to prove his innocence." Mac assured him.

"Are you sure about that?" Sinclair's eyes narrowed. "Perhaps she's just afraid to speak up."

Mac had a feeling Sinclair was going somewhere with this other than just concern for Lindsay's feelings but he wasn't sure what it could be. "It's the only thing I'm sure about. I don't necessarily understand it but the only person in all of this who hasn't expressed even a momentary doubt about Danny's innocence is Lindsay herself."

Sinclair rose from the couch. He began to pace once again before stopping to look out the glass window into the lab. Finally he turned back to Mac. "You asked me earlier who I found out about the report. I got a call last night informing that you were covering up the truth. The person wouldn't give her name because she was worried about reprisals. I ran the number on caller ID. It came back to Lindsay Monroe."

Mac shook his head. "It's not possible."

"Why, because you don't want it to be?" Sinclair accused.

"No, because Lindsay hasn't had her cell phone since the attack. She asked me this morning to see if it had been collected as evidence. So if Lindsay didn't make that call, who did? Sounds like someone is going to a lot of trouble trying to get Danny in trouble."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Flack almost reluctantly stepped into Mac's office not quite two hours later. The older man set aside the folder he'd been reading over. "Tell me you got good news."

Flack shrugged. "Linds was fine when I checked on her. Does that count?"

Leaning back in his chair, Mac motioned for Flack to have a seat on the couch. "Always but not quite what I was asking about. How did it go at Stanley's?"

"Not the way any of us wanted." Flack admitted. "Neither Stanley was in the store today. Jimmy is Upstate attending a pharmacy convention and the elder Stanley was out delivering prescriptions to elderly patients that can't get out to get them themselves. But the girl behind the counter was really helpful. Of course, I think she was more interested in trying to get into my pants than give me information but that's another nightmare for another day. Once she realized I was a cop she was more than willing to answer my questions about Coach's Special even without a search warrant. Showed me the compounding area where Stanley creates the pills. Even gave me a quick look at the ingredients that go into the pills so I could see that they were completely safe. She even showed me the ledger they keep of sales. Apparently they are really concerned about the local rivals getting their hands on the formula."

Mac nodded. "So far, I'm not hearing where this was a bad trip and I'm including your potential love life in that as well. So where did things go sour?"

"I showed her a picture of Danny. She recognized him; called him the hunkiest Italian Stallion she'd ever had the pleasure of. She didn't say what she'd had the pleasure of and I don't think I want to know. I'm just grateful Danny's standards for dating have come up over the years. I asked if she remembered seeing him come in about three weeks ago to pick up a new supply of Coach's Special."

"Did she?"

"Said she hadn't seen Danny in months, sounded real disappointed about it, too."

Mac frowned. He could see where that wasn't the kind of news that Flack was hoping to be able to report. "Still, doesn't mean that Danny wasn't there. I'm sure she's not the only one who works there. Maybe Danny came in while someone else was working the counter."

"That's what I thought as well. She said there were a couple of guys that worked late afternoons that could have sold him the pills. So she pulled out the ledger to check to see when Danny was last in. I looked at every name in the book for the time frame we were looking at. No sign of Danny's name. Figured maybe we were off a week or two either way so I checked every page until I finally found Danny's name."

Though this was the news that Mac had hoped for, the way Flack was talking; it wasn't as good as it sounded. "When did he get it?"

"The last time Danny's name is recorded as getting a bottle of Coach's Special is about four months ago. The bottle Hawkes found in Danny's apartment was almost full. There's no way it was the same bottle he bought back then. I don't know where the pills came from but it doesn't look like they came from Stanley's."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Mac returned the coffee carafe back to the warmer and carried his mug to one of the break tables. It was the first break he'd taken all day and the pounding in his head was making his need for a caffeine boost achingly clear. So far they were no closer to proving that Danny was innocent of taking the steroids of his volition than they had been yesterday when the attack first happened. If anything it seemed like every where they turned it was pointing more like Danny had known exactly what he was doing.

It was only a matter of time before Sinclair came back insisting that Danny be fired and probably worse, dragged from the hospital to a jail cell.

"Um, Boss?" Adam stepped into the break room looking nervous. Mac suppressed a groan, not wanting to hear any more bad news. He set his mug down.

"What is it, Adam?" He was glad to hear that his tone hadn't betrayed his inner turmoil. He knew everyone on his team was working double time trying to prove what really happened. In fact, he could tell by the exhausted look on Adam's face that the lab tech probably hadn't gotten much sleep the night before in his attempts to discover the truth. No it wasn't the team's fault that the answers were remaining elusive but it didn't make it any easier to hear bad news.

"I got something I think you should see." The young lab tech shifted from one foot to the other but Mac couldn't tell if it was Adam's normal nervousness or an excitement over a case-breaking find that had him fidgeting.

Leaving the mug of coffee he so desperately needed behind, Mac stood and followed Adam down the hall to the AV room. It was obvious that Adam had been pouring over the video collected from the diner the day before. The big screen showed a still image of the diner in what had to be before the attack happened because everyone seemed oblivious to the impending danger. A piece of paper had been taped onto the lower right hand side of the screen. Mac raised an eyebrow and pointed to the paper questioningly.

Adam looked a little embarrassed. "That's where Danny and Lindsay are sitting and where he hurts her. I couldn't focus on anything else that was happening so I finally just covered the screen."

The explanation made sense and it saddened Mac to think the young man had had to resort to covering the screen to be able to stomach doing his job. Was this what one senseless act had brought them to?

"Can we remove the paper for now?"

"No offense, Boss, but you don't want to do that." Suddenly any trace of the nervousness that usually came over Adam when he met with Mac had vanished and his tone was confident and matter of fact. "There's nothing to be gained by seeing what goes on under that piece of paper. Nothing but watching one person you count as a friend brutalize a second person you care about. Nobody should have to see that because it never should have happened. Besides, it'll distract you from what you need to see. After I'm finished showing you what I found, if you still want me to, I'll take the paper down and rewind the tape. Once I'm out of the room, you can watch it to your heart's content but I really suggest you take my word for it that you don't wanna see it."

Mac nodded. "Okay then, what do you have to show me?"

"The cause of Danny's personality change."

Adam's words were cryptic at best and Mac shook his head. "We know that, Adam. It was the steroids."

"No, it wasn't." Adam argued, not sounding at all like his normal nervous self. "The steroids exacerbated Danny's condition but it didn't cause his rage. Just watch and I'll show you."

He started the tape rolling. "Okay, we see Lindsay and Danny come into the diner. You can see they both look relaxed and happy. See the way Lindsay waves and greets the staff; it's obvious she's a regular. They sit down at the booth and still everything seems fine. Watch the door." Mac did as instructed and it wasn't long before a woman entered the diner wearing dark sunglasses and a scarf over her head. It was impossible to positively ID her. She went and sat down in the booth that shared a back with the one Danny and Lindsay were sitting at. Adam paused the video. "Okay, I'm going to fast forward a little. Danny and Lindsay eat their meals while the woman in the other booth simply drinks coffee. Trust me when I tell you that under that piece of paper, Lindsay and Danny are enjoying themselves. I don't need sound to tell. They are relaxed and obviously joking back and forth." He forwarded the video to the spot he wanted and then paused it again. "Lindsay just stood up like she's about to got the rest room or something and Danny grabs her wrist but it wasn't in a threatening way. Now watch the woman again."

He pushed play and the video resumed. The woman Adam was encouraging him to watch pulled what appeared to be an atomizer from her purse and sprayed herself with the perfume. Again Adam paused. Mac shook her his head.

"Adam, it might be rude to spray perfume at the table like that but it isn't illegal."

Not to be deterred, Adam indicated the screen just before his blocking screen. "She didn't spray herself. She sprayed behind her. Danny would have gotten the full effect of the spray."

Again Mac looked confused and maybe a little irritated. "Please tell me you didn't bring me down here because you think Danny went crazy on Lindsay because an impolite person accidentally sprayed him with her perfume. Steroids or not I think that's asking a little too much."

Now some of the nervousness that was so common with Adam crept back into his voice. "No, boss, of course not. But see, I don't think it was an accident and I don't think it was perfume. I'm pretty sure it's PheromoRage."

Mac pulled a chair over and sat down. He was pretty sure he was going to need to be sitting to follow this story. "What the hell is PheromoRage?"

Now Adam was decidedly more nervous. "Well, see, it's something I've read about only. I don't understand why anyone would use it. It's sick and it's wrong and well, I guess some people get off on it because, according to a friend of mine, it's pretty popular."

"Adam, Adam." Mac interrupted. "I'm going to need a better explanation than that.""Okay." Adam slowed down a little. "Okay, see I have this friend from college; he owns a novelty store that caters to erotic literature and merchandise. He's always telling me about new products."

"Adam." This time Mac's tone was sharp. "PheromoRage?"

The younger man blushed. "Right, sorry. Any way. You know there's people out there all into the S&M. The whole idea of getting off on causing and receiving pain sickens me but it takes all kinds I guess. So, everything is fine I guess if both parties are agreeable to it. But what happens if only one partner is into that kind of thing. We see it all the time when there's a sadist in the duo. It probably accounts for most of the domestic abuse cases we see. But what if you are the masochist who craves the pain but don't have a partner willing to cause it? That's where PhermoRage comes in."

"I still don't understand what this has to do with Danny. I don't think either Danny or Lindsay fits either description."

Adam continued as if Mac hadn't interrupted. "The masochist either has to find a new outlet for the pain or find a way to convince the partner to overcome their social mores and become the sadist. PheromoRage is a pheromone that triggers the anger center of the brain. One whiff and a person temporarily loses all control. The person under the control of the pheromone acts in a way he or she never would normally act in order to give his or her partner what has been described as the best sexual experience of their lives. And because it is a pheromone and not a drug, it leaves no trace in the bloodstream. Plus the person under its affect doesn't remember the encounter."

Mac felt sick. "Are you telling me that people willingly allow themselves to be turned into an unrecognizable beast so that he or she can inflict pain on the person he or she claims to love? And for what, a sexual turn-on? Your friend sells this stuff?"

"He doesn't agree with it any more than you or I do but people request it. He'll only sell it if both parties sign a waiver saying they are both aware of the risks and are doing so of their own free will. But yeah. I personally don't find anything even remotely sexually satisfying about having the shit beat out of you but I guess some people do."

Mac pointed at the screen. "And you think that's what the lady was doing? You think she sprayed Danny with that pheromone in order to make him lash out at Lindsay like he did?"

Adam nodded. "From what my friend was telling me, usually the violence that results from PheromoRage is minor, nothing like the damage inflicted on Lindsay. But add the PheromoRage with the steroids and it's like a recipe for disaster. That's why Danny doesn't remember what happened in the diner."

"Damn, that's sick." Mac agreed. "You think your friend could get us a sample? As much as it galls me, we have to check out the possibility."

Adam reached over to a nearby desk and picked up what appeared to be a small perfume bottle. As Mac took the bottle from the younger man, he noticed the sprayer had been carefully taped up to avoid accidental exposure. Adam explained. "I went to seem my friend before coming in to work today. I figured we'd have to check it out. I've known him for years and he even made me sign a waiver that I was using this for police business. He doesn't take chances with getting sued."

"Smart guy." Mac agreed. "Is that all you wanted to show me?"

Adam shook his head. "You should see the rest." He pushed the play button again. "Danny just hit Lindsay and then knocked her to the ground. Everyone else in the diner is watching them but you watch the woman."

She stood up, watched the events playing out with a sort of sick smile on her face. Then she bent down and picked up a rectangular object before exiting the restaurant without so much as a backward glance.

"Back it up Adam. What did she pick up?"

As requested Adam ran the tape back and then tried to zoom in on her hand. "Looks like a cell phone, sir."

Mac's expression was grim. "I bet that's Lindsay's cell phone. It probably fell when Danny attacked her and if this mystery woman took it with her it would explain why it wasn't collected as evidence. It also explains why Sinclair got a call from Lindsay's number last night. Did the camera ever get a good look at her face?"

"No, sir. I tried. But Boss, was this an isolated attack or did she intentionally pick Danny? How would she know where to find them?"

Mac turned his attention away from the screen, knowing that just behind that thin sheet of paper, two lives were being irreversibly changed forever. "With the steroids in his system, Danny was a walking time bomb. All she had to do was wait outside the building until Danny and Lindsay came out and then follow them. I just have one big question."

"What's that?"

"Was Danny the target and Lindsay just collateral damage or was Lindsay the target and Danny the weapon of choice?"


	11. Chapter 10

Author's Notes: I promise this weekend I'm am going to work on getting an update up for both Gassed and Begin Anew. Both stories only have at most three chapters left; I shouldn't have neglected them so long. This one has just taken over everything. Although shame on me, while the kids were working on their own writing assignment today, I started yet another story that's been running through my mind. It's a Flack story. I had planned on having this chapter up last night but time caught up with me and put me to sleep. Shame on time. Hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 10

"Either way, this is too sick for words. Who could hate either Danny or Lindsay enough to go to the trouble of dosing Danny with steroids and then hitting him with the Rage spray just to get him to attack Lindsay?" Adam looked a little green just thinking about it.

If Mac knew the answer to that, the case would be completely solved. "Don't get ahead of yourself just yet. Right now all we have is theory but no substantiated proof."

Adam nodded. "But still if we prove that the woman sprayed Danny with the PheromoRage then that clears him of the attack charges, right? I mean he wasn't capable of being in control of his actions at the time, so he can't be held accountable."

Mac's expression was grim. "Yeah, it would clear him of the attack but not of the steroid use. Currently there's nothing connecting this woman to the steroid use. Sinclair could still have Danny's badge for the drug use unless we can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did not intentionally take those pills. You sure there was no clearer picture of the woman in the diner?"

"Looks like she must have known the cameras were there cause she averted or covered her face every time she was caught on camera. Sorry, Boss."

Waving off the apology, Mac was already thinking ahead. "Find the clearest picture of her that you can and print a still from it. Get it to Flack. He interviewed a woman at the pharmacy earlier; if there's any chance that they are one in the same I want him to bring her in for questioning."

"You got it, Boss. Anything else?" Adam used the computer to pull up the image Mac requested. He'd watched the video enough by now to know exactly where on the tape to find the kind of picture Mac wanted. He printed it out.

"Go to my apartment and check on Lindsay. I promised her I was going to check in with her during the day and so far I've only been able to spare Flack. Stella had court most of today and with us down two CSIs, Sheldon's been pulling double duty working the other cases that have come our way. I'm sure she's okay but Lindsay has a tendency of being a little stubborn; I want to make sure she's not trying to do too much."

Adam nodded although the idea of going to see Lindsay made him nervous. After watching the video, he wasn't sure what he should say to the young woman he considered a good friend. They were the newcomers to the lab and as a result, they had bonded over a shared misery that comes from being the newbie. "Yeah, I can do that. Although, the idea of you calling Lindsay stubborn is a little funny. I doubt you'd be following doctor's orders if your situations were reversed." Seeing the almost glare that Mac gave him despite the truth in his words, Adam gave a nervous laugh. "So, you just that worried about Lindsay or are you trying to get rid of me?"

Mac nodded. "Actually, I am. I've got to watch the whole video and I don't want to have to subject you to it again. I appreciate you trying to warn me off of it and I really wish I could heed that warning but I can't. If I'm going to prove that Danny was hit with that spray, I have to see his face. I'll need something to compare it to later."

Adam wanted to protest once again that there was nothing to be gained by watching it but he knew Mac had a point. Then curiosity got the better of him. "What are you going to compare it to? I mean, it's not like you are going to spray him again so you have another frame of reference, right?" Then his stomach turned as he realized that was exactly what Mac was planning to do. "No, seriously? Are you sure that's a good idea? I didn't think we'd actually use that sample when I got it, but even still my buddy gave his usual spiel about the possible side effects. One is that it can cause an unsafe rise in blood pressure. Didn't Hawkes tell me that was one of the concerns they had about Danny yesterday?"

Mac nodded. He'd contributed Danny's dangerously high blood pressure in the Emergency room to how upset he'd been about what had happened but now he wondered if it was a by product of the spray. "I appreciate your concern but I promise you, I'm going to get the answers we need as safely as possible. I don't plan on putting anyone, least of all Danny, in any further danger."

Even still, Adam shifted nervously as if he wasn't sure he should leave or not. Mac sighed, knowing this case was hitting everyone hard. He wanted to push Adam to explain what else was bothering him but knew it would do no more good to do that than it would have been to push Lindsay the night before to tell more about the attack. No, he couldn't push but he could remind the younger man that he was there if he wanted to talk. "Adam? Something else bothering you?"

The lab tech shook his head and started toward the door. He paused in the entryway and looked back. "Need me to rewind the video for you?"

Mac shook his head. "I know I'm not in the lab as much as when I first started out in this job but I do still know my way about the equipment. In case I forgot to mention it earlier, good job on catching the woman spraying Danny. If this pans out and he escapes going to jail, it'll be because of you. I'm going to make sure he knows it, too."

Adam flushed slightly. "Thanks but it's not necessary. I don't deserve it."

With that Mac waved him back into the lab and motioned for him to sit. Adam almost looked miserable as he slumped into another chair. Mac fixed his gaze on the younger man. "Care to explain that? By your own admission that tape isn't going to win any Oscars for a good show but yet you kept on watching it over and over again until you were able to piece together the evidence we need to help Danny. Why wouldn't you deserve the praise?"

Instead of answering, Adam swiveled back and forth in the chair until Mac reached out and stopped the motion. Still, Adam wouldn't look at him. "Because I was ready to believe the worst about him. The first time I saw the video, I mean. I saw Danny lay into Lindsay like that and I saw my -" He paused.

Mac watched him carefully. He'd long suspected Adam's usual nervousness especially around those in authority stemmed from some deep seated issues from before he came to the lab but never felt it right to press the issue. "Saw your what?"

Adam shook his head. "Saw my worst nightmare of what humanity could be. Sorry, Boss, didn't mean to unload on you. I'll let you get back to work. I'll get that picture to Flack and then go check on Lindsay."

Mac nodded absently and waited until Adam was once more at the door before calling the young man by name. Adam turned to face him and Mac offered him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Don't blame yourself too severely for thinking the worst. As much as we all like and care about Danny; I think we've all thought the worst at least momentarily in the last twenty four hours. The important thing is even if you were ready to believe the worst, you still kept looking for something better to believe in."

Adam smiled wanly. "Thanks Boss."

"No problem. And Adam, when you go see Lindsay, don't tell her about the spray. She's one of the victims here even if she is a co-worker."

"So we're considering Danny a victim too?" There was almost a hopeful note in Adam's tone. Mac looked at the spray bottle sitting on the table.

"Thanks to you, yeah, I think we are."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

_Knock. Knock._

Lindsay looked up from the military magazine she'd been thumbing through. It wasn't exactly the reading material she would have preferred but it beat slowly going out of her mind with boredom. The painkillers still had her brain a little too fuzzy for her to feel up to following the intricate plot of one of the novels Mac had in the apartment. Mac didn't have cable - probably because he was never home long enough for it to be worth having it installed, and daytime programming on regular stations left little to be desired. So she was making due with the magazine and almost praying that someone from the lab would show up to check on her just to break up the monotony of the day. So far, she'd only had one brief visit from Flack but it appeared she was about to get her wish for a visitor.

"Who is it?" She called out, her left hand automatically bracing the pillow against her sore ribs.

"Adam."

"Come on in. The door's not locked." Lindsay offered.

The door opened and the lab tech stepped inside, trying not to be too obvious about the bag he was carrying. As he closed the door behind him, he looked from the door to the young woman stretched out on the couch. With an almost accusatory look, he made a point of locking the door. "Are you seriously joking me or something? I know you're like me and not a native New Yorker but you've been here long enough to know that it's not exactly the best idea to leave your apartment door unlocked. What were you thinking? I could have been anyone."

Had she been able to do so with any hint of finesse, she would have rolled her eyes at him. "What? I made you identify yourself before I told you it was unlocked. I doubt someone with bad intentions would have even bothered to knock. Besides, I promised Mac I wouldn't do anything strenuous and I'm pretty sure that getting up and down to answer the door would qualify. At least that's what my ribs have said every time I've had to get up for something this morning."

Adam shook his head. "Mac said Flack was by earlier. Did you have the door unlocked then? I somehow don't see him liking it any more than I did. And I'm pretty sure he'd give you more of a hard time about it."

She shook her head. "I waited until after he left to decide it was a good plan. Come on in and sit down. Fill me in on what I've been missing."

Adam sat down in the arm chair next to the couch. He'd seen the attack on the video several time before he'd finally covered the screen but even that hadn't prepared him for the bruises that stood out so starkly on Lindsay's otherwise pale face. He couldn't help but reminded of the number of times he'd come home from school to find similar bruises marring his mother's own features. The comparison cut him straight to the quick. "I..I… can't give you any information about what we've discovered about your case. Mac was pretty insistent."

He looked so apologetic that Lindsay felt bad for him. "It's okay, Adam. I understand. I'm just going a little stir crazy being trapped here with pretty much noting to do. I'm so bored that I wouldn't complain about the most tedious evidence to have to analyze."

With a sympathetic smile, Adam handed over the bag he'd been carrying when he entered. "Lucky for you then that I didn't come empty handed. I had a feeling that Mac's apartment might be a little lacking in the entertainment department so I picked up a couple of items that I thought might help."

Lindsay opened the bag, her expression like a kid at Christmas. First she pulled out a couple of movie magazines, ones that she'd once confessed to Adam were a guilty pleasure. She was amazed and touched that he'd remembered. The other item in the bag was a small handheld electronic game of Yatzee.

"I remembered you once saying you used to play all the time with your brothers. I know with a hand in a brace, especially your dominant hand, it can be hard to do practically anything but I saw that and thought you should be able to handle it one handed."

A stray tear of gratitude slipped down her cheek and she crooked her finger at him to get him to lean closer. She kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Adam. This means a lot to me."

Adam cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the affectionate enthusiasm. "Yeah, well, I know what it's like to be temporarily sidelined. Do you need anything else while I'm here? Have you had lunch? How are you feeling?"

"Flack brought me a sandwich from the corner deli when he came by. It was way too early for lunch then but it was something he knew would keep until I was ready to eat. As for how I'm feeling, like an eighteen wheeler ran over me and then backed up to do it again a few more times. Which I guess is an improvement to yesterday when it hurt too much to even make a comparison."

She was trying to make light of the situation but Adam could see the pain still in her eyes. It was a pain Adam knew all to well and he wished there was some way he could take it from her. He was sure the knowledge that Danny probably hadn't been responsible for his actions would help but he'd given his word to Mac that he wouldn't say anything. Still, he had to offer something besides inexpensive tokens of entertainment. "You know we're all here for you, right?"

It was a simple but heartfelt question and it almost reduced her to a complete mess of tears. She did know they were there for her. The part of her that had been embarrassed by what she felt was a weakness on her part had expressed a little bit of annoyance at some of the concern she'd seen the day before but at the same time it was the affirmation she needed to know that the move to New York had been the right one. Outside of Micah, that kind of love and concern from her colleagues had been lacking in Bozeman. Although she couldn't deny that coming to New York had been a great career move, she'd also been seeking more than just a change of scenery. Without realizing it, she'd also been looking for a job that felt more like a family than just work. She'd found that here in spades. Unable to speak past the lump that had formed in her throat, Lindsay could only nod in affirmation to his question.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Thanks Dr. Peterson, I'll be there by seven.." Mac hung up the phone just as Stella came in. It was the first he'd seen her today as she'd been in court but she looked far from happy.

"Mac, you aren't going to believe what the DA just told me."

Mac shook his head, indicating he had no idea. Stella practically threw herself onto the couch in frustration. "He said his office has already gotten five requests for appeals based on the charge that evidence could have been mishandled due to a lab employee testing positive for drug use. How did that information get out?"

Mac didn't like the information any more than Stella did but he really wasn't surprised. "Probably the same way Sinclair found out." He explained about someone using Lindsay's cell phone to put in an anonymous call the night before. "Someone's going to a lot of trouble to make trouble. But in their exuberance, they will make a mistake and we will catch them."

Stella couldn't believe Mac was so calm about it. "But Mac, criminals can go free…"

"It won't happen. Let them request appeals, doesn't mean it's going to happen. Especially once we prove that Danny was innocent."

Stella frowned. "You sound a lot more confident about that than you did last night after talking to Danny. What's changed?"

He explained to her about Adam's find on the video and the spray he'd picked up. "Right now there's no proof that the spray and the steroids are linked but the more I think about the more convinced I am. The woman in the restuarnt took Lindsay's phone. The same phone that was used last night to place an anonymous call to Sinclair telling him that Danny had been taking steroids. How would she know that unless the two were connected?"

Stella considered this and nodded. "Does sound plausible. But how are you going to prove any of this? You are the one who always says we can't just go with our gut, we have to go with the evidence."

"I don't know yet about the steroids. Maybe once we find the woman responsible for spraying Danny, we can get answers to that as well. As far as proving the spray is what altered Danny's personality, I have a plan. I've talked to Dr. Peterson and he's agreed to help me with an experiment tonight. We'll expose Danny to a smaller concentration of the PheromoRage and see if his reactions matches what happened in the diner yesterday. If it does, it'll be the proof we need that he wasn't responsible for his actions when he hurt Lindsay."

"I'm not that happy with Danny right now but is this safe? I don't want him hurt especially if he wasn't responsible."

"That's where Dr. Peterson comes in. He's read studies of this spray and he believes that if he administers a strong sedative as soon as we get the information we need, it'll counter the effects of the spray. Danny won't hurt anyone and it'll prevent his blood pressure from getting too high."

Stella nodded. She wasn't crazy about the idea but trusted Mac's judgment. "Sounds like your evening is going to be pretty busy. Want me to keep Lindsay company tonight?"

"No need." Mac assured her and then braced for the next explosion. "I'm leaving here in a few minutes to head home. I'm taking Lindsay with me to the hospital. She's the one who's going to tell us if Danny's reaction is the same tonight as it was yesterday."

"Mac, you can't do that!" She didn't disappoint him with her reaction. "Lindsay's been through hell. The last thing she needs is to be subjected to a beastlike Danny so soon after yesterday's attack. Yeah, she's tough but that's asking too much of anyone. She's only going to be hurt all over again."

"I'd never let that happen." Mac argued. "Lindsay will be safe. Dr. Peterson and I will be right there and even if something goes wrong before the sedative takes effect, we won't allow Danny to hurt her again."

"Maybe not physically." Stella argued back, hoping to get Mac to change his mind. "But what about mentally? She cares about Danny; hell, I think she could even love him given half a chance. I know what it's like to have someone you thought you trusted and love turn into a monster right before your very eyes. You can't imagine what it does to you; how it shatters your trust in not only that person but in yourself as well. It's the worst kind of hell imaginable. But now you are going to ask her to put herself in the same situation barely twenty four hours later? That's cruel and inhumane. And don't bother to feed me some crap about Lindsay being able to say no if she doesn't think she can handle it. We both know she'd never admit it to us or herself. Not if she thinks it'll help Danny. God, Mac."

Rising from his chair, Mac turn to look out the window at the skyline that usually brought him comfort. Today, there was none to be found. He didn't need Stella to tell him why it was a bad idea; he'd thought of all the same reasons himself. But even knowing it was a bad idea; it was still the only option he had. "I watched the video this afternoon. Watched it from every angle possible trying to see Danny's face at the moment he came into contact with the spray. It's just not there. Lindsay is the only one who say him at the moment his personality changed. I don't want to put her through this any more than you want me to. What choice do I have?"

He didn't add that he couldn't risk telling Lindsay beforehand what he was planning to do. Couldn't risk tainting her reaction with a forewarning. He knew he was literally throwing her to the wolves and he hated himself for it. He knew given the choice Lindsay would agree to help but it didn't make him feel any better.

Stella swore softly and Mac silently echoed the sentiment. "This really sucks."

"I can't argue with you on that one."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Less than thirty minutes later, Mac let himself into his apartment. He was surprised by the pleasing aromas coming from inside and to see the table was set with a feast fit for a king. Lindsay was at the fridge filling two glasses with soda. She looked back at him. "I called the lab to see when you would be coming home and Stella told me you'd already left so I figured it was safe to put things on the table."

Mac frowned. "What happened to doing nothing more strenuous than pushing buttons on the remote?"

"Relax, I didn't cook all this. Your neighbor from down the hall, a really sweet elderly woman brought all of this down. She said she saw you carrying me in yesterday and wanted to do something to help. So she made us dinner. I'm glad she did; I wanted to have something special ready for you when you got home as a thank you for letting me stay here but my idea would have been to call your favorite Chinese take out place and have something delivered. Good meal with no more effort than pushing a few buttons on the phone."

Happier about her explanation, Mac joined her at the table. He had to admit that Mrs. Johnson was a fantastic cook. He shouldn't have been surprised that the elderly woman had insisted on doing something to help. After fixing his plate full of pot roast with potatoes and carrots, he looked at Lindsay. "How would you know which Chinese restaurant to call?"

"I'm not a detective for nothing," Lindsay argued. "You have a well-worn take out menu for Kao Pang Wong on your refrigerator. It's not the closest place to your apartment so it must be there for a reason."

Mac had to admit he was impressed. Peyton had been in his apartment many more times than Lindsay had but she still insisted on calling the place down the street whenever she ordered Chinese for them. Of course there was a difference between a medical examiner and a police detective.

"Mac," Lindsay interjected, her eyes not meeting his. "I really do appreciate you letting me stay here but maybe it would be better if I went back to my apartment after supper. I don't think the painkillers are going to zonk me that much that it wouldn't be safe."

Mac placed his fork beside his plate. "Is there a reason you suddenly don't want to stay here?"

"I don't want to inconvenience you." Before Mac could protest, she continued. "Mrs. Johnson mentioned you had a girlfriend when she dropped off the phone. She went on and on about how happy she was that you were finally dating again and that you seemed pretty happy with her." Lindsay hadn't been sure if Mrs. Johnson had been fishing for information or just subtly warning Lindsay that Mac was taken. Either way, it made her feel bad that she was forcing her boss to put his personal life on hold just because of her. "I won't say anything at work; I figure you don't want it public knowledge or we'd all already know about her"Mac reached over and gave Lindsay's uninjured hand a light squeeze. "Lindsay, you aren't inconveniencing me. My girlfriend," the word rolled almost awkwardly off his tongue feeling strange and awkward. "is out of town for several days. You staying here a couple more days won't be a problem. I promise you. I do appreciate you not saying anything. It's not that I'm keeping her a secret, it's just.." Mac paused, unsure how to explain.

"You don't have to explain Mac. I think I'm the one who said yesterday that what I do on my personal time was none of your business. The same is true for you. For the record though, I am happy for you. Stella and Danny have both told me several times how hard it was for you to lose Claire. While I know nobody can take her place, I'm glad you've found someone who can make you happy. You deserve to be happy."

Would she still feel that way after his own little reconstruction at the hospital? He really wished there was some other way around this. He took a deep breath and plunged into it. "I talked to Dr. Peterson earlier. He's approved a short visit if you feel up to making a quick trip to the hospital. If not, we can put it off til tomorrow."

Lindsay shook her head. "No, that would be great. How is Danny doing?"

"Dr. Peterson said it was a quiet day. Danny won't talk to him about anything that happened but I'm sure that doesn't surprise you any more than it did me. I should warn you; given what happened yesterday, there is no way either Dr. Peterson or I am comfortable leaving you alone with Danny. You don't have to like it but it is a stipulation for getting to see him."

Lindsay didn't protest even though Mac was right, she didn't like it. She felt transported back to her teenage days when her father had insisted on one of her brothers going with her on dates to chaperone. Still, she was worried enough about her friend that she would grudgingly accept whatever stipulations Mac wanted to put on her.

After they finished eating, Mac put away the leftovers, glad to see there was enough to give Lindsay something to eat the next day. Then they left the apartment together to head to the hospital. The ride was silent as each seemed lost in their own thoughts. At the hospital, Mac led the way to Danny's room. A Ziploc baggie that held a pheromone soaked gauze pad was sitting protectively in his suit pocket.

Dr. Peterson met them at the nurse's station. He greeted them warmly and opened the door to Danny's room. The young man looked up almost in surprise as they entered. He studied Lindsay carefully as she came into the room. Even though her bruises looked just as bad if not worse than the day before, she didn't seem as injured and that made him feel only marginally better.

"How are you feeling there, Montana?"

She smiled at him wanly. She didn't want to lie to him but didn't want to make him feel bad either. "Better than yesterday. How about you?"

"Better than yesterday." He parroted. Then he looked at Mac. "Tell me you have good news for me."

"Maybe." Mac answered cryptically. There was no need to put this off; it wasn't going to get any easier no matter how long he waited. "I need you to do something." He led Lindsay to the other side of the room, well out of reach of Danny. She gave him a funny look but didn't protest. The look he gave her offered no room for argument. "Stay put and whatever happens, you are not to step any closer. Do you understand me?"

Lindsay nodded. Mac turned his back to her and reached into his pocket for the baggie. Dr. Peterson was standing close, but not too close to Danny. Mac knew that he had a syringe full of a powerful sedative at the ready in his lab pocket. Mac passed the baggie to Danny. "Open that and take a quick whiff."

Danny did as he was instructed. The effect was almost immediate. Lindsay drew in a sharp breath as once again, he didn't resemble the man she'd grown to care about deeply. Instead, he was once more the stranger responsible for causing her so much pain just the day before. Danny lunged toward her and Mac, a murderous intent in his eye.

"Bitch. You can't get enough of it can you?"

Mac couldn't help but wonder why Danny had immediately fixated his rage on Lindsay when there were two other people in the room. He wondered if it had something to do with the way the pheromones interacted with the brain. As Danny lunged toward Lindsay though, Mac stepped between them, catching the younger man firmly by the arms. There was no way in hell that he was going to let Danny harm Lindsay again. Mac was surprised by the strength Danny seemed to possess and wondered how much of it was due to the steroids and how much was because of the pheromone spray. Regardless, Danny was steadily pushing Mac backward getting closer and closer to where Lindsay was standing. Dr. Peterson surged forward and quickly injected the contents of the syringe into Danny's neck. It took a few minutes before Danny's movements slowed and he slumped into Mac's arms. The two men returned Danny to his bed and then Mac turned to check on Lindsay.

The young woman had backed against the wall before slumping down to the ground. Her knees were drawn up close to her chest in what had to be a painful position and her head was buried against her legs, blocking her view. She was visibly shaking as she rocked back and forth from her place on the floor. Mac knelt beside her and quietly cupped her shoulder. "Lindsay? Sweetheart?"

She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. The only color left in her face was from the bruises. He felt bad about what he had been forced to do to her even if there had been no other choice. "What did you do to him? What was in that bag? It was just like yesterday. Once second he's Danny and the next some sort of monster. You did that to him. Why?"

Mac hugged her gently to him but she remained rigid in his arms. "I'm sorry, Lindsay. I had to know if it was the same. I couldn't warn you beforehand. It's okay; you're safe."

Suddenly she shoved him away, surprisingly strong given her injuries. "Damn you, Mac. Warn me beforehand? What about warning him? He trusted you. He took that bag and followed your orders because he trusted you. And for what? So you could turn him into an unrecognizable monster? How could you? Damn you to hell and back, Mac."

From his position on the floor where he'd landed when she pushed him, Mac could only watch as Lindsay struggled painfully to her feet and ran from the room. He lowered his head in defeat. He'd proved the cause of Danny's attack but at what cost?


	12. Chapter 11

Author's Notes: The question was asked in a review how many more chapters will there be in this story. The truth is I have no idea. I would think probably another five to ten but no guarantees. It all depends on the direction the story takes. I hope you continue to enjoy. There are some dark moments in this chapter so be warned and don't kill me before you get to the end.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 11

Flack waited almost impatiently as the elevator made it's way to the floor Danny's room was located on. He wasn't sure if he'd be allowed to see his friend but he had to try. His conversation with Polly at the pharmacy earlier had raised more questions than answers in his mind and he hoped Danny could supply them. He was pretty well versed in the normal hospital visiting hours having been both patient and visitor over the years but he knew that the psych unit that currently housed his best friend operated under different rules. Mac had been allowed to see Danny the night before so he hoped he'd be able to convince them to let him have at least a few minutes. His excuse would be that it was police business but the more honest truth was that he was concerned about his friend. He needed to see for himself that Danny was okay. He hadn't been okay the day before and that had scared Flack more than he cared to say.

The elevator doors slid open and Flack stepped out into the corridor. He was rehearsing what he'd say to the nurse at the desk when he saw a small female came tearing down the hall in a blind run. His first impulse was that a patient was trying to escape and he wondered if he should intervene if she came closer. It took him more than a second to realize that it wasn't a patient but Lindsay and that she was upset. He set his feet firmly so that when she ran into him he could absorb the shock and close his arms protectively around her. He wasn't sure if she recognized him or not but she didn't fight against him. He towered over her petite frame and he easily glanced over head to see Mac and Dr. Peterson emerge from a room that he presumed was probably Danny's. He frowned, wondering what could have prompted Lindsay's sudden distress. The look on Mac's face didn't give any indication of the problem but appeared relieved and grateful that he was there for her.

"Lindsay?" He kept his tone extremely gentle and quiet, hoping a calm demeanor would affect the same response from her.

"Horrible…Mac….Danny…trusted…horrible." Her random words made no sense to Flack but it was more than obvious that whatever had happened in Danny's room had shaken her to the core. It was too much for her; her sobs and broken speech warring with her attempts to breath choking her. He'd spent a couple of summers in college working as a lifeguard and in that capacity had fished more than a few swimmers from the pool after a near drowning. Even with his training, it had been scary listening to them struggle to breathe amidst painful wracking coughs, knowing there was little he could do until they were able to catch their breath and dispel the water from their lungs. He felt the same way right now with Lindsay, only worse because he knew from experience how painful such coughs could be with busted ribs.

He wanted to know what had happened but that was going to be impossible until he could get her to calm down enough to catch her breath. Seeing a cart of fresh linens nearby, he reached out and snagged a folded blanket and pressed it to her stomach as a brace against the coughs. Her knees buckled slightly and he knew she was close to hyperventilating. He tightened his hold on her. There was a small waiting room off to the side that appeared empty but had comfortable looking seats. He led her to them and sat beside her, trying to remember everything he'd been taught about handling someone in her current condition.

Dr. Peterson could tell Mac was blaming himself for the scene that had just transpired. It had been obvious to him from even before he met the man that he was more than just a boss to his employees. Here was a man that considered the people who worked under him as friends, maybe even family. He could see the pain on Mac's face and knew the detective was feeling helpless in this moment.

"I could giver her a sedative as well. Just a little something to help calm her down a little."

Mac shook his head, her words of recrimination still stinging in his head. She'd accused him of betraying Danny's trust by not warning him what was happening. He wanted to ease her suffering but he'd had enough of playing God with his friends' lives for the night. "She's had very little control over anything that's happened since this all began. At the very least she should be allowed to express the emotions she's feeling without interference. If she feels she needs something, she'll ask for it. Until then, no."

Dr. Peterson frowned. "I'm all for people venting their emotions but in a healthy way. What I'm seeing right now isn't healthy for her. She can't catch her breath and I can't even imagine the pain she's feeling right now."

"Yeah, she's in pain and I don't think it's all physical." Mac admitted. "She feels like I let Danny down and maybe she's right. I was so caught up in proving his innocence that maybe I didn't stop to consider the consequences of what I was doing."

"You don't strike me as a man accustomed to having second doubts. Yeah, it was a bad scene but you wouldn't have done it without a good reason. You weren't trying to hurt either one of them. Once she's able to calm down and think clearly, she'll realize that."

Mac wasn't worried about whether she'd realized he'd been doing his job or not; he was worried about whether she'd ever forgive him for doing such a good job at it. He only hoped Flack was having success in calming her down.

In the waiting room, Flack was pretty sure his reassurances were falling on deaf ears. In fact he still wasn't sure if she knew he was there. There was no doubt in his mind that she was hyperventilating and while he'd had to work with witnesses at horrific crime scenes and managed to calm them down, it was completely different when it was a friend.

"Can't….breathe." Lindsay warned.

He rubbed her back. "That's because you're hyperventilating. You gotta slow your breathing down. I'm going to start counting and I want you to breath in on the numbers one and five and exhale on three." He slowly started counting up to five and then back down to one. It took almost ten full repetitions before Lindsay was able to match the rhythm Flack was asking of her but once she did her breathing gradually slowed and the sobs quieted. Even after the worst had passed and she was leaning heavily against him crying softly, he didn't press her to tell him what had happened. He didn't want to chance sending her right back into hysterics.

Time passed - he wasn't sure how much because his watch was behind Lindsay's back - and with agonizing slowness she was calming down. He continued his slow count up to five and then back down to one to help her maintain a good breathing rate but his brain was working over time trying to figure out what could have happened to have upset her in the first place. She'd obviously been in Danny's room and whatever had happened to upset her had happened there.

"Why did he do it?" Lindsay whispered softly into his shirt that was damp through with her tears.

Flack's heart broke for the young woman. After everything that had happened between the couple that should have been, Flack knew it was only a matter of time before Lindsay, no matter how strongly she wanted to believe in Danny, started to question what had happened. "I don't know, Linds. So much of this has me scratching my head but there's one thing I'm sure of. There's no way Danny in his right mind would ever willingly hurt you."

"Not Danny. Mac."

Now, Flack was even more confused. What had Mac done? Though they had all had their moments of doubt about Danny's innocence; well, all but maybe Lindsay, Mac had been working overtime trying to find anything they had missed that would protect Danny's freedom and his job. Adam had dropped off a picture earlier and had intimated that the woman in the photograph may have played an integral role in what had happened in the diner. Flack hadn't recognized her but if she was responsible for this current nightmare, then Flack was determined to move heaven and earth to find her. "Help me out here. I don't know what you're talking about, Lindsay."

Haltingly, Lindsay began to explain what had happened in Danny's room. About mid way through the story, he had to stop her and redirect her breathing because she was in danger of once more hyperventilating. Finally, he had the whole picture. It wasn't a pretty one. No wonder she was so upset. What could Mac have been thinking? Flack shook his head; he knew exactly what Mac had been thinking. The same thing Flack had been thinking since he arrived at the diner to find what had taken place.

"Lindsay, I'm sorry." Suddenly Mac was there as well, kneeling in front of them. "Adam discovered on the video that Danny was sprayed with something just before he attacked yesterday. He had a theory about what it could have been and I had to verify it. The only way I could irrefutably prove the theory was with a blind test. I'm not proud of what I did but at least now we can say without a doubt that Danny wasn't responsible for his actions yesterday. I know it might not seem like it but I agonized over this decision. I didn't want to hurt either you or Danny but I less want Danny to lose his job or his freedom because of something he couldn't control."

Lindsay's accusatory glare cut right through him. "How many more times does Danny have to be drugged unknowingly? I don't care what any of you think, he didn't take those steroids knowingly. Now you say he was sprayed in the diner with another drug and then you make him inhale the same drug tonight. And in response to that Dr. Peterson injects him with yet another drug? When does it all end?"

Flack tightened his hold on Lindsay although she seemed at least marginally calmer than she was earlier. "So does this clear Danny?"

"Of the attack at least." Mac admitted. Lindsay was still looking daggers at him. He sighed and looked at Flack. "You okay here for a few more minutes? I should call Sinclair and give him the update. He was accusing me earlier of not keeping him informed of what was going on. This is one call I'm more than happy to make."

Flack nodded and the head of the crime lab disappeared again. "Can I ask you something, Monroe?"

She nodded almost wearily.

"I've heard all about those reconstructions you like to do; I've even got suckered into a couple of them in the last year. Why do you get so excited about them?"

Lindsay shrugged, not sure where the question was coming from. "Ever put together a puzzle?"

Don nodded. "Not lately but yeah, my sister and I used to spend hours putting them together. I remember once, we'd spent about three weeks on one puzzle only to discover at the very end that there were two pieces missing. I was so mad."

"Sometimes a crime can be the same way. You've spent hours working on it and you get to the point that you believe there's a piece missing. Without it, there's no way we'll catch the perp responsible for committing the crime. Sometimes that reconstruction ends up being that missing piece, you just have to get it turned just right."

"I'm not saying I agree with Mac's way of turning that puzzle piece but isn't what he did tonight pretty much the same thing you do with your reconstructions? I'm not saying you can't be mad at him; what he did sucked a big one but maybe he didn't mean to be as cruel as you've decided he is."

He was almost afraid that she was going to push him away but she didn't. Instead she seemed to be mulling over his words. "I'm glad Danny was proven innocent but there should have been a way that wouldn't hurt him."

"I don't think he was hurt, Lindsay. He didn't have any memory of the attack. Maybe this spray causes a temporary loss of memory."

Lindsay rose unsteadily and walked over to look out the window into the New York skyline. "He didn't remember hurting me but it didn't stop him from knowing something was wrong and being upset. What happens later tonight when the sedative wears off and he wakes up knowing something happened but not knowing what? Do you think the nurses or Dr. Peterson are going to be willing to explain it to him?"

"What if I see if they'll let me stay here tonight so I can be here when he wakes up? I'll fill in the gaps for him." Flack offered without hesitation.

Slowly Lindsay turned to look at him, her expression hopeful. "You'd do that?"

He nodded. "I don't have anything better to do tonight." It wasn't exactly the truth. He'd planned on stopping and picking up a couple of sandwiches after he left the hospital to take to the precinct to share with Jess; a sort of thank-you for being there for him the night before. But as much as he wanted to spend the time with Jess, it didn't seem as important as being here. "Danny's my friend. I want to be here for him."

He could almost feel the relief radiating off her in waves, even though she was now across the room from him. He was glad he'd made the offer and also glad he hadn't called Jess at work to tell her of his plans. Though he didn't doubt she would whole heartedly support his plan even if she had known.

"You okay here for a moment? I'll go clear it with Dr. Peterson." He waited until she nodded before leaving the waiting room. He didn't see either Mac or the doctor but a quick check at the nurse's station led him down the hallway to the office shared by the doctor's on call. He stopped just outside the door when he heard Dr. Peterson questioning Mac.

"Have you convinced Detective Monroe to talk to a professional yet?"

Flack frowned but felt better when he heard Mac's answer. "Haven't broached the subject yet."

"With all due respect, Detective Taylor; I can somewhat understand your earlier reluctance to sedate her without her consent but what could be the harm in suggesting she talk to a therapist about what happened? I don't care how strong she is; nobody can go through what happened to her without it causing some scars. The fact that she just witnessed Detective Messer once more revert to the monster he became yesterday without any regard to her own safety concerns me even more than her lack of defensive wounds do. As her supervisor and her friend, I would think her disregard for her own well-being would be of utmost concern for you as well."

Flack couldn't stay silent any longer. He stepped around the corner into the office. "Is that what you think just happened? You think she was just upset about what happened to Danny?" The two men seated in the officer turned to look at him, surprised to see him there. He pressed on. "I guess I could see where the doc here doesn't know Monroe well enough but come on Mac, surely you saw through to what she wasn't saying."

Mac nodded wearily. It was what was bothering him more than anything. He wasn't sure if it came from being the youngest of six with five brothers to tag along after or a remnant of the trauma she seemed so determined not to drag with her to New York but Lindsay Monroe was not one to admit to any weakness or fear. She had channeled all of her anger and tears into her perceived attack against Danny's trust to avoid admitting just how scared she'd been. She couldn't or wouldn't admit that in that instant in Danny's room, she'd been transported back to the diner when everything she'd held as scared truth about the man she worked with and, if everyone at the lab was correct in their suppositions, loved had disappeared in a flash. It shamed Mac because while he had considered the implications of what he could be doing to Danny and rationalized those doubts that he was doing it for Danny's own good; he hadn't really considered how Lindsay would react. Instead, he'd counted on her being strong enough and vested enough in Danny's innocence to handle it. He'd been wrong and in the end had caused someone he considered like a daughter immeasurable pain. "She okay now?"

Flack shrugged. "Hard to tell with her, but for now, yeah. I think so. Wouldn't want to be in her dreams tonight though. Can't imagine it's going to be all sunshine and wheat fields. She wants me to stay here with Danny tonight. Wants a friendly face that Danny knows to be here when he wakes up to explain what happened."

Mac frowned. "He won't remember it any more than he remembered the attack."

Flack nodded, having just used the same argument with Lindsay. "But he was aware of the missing time and that something had happened to cause him to be cuffed to the stretcher. I hope he doesn't remember it but what harm could it do to be here just in case?"

Dr. Peterson rose from his desk. "I'll let the nurses know it's okay. Please, consider what I said about Detective Monroe. I know that the two of you know her much better than I do but I do know how the mind works. If you think she's suppressing her own emotions behind her concern for her partner, then how is she going to recover. Whether she doesn't want to appear weak or if she feels that admitting she was frightened of him is a betrayal of their friendship, she needs an outlet for those thoughts. If she's not comfortable expressing them to her friends, then perhaps she would a professional."

Mac stood as well. "I'll talk to her but it'll be her decision." He hoped it was a promise he could make her as well but he knew Sinclair was still unhappy with the situation and might insist otherwise. He could only hope she'd see reason and he wouldn't have to make it a command.

The three men made their way back to the waiting room and were surprised to find it empty. Flack looked around confused. "Where's Lindsay? I swear she was right here not five minutes ago."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

Lindsay Monroe took a step closer to the bed that held the sedated man she called both partner and friend. After Flack had left, she had to see Danny again for herself. She told herself and the nurse who let her in that she just wanted to make sure he was okay but it wasn't the complete truth and a small corner of her mind knew it. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, seeing Danny instantly transform from the man who had captured her heart to some unrecognizable monster capable of inflicting such pain had shaken her to her very core.

Too much was going on yesterday when it had happened at the diner. She'd been in too much pain to even give it much consideration and even after she was safe she'd been too busy trying to convince everyone that she was okay and that Danny shouldn't be blamed to dwell on or even acknowledge her fear. Seeing it again today in the safety of this room, knowing instinctively even in her anger that Mac and Dr. Peterson wouldn't let Danny hurt her had opened a floodgate of emotion that she wasn't sure how to close.

Her hands were shaking and her knees threatened to buckle under her weight as she drew closer. Finally she knelt next to the mattress. She'd watched him sleep before. Several times in fact when they were hanging out after a long day of work watching a movie or some sort of sporting event on TV and he'd dose off. Many times she'd eased his glasses off so he would be more comfortable, almost giggling at how boyish he seemed in his sleep. Now, in this medicated sleep, he didn't resemble anything like a little boy. The sedative had taken the harshest edge of the drugged reaction but there was still a hardness to his expression that suggested had he been conscious he would have still been a dangerous person. It broke her heart to see him that way. She would have thought she'd cried all the moisture out of her body earlier but a couple of leftover tears still made the trek down her cheeks.

"Oh, Danny. Why? Why would someone do this to you? To us?" Lindsay lowered her head to the mattress, the lack of good sleep the night before, the continued lethargy caused by the painkillers, and the emotional upheaval of the last hour catching up with her.

Suddenly a hand was gripping her hair tightly, jerking her head backward. She stifled a cry as she looked up to see that Danny had awakened. The expression on his face was just as murderous as it had been the day before. The grip he had on the back of her head threatened to pull her hair out by its roots. Once more tears filled her eyes but these were strictly from pain.

"Bitch. Can't get enough, can you?"

_Surely the camera was picking this up. _Lindsay consoled herself with. Any minute doctors, nurses, probably even Mac and Flack would be in to help her. In the meantime, she had to do what she could to talk Danny out of this rage he once more found himself in.

"Danny, you don't want to do this. It's just the drugs in your system. You're better than this."

"I'm better than a lot of things but you didn't want to take a chance on it. I'll show you."

Without another word he practically launched himself at her sending her sprawling to the floor. He was growling with undisguised anger while she was unable to emit so much as a squeak with the air being knocked from her lungs.

"You fucking stood me up. Who do you think you are? You're nothing but a piece of tail, not even much of that even. I don't know what I was even thinking even asking you out. Probably felt sorry for you or maybe I just wanted to see what the country girl had to offer. I bet they don't even know how to fuck properly in Montana. Is that why you stood me up? 'Fraid you can't handle what I had to offer you? I doubt you can but let's see."

He pressed his lips against hers. How many nights had she dreamed of kissing him? Feeling his tongue sweep into hers so that every inch of her mouth felt thoroughly lavished with attention? But this didn't just feel wrong, it was scary. She kept her lips tightly together not allowing his tongue the entry he was seeking. He growled again and then bit her lower lip sharply, drawing blood. She couldn't suppress the cry of pain and in that moment, his tongue pushed its way into her mouth almost gagging her. Weakly she pushed against his chest, trying to free herself but he was too strong. In her mind she kept telling herself over and over again that this wasn't really Danny. That he wouldn't really hurt her like this. He broke off the kiss and she was glad, hopeful that maybe he was seeing reason at last. Instead he grinned wickedly.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard your eyes are gonna pop out of your head. And even though you're gonna scream and protest and claim you hate me for it, deep inside you're gonna love every minute of it and not be able to get enough."

He shoved her shirt upward revealing her bruised stomach. Lindsay was sure once he saw the bruises he'd snap back to himself, horrified at what he'd been about to do. Instead it seemed like it excited him into a bigger frenzy.

He pressed one hand into the worst of the bruising causing her to cry out in pain. He shook his head. "It's all your fault, you know. You must have wanted it cause you didn't do anything to stop me. Just like you aren't going to stop me now because you know you want this."

"Danny, please."

_Lindsay_

Where was the help that should have been watching the camera? Why were they leaving her at Danny's mercy? It was her fault she knew for going back into his room but she'd figured the sedative would have lasted longer. She tried to push him away again but he was too strong in his drugged state and she was too weak in her wounded one. She was completely helpless. She closed her good eye tightly so she wouldn't have to see what the man she cared about was about to do.

_Lindsay, Sweetheart, wake up._

With a sharp jerk of her body, Lindsay opened her eyes. She was no longer lying on the floor of Danny's hospital room but was still kneeling beside his bed. Lifting her head she saw that Danny was still sleeping peacefully beside her. She frowned and turned around to see Mac, Flack, and Dr. Peterson standing in an almost semicircle behind her. It took her several seconds to realize she must have fallen asleep and immediately into a nightmare. Lindsay hoped the three men couldn't see how shaken she was or how rapidly her heart was beating.

Mac knelt beside her and lightly thumbed away of stray tendril of her hair from her face. He felt bad that his actions tonight had only added to the stress she was feeling. "You're exhausted and probably hurting. I know you are pretty upset with me right now and I can fully understand if you don't want to stay at my place tonight. Stella would be glad for you to stay with her; even Sid came up from the morgue this afternoon to check on you and said he and Alice would love for you to stay with them if you needed to. Say the word and I'll take you where you want to go but you need to go somewhere and get some rest. Flack's going to stay with Danny and he'll explain everything."

She glanced back to Danny's sleeping form, still trying to process in her mind that it had all been a dream. Of course it had been a dream; she couldn't believe that even a drugged out Danny would have been so cruel. She pressed her braced hand against her ribs; even though she hadn't been knocked to the floor and pinned there by Danny as she had dreamed, they were still protesting greatly.

"You okay, there, Monroe?" Flack inserted, concerned that she hadn't said anything.

Slowly she nodded and then looked back at Mac. She took a deep breath. "I don't like what you did but Flack helped me see why you did it. I'll stay with you. Can we just go? I think I've had enough for today."

Mac nodded and helped her rise. He wasn't sure what had happened in the room any more than Flack was but whatever it was had obviously upset her more than his own actions. He reached in his pocket for a handkerchief and handed it to her. "Your lip is bleeding."

"It is?" Lindsay frowned pressing the thin white material to her lip. When she pulled it back she saw that it was now dotted in red. She could remember Danny biting her bottom lip trying to gain access but that had been a dream. She must have bitten her own lip as she slept by Danny's bedside.

Dr. Peterson knew the signs of someone coming out from a nightmare still confused by what was real and what was dream. He was sure that was what happened to Lindsay; he'd been afraid that tonight's actions on top of what had happened yesterday would be too much for the young woman. "I made this offer to Detective Taylor but he wouldn't make the decision for you. I can give you a few sleeping pills that will help you sleep dreamlessly tonight. If you are interested."

After that nightmare, Lindsay was almost willing to take the doctor up on his offer but in light of everything that had happened, couldn't bring herself to do so. She shook her head. "Thanks but I think the only drug I want tonight is a pain pill or two once I get back to Mac's apartment." She turned to Mac, almost pleadingly. "Can we go now?"

Mac nodded and started to lead her out of the room. At the doorway, she paused and cast one more look toward Danny. She pressed the handkerchief back to her lip to keep from biting it again. Flack sensed her hesitation and gave her a quick hug. "You worry about yourself tonight. Danny'll be fine; I'll watch over him."

She nodded and let Mac lead her out of the room. As the door closed behind him he turned to look back at Danny. He shook his head. "You're my best friend and I love you like a brother. But I swear to you on everything that is holy that you'd better be worth the pain she's putting herself through for you."


	13. Chapter 12

Author's Notes: Hope you enjoy this chapter. I plan on getting a new chapter up for Begin Anew up hopefully before the weekend.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 12

The ride back to Mac's apartment was made in almost complete silence. As Mac guided the Avalanche through the normal busy late evening traffic, he kept stealing glances at the young woman sitting next to him. She was too busy staring out the window, her expression almost unreadable. He was pretty sure something had transpired in Danny's room before they had entered but he wasn't sure what. Danny had been heavily sedated but that didn't mean Lindsay hadn't had to confront her emotions over everything that had happened. He wasn't completely as convinced as Dr. Peterson that Lindsay needed to see a professional but he knew she needed to talk to someone. But after destroying her trust earlier by not telling either her or Danny what was going to happen with the drug, he wasn't sure he was the one to talk to her. Stella was a logical choice having been through a similar situation and he made a decision to call his second-in-command once Lindsay retired for the night.

Tonight, he wasn't as lucky to find a space to park in front of his building so he drove down the block to the parking garage. He found the closest space possible and pulled in. Turning off the engine, he looked once more at Lindsay who had made no move to get out of the vehicle. Mac sighed in the darkness of the vehicle. "Lindsay, I'm sorry I …"

"Stop." Lindsay's voice was quiet but demonstrated a strength he wasn't sure she actually possessed after everything that had happened. "Don't apologize again because I'm not ready to do the same. I might think you under reacted by not thinking of the affect your actions would have on Danny but I KNOW I over reacted afterward. Maybe we should just leave it alone for now."

Mac nodded, concerned to hear that she was still just concerned about Danny. It only fueled the worry he had about the lack of defensive wounds from the attack the day before. "Lindsay, I'm pretty sure even if Danny is initially upset when he finds out what I did, he'll accept it when he finds out the assault charges have been dropped. I feel worse about what pain I caused you. Without any regard to your feelings I brought you face to face with the memory of your attack. That couldn't have been easy for you and it was unconscionable on my part."

She shrugged, not wanting Mac to know the full extent of her emotional turmoil. "I'm okay."

"I'm not." He admitted frankly. She seemed determined not to show any weakness. Mac was torn between not wanting to press the subject which would only upset her further and wanting to ensure she knew he was there for her. His worry won over and he pressed on. "Lindsay, do you consider me a strong person? Not so much in a physical sense but emotionally."

The question caught her off guard but she nodded without hesitation. "Probably one of the strongest people I know."

"From the moment I saw you lying on that stretcher yesterday I haven't been okay. This has bothered me more than I can tell you and I'm only a bystander. It's not a weakness on your part to admit that this is hurting you and I don't mean just physically."

Lindsay didn't answer one way or the other but effectively terminated the conversation by opening the car door and sliding out of the Avalanche. Mac sighed once again and resisted the urge to bang his head against the steering wheel in frustration. He couldn't figure out if she was just that stubborn or if she was that much in denial. Neither answer bode well for him.

He didn't have to increase his pace to catch up with her because she wasn't walking fast. Inwardly, he cursed himself for not thinking ahead and dropping her off at the door before parking. He might not have been able to avoid parking in the garage but that didn't mean he had to force her to make the trek as well. Automatically his arm went around her waist for support. Her reaction was immediate and severe as she pulled stiffly away from him and stepped to the side. Mac hung his head assuming she was still upset with him.

Lindsay paled as she realized what she'd done. She hadn't been able to control her reaction to Mac's touch but was worried that he would question her further about it. She was glad he didn't say anything but followed a couple of paces behind. She was physically spent before they even got to the apartment building but refused to admit it to Mac. Once in the elevator she allowed herself to slump against the inner one corner of the car as it made its journey upward. Her eyes were closed but she could almost feel Mac's worried gaze boring into her. She didn't care; she was too tired to pretend to be okay. When the elevator dinged its arrival to Mac's floor, she pushed away from the wall.

Mac unlocked his door and let Lindsay enter the apartment first. "Can I get you anything? Something to drink, eat, a pain pill?"

"Pain killer would be great but I think I want a shower first. Do you mind?"

Mac shook his head and Lindsay silently made her way to the spare bedroom. As soon as the door closed behind her he reached for his cell phone and dialed the first number on speed dial. It only took two rings before it was answered. "Stella, it's me."

Once she was in the bathroom with the door locked behind her, Lindsay allowed the shaking she'd forcibly been keeping at bay to break through. Her thoughts were all in a turmoil, threatening to cause her more harm than Danny's fists had ever had a chance to. With shaky hands, she peeled over her clothes making sure not to look in the mirror. She didn't need to see her reflection or the bruises that glared back at her mockingly. The last thing she removed was the brace that covered her wrist, glad to at least momentarily relieve the constant scrapping of the bruises there.

She turned the water on as hot as she could stand it without scalding herself and stepped inside. She was glad the plastic chair was there because she was pretty sure her legs wouldn't have been able to hold her up for long.

The water cascaded over her sore muscles offering at least a little relief from the pain that had gotten close to being out of control since the pain pill she'd taken hours earlier. She was grateful for the water for a different reason though. She couldn't help but feel dirty and not the kind of dirty that easily washed off with soap and water. Even though she knew no amount of washing would scrub away the bad feelings that seemed to be crawling all over her skin, she had to try. Lathering up a wash cloth with the strawberry scented body wash she kept in her gym bag at work, she began to bathe off. Tears ran down her cheeks as she did so.

It had only been a dream. Danny hadn't attacked her in his hospital room, hadn't said those foul and hurtful words, but still the memory of the nightmare gripped her body worse than if he actually had. How could her brain had even suggested that he would ever act that way toward her? She felt like she had betrayed their friendship by even having the nightmare in the first place. She couldn't bear the fact that her subconscious would imagine such violence any more than she could accept that her body had involuntarily cringed and reacted negatively when he had suddenly lunged at her after inhaling the scented bag Mac had handed him.

Their relationship went deeper than just mere friendship even if the sudden realization that her past had come back to the forefront of her life had prevented her from seeing how far it could go. There were parts of her life that she hadn't allowed him to be privy to and she was sure there were things she didn't know about him. That aside, she whole-heartedly believed that he knew her better than anyone else did outside maybe her own family and Micah and she him. There was no doubt in her mind that he would never willingly hurt her; had the drugs not been in his system he wouldn't have attacked her. Her heart believed that and so did her mind, why was her body and subconscious supplying a different reaction?

The water washed away the soap as she reached for the bottle of body wash and once more soaped up the wash cloth for a second scrubbing. She knew she had hurt him terribly when she had stood him up for their date. She also knew that her stand-offish "it's not you, it's me" excuse had hurt him even worse but he hadn't held it against her. Instead he had offered however much of a relationship she could handle even if that was only friendship. In the weeks that had followed the date that never was, he had been both friendly and concerned. Any awkwardness had been more on her own part than any reaction of his. Therefore, his painful, filthy words from her dream would never have actually crossed his lips but they had crossed her mind on many occasions and not just since the date.

Why would he be interested in her? What did she have to offer the handsome man whose almost sarcastic grin could melt her heart and immediately lighten up the dreariest of days? She wasn't the kind of girl who turned heads, especially not heads that could attract any woman of their choice. Her experience with guys or lack of it had long convinced her of that. She wondered sometimes if her inexperience and naivety with men flashed like a beacon over her head. She believed it must because guys were either not interested in her at all or expected her to be so grateful for their attention that she would be an easy and willing conquest for their own needs and then discard like yesterday's garbage. Danny was different though and seemed to genuinely care about her and see in her something she couldn't even see in herself.

If he knew what images her mind was producing and the doubts that her body if not her mind were raising in her, would he feel the same? How could he? Any hope she might have had with him would be over before it had ever started.

The hot water was slowly turning cold as she continued to lather and rinse off only to smear the soap over her once again. Her skin that wasn't marked with bruises was turning to red under the abuse she was causing herself. Her body still felt dirty with her traitorous thoughts but continuing her cleansing onslaught would only cause more pain and she didn't want that.

She did a final rinse and turned the water off. She dried off and gingerly dressed for bed. She was hurting and knew a pain pill would at least take the worst of the edge of the pain. But taking a pill meant returning to the living room for the prescription bottle and water and she wasn't sure she had the energy to do much more than crawl into the bed and pull the covers over her. Besides, she was pretty sure the evidence of her crying would be more than obvious to the casual observer let alone a trained investigator like Mac. She didn't want to think of answers to the questions she was sure it would bring up.

As she exited the bathroom, a fresh wave of tears filled her eyes as she realized she didn't have to make the choice. Sitting on he nightstand next to the bed were the bottle of pills and a full bottle of water. Mac must have put them there while she was in the shower. She took two pills and washed them down with half the bottle of water. Then she pulled the covers to her chin. She drifted off to sleep almost immediately wishing she'd asked Mac about her cell phone.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

It was almost one in the morning when Danny started to stir from his drug induced sleep. It started as just a moan but it was enough to wake Flack who was dozing lightly on the mattress Dr. Peterson had arranged to have brought into the room. Flack sat up, blinking the sleep from his eyes. Danny had been completely motionless for the longest time so it was, in a way, reassuring to see him once more twisting on the bed. Still, he didn't wish bad dreams on him either.

"Danny?" Flack kept his voice low so as not to scare the still sleeping man.

Danny opened his eyes, having to look around to get his bearings. When he saw Flack in the room with him he rubbed his face wearily. "They running a two-for-one special in this hellhole or did something else happen?"

Flack smirked, glad to see Danny's humor wasn't completely gone. "What do you remember?"

Danny groaned at the feeling of déjà vu that washed over him. The only thing really different about waking up this time and what had happened in the Emergency room yesterday was that he wasn't strapped to the bed. Something had happened; he was sure of it. But what and had anyone else been hurt? "What should I remember?" He practically growled in frustration.

Flack didn't answer but instead fixed his unwavering gaze on Danny. The brain-fuzzy CSI sat up, leaning against the wall tiredly. He forced himself to think back. "Not much to remember when you're stuck in a small padded room with just a headshrinker for company."

Flack frowned. Mac had said that Danny wouldn't remember being drugged but the day before he had at least remembered going in to the diner. Did he not remember Mac and Lindsay even coming in? "That it?"

"This shit is getting old, man." Danny warned lowly. "I get you are fishing for something but you gotta see it from my side. I've got these gaps in my memory and I don't know why. Do you know why this is happening to me? Cut me some slack. Why are you here?"

Flack felt sorry for Danny; he couldn't imagine how he would feel in Danny's place, but he could imagine it was scary having blanks where memories should be. "I'm here because I promised Lindsay I would be. I promise you that I'll explain everything but I have to know what you remember first."

At the mention of Lindsay's name, Danny had a sudden flash of seeing her being in this room with him and his heart began to hammer in his chest. She had come in with Mac. He'd been both glad to see her and scared she was going to blame him. And then just like at the diner, the rest was a colossal blank. He brought his head back sharply against the wall but its soft nature kept him from hurting himself. The lower lid of his eyes were red as he looked back at Flack. "Montana and Mac came in. Once again she was with me and I don't remember what happened. Dang it, please tell me I didn't hurt her any worse than I already did."

"You didn't hurt her." Flack quickly reassured him. "Danny, Mac has had everyone at the lab working overtime to figure out what caused you to attack the way you did. Adam discovered something that could prove your innocence but Mac had to test the theory first."

Danny looked mildly reassured but not completely convinced. "I thought it was the steroids in my system that caused the reaction. And before you ask like everyone else has been asking, I swear to you I don't know how I got the steroids. Are you telling me there was something more?"

Danny had touched on one of the issues that Flack wanted to discuss with him but knew he had to finish reassuring the other man first. "Yeah, a major something more. Someone dosed you with a drug called PheromoRage."

Danny paled and cursed. Flack frowned. "You know it?"

Danny nodded. "Aiden and I caught a case a while back that dealt with S&M. Seemed freaky to me so afterward I read up on the subject a little more trying to figure out how that kind of shit turned people on. Read about it in my research. But I don't get it, Flack. Even though the drug is supposed to lower people's inhibitions and make them more aggressive, it still doesn't explain the level of injuries I caused Montana. I could have killed her. The drug isn't supposed to make people that dangerous. As twisted as I think the whole S&M world is, it's not about killing each other."

Flack shrugged; so far Danny was taking this better than he would have thought. "The steroids in your system must have made the reaction worse. I don't know. Creeps me out. I've worked this job long enough to know that this world is full of all kinds of people but what kind of sick mind thinks something like this up?"

"You said Mac had to test the theory. Is that what I don't remember about last night? He dosed me to confirm it was what happened before? Damn, that had to be a tough call for him. Tell me that Lindsay wasn't in the room any longer? Surely he wouldn't take a chance of me hurting her again."

Flack hesitated and Danny groaned. Flack then explained, giving a reassurance first and foremost. "You didn't hurt her. From what I was told, you lunged for her and said some things but both Mac and Dr. Peterson made sure nothing happened. I don't understand it, Danny. I would have figured if you'd gone for anybody in the room at the time, it would have been the doc. I know you were pretty pissed at all of his questions yesterday and I know how you feel about psychiatrists. But they said once again you zeroed in on Lindsay."

Danny knew exactly why Lindsay had been the target of his rage but it didn't look like Flack knew enough about the drug to understand or if he did he didn't understand the depths of his feelings for his beautiful partner. The pheromones in the PheromoRage targeted the rage portion of the brain but it was limited in its range; one of the reasons why it was popular. The object of rage could only be someone the person found sexually attractive. Montana would have been the only one both in the diner and the hospital room that Danny would have fixated on. No need to admit that knowledge to Flack.

"Must have been tough on Montana reliving it. Mac should have known better than to ask her to do it. Of course she was going to agree to help. I don't think she knows how NOT to put someone else's problems above her own. I'll never forget that day of the explosion. Stella and I get on scene and there's Montana bleeding from a gash on her head and she's frantically calling Mac trying to get word about the two of you. She wouldn't have gotten her wound checked at all if Stella hadn't threatened her. Told her that she either let the medics on scene clean and treat the gash or go home completely. She consented to getting it cleaned and then was right back at work."

Nobody talked much about that day, at least not to Flack. He'd been so close to death that no one wanted to remind of the explosion that had almost taken his life. He'd known that Mac and the guy that had been in the building with them had minor injuries but he'd never considered that Lindsay had been injured. She'd been outside where he'd thought she would have been safe. He'd never seen evidence of the head wound but rationalized it could have healed by the time he'd recovered enough to be aware of the steady stream of visitors. "She didn't agree to help; though you're right, she probably would have. Mac couldn't tell her what he was going to do or it might prejudice her reaction. She was pretty upset but mostly about what it would do to you."

"What does all this mean?" Danny asked.

Flack shrugged not sure what exactly Danny meant by all but decided to fill him in on what he did know. "We haven't been able to figure out how you got the steroids but we're still working on that. The good news is that the charges against you for the attack have been dropped. When you are released from here, you won't be facing a jail cell."

If he expected Danny to look relived by the news he was sorely disappointed. Instead the other man just looked miserable. "What's bugging you? I don't think it's worry about the drugs; you know the team well enough to know we're going to get it figured out as well."

"Growing up, Louie and I both got our share of Pop's belt. Most of the time well deservedly. But Dad never hit either one of us except for one time." Danny stared off into space as he related the story. "Louie was probably seventeen at the time. Arrogant teenager who didn't listen to anybody. He was already running with Tanglewood and liked to shoot off his mouth. He was always butting heads with Ma and Pop. One day it got really ugly between him and Ma. I was shocked when he hit Ma but not as shocked as I was by what happened next. Suddenly Pop came out of nowhere and punched the hell out of Louie. Dropped him where he stood. Then he looked both of us dead in the eye and I'll never forget what he had to say. Told us that Ma was a lady and should be treated as such. Told us he knew there would be times we had to fight and he could accept that but there was never a reason to hit a lady. Said if you had to beat a woman you weren't a man and you certainly wasn't a son of his. He had this look in his eye and even my immature ass knew he was serious."

Flack couldn't help but smile. "My dad had a pretty similar philosophy he instilled in me. Guess that's why you and I get along so well. Still doesn't explain what has you so bummed."

"The very thing Pop warned us not to be I became yesterday. I didn't just hit Montana I beat her to a bloody pulp. She can't even open one eye completely." Seeing that Flack was about to protest Danny shook his head. "Don't give me the out that I was drugged and didn't know what I was doing. Pop was right, there's never a reason to hit a lady. There's no recovery from this. I may not be going to jail but what does that mean in the end? I've never felt for anyone the way I feel for Montana. She's going through a hard time right now and I promised to be there for her however she needed me and what do I do? Why would she trust me after what I did to her?"

"Because she's Lindsay and that's the kind of person she is." It seemed like a copout but it was the most honest answer Flack could give him. He knew there was something stirring between the city boy and country girl but not even Flack had imagined Danny's feelings ran as deep as they apparently did. Although he knew his friend well enough to know that even if Lindsay had been a complete stranger, Danny would still feel an incredible amount of guilt. Danny's father's words from the past were weighing heavily on Danny now as they probably had when he'd first uttered them. Danny was feeling like a failure as both a man and as a Messer because he hadn't lived up to his father's standards. Reminding him that he hadn't had any choice in the matter wasn't going to change that. It was something he was going to have to work through for himself in his own time and in his own way. "Look I could sit here the rest of the night and tell you everything is going to work out but you aren't going to believe me. You're going to have to work through this on your own. I just don't think you should sell Monroe short. In the meantime, how about you help me help you figure out this steroid issue."

Danny stood up and started to pace back and forth. "What did you find out at the drug store? I can't believe either Mr. Stanley or Jimmy would switch the pills but it had to happen there."

"I talked to your old girlfriend and she said she hasn't seen you in there lately and your name isn't in the logbook. Do you remember who was working when you bought the pills last?"

Danny stopped mid-pace and looked back at Flack. "Old girlfriend? What old girlfriend? I know I've had a few but I don't know of any who work a the drug store."

"Polly. She seemed to have some fond memories of you when she wasn't flirting with me."

Danny rolled his eyes. "Fond memories? Maybe in her wettest dreams but that's it. At the risk of sounding completely insensitive here, Polly is like a dog who chases cars. She'll chase after anything that has a Y chromosome but if a halfway decent guy took the bait she wouldn't know what to do. She wasn't there the last time I went in. I try very hard not to stop in at Stanley's when I know she'll be working. There was a new guy working the last time I was there. I didn't recognize him. My name should have been in the logbook though, I saw him fill out the information."

Flack nodded. "Okay, I'll stop back into the pharmacy tomorrow, see if I can't get a list of all the employees and pictures of them. See if you can identify who sold you the tainted steroids."

Danny sank back onto the mattress tired despite the fact that he'd only just woken up. "I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to have anything to do with me. I had to have brought this on myself for some reason, maybe I did something to deserve it. It means a lot that you are here."

"Wouldn't be anywhere else."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"_The charges against Messer have been dropped. He wants to know how that happened_."

The blonde frowned into the phone as she tapped a long painted nail impatiently against the steering wheel of her car. "I don't know. There is no way they could have figured out the plan. It was foolproof."

"_He warned you that Mac Taylor was too clever for his own good. You better not have messed this up. If Danny Messer doesn't suffer greatly then you will."_

She rolled her eyes. It wasn't the first time she'd heard a similar threat. "Danny Messer is definitely suffering, police charges or not. He's locked away in the mental ward and his own teammates are doubting him. Even if by some miracle he escapes going to jail for his actions, his career is over. And he'll have to live with the fact that he hurt that mousy bitch from Montana. Tell him not to worry."

She ended the call and reached for the cell phone she'd appropriated at the diner the day before. Stealing the phone hadn't been a part of the plan but when it had skittered to her feet in the diner, it had been too good an opportunity to pass up. She'd already used it last night to call the NYPD Chief of Detectives to rat out Danny's steroid use and then today to inform several prominent defense attorneys to make them question the integrity of the lab. Danny's career would be over no matter what else happened but she wanted to make sure he suffered personally as well.

Sweet little innocent Monroe hadn't even defended herself against the vicious attack that had hurt her. The country bumpkin from Montana might be too weak to fight Danny but the woman bet that the CSI's brothers might sing a different song. She had already read the old messages in the phone and knew which brother would be the perfect one to send a little message from baby sister to.

She typed out the message she'd been composing in her head all day and sent it without a moment's hesitation. It was only a matter of time before Lindsay Monroe's whole family knew what Danny had done to the youngest member of the family. She smiled and then tossed the phone out the window of the car before driving away.


	14. Chapter 13

Author's Note: I meant to get a new chapter of Begin Anew up last weekend but the truth was I pretty much took a writing free weekend. And the next chapter is not coming along the way I want it to. This week wasn't much better time wise in order to get much writing done. Hopefully maybe I can get it ready soon. So instead, here's another chapter for Attack. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed; some suspicions are spot on but I'm not going to say which ones. Hope you continue to enjoy.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 13

Mac was no stranger to insomnia. In the immediate years that followed 9/11, he had experienced probably more dream-tossed or completely sleepless nights than he did restful slumbers. As the years passed, his sleep patterns leveled out more but were not without the occasional haunting nightmares or nights that passed from dusk to dawn without him closing his eyes for more than thirty minutes at a time. Therefore, it didn't faze him that several times during the night, he'd awoken to the sounds of painful groans and shouts bitten off mid cry. The first time, it had taken him a moment or two to realize that this time the cries hadn't come from himself but from his current apartment-guest. He didn't mind the interruption of sleep but it pained him knowing his youngest CSI was going through such turmoil. He felt to blame, or rather that his actions earlier at the hospital were. After all, the night before hadn't been that troubled.

Each time he heard her, he'd left his bed and went to he spare bedroom. Each time, his hand had firmly grasped the door knob, ready to go in and comfort the young woman. Each time, he'd gotten so far as to cracking the door ever so slightly. Then each time, he closed it without stepping foot inside. It wasn't that he didn't want to be there for the young woman or that he thought she was okay. Instead it had to do more with sudden intake of breath he heard each time he cracked the door. He knew that sound just as well as he knew the sounds of a nightmare. It was the sound that spoke of dread of what might come. He had felt her pull away from him on the walk from the garage to the apartment and knew that she was still working out what had happened at the hospital in her head. He didn't want to make things worse for her by forcing unwanted comfort on her. If she wanted or needed him, he trusted that she would come to him. So instead, he would close the door and listen for several minutes on the other side until he was sure she was once more asleep before returning to his own bed.

At four o'clock in the morning, Mac gave up on trying to sleep any further and got ready for his day. Once in the kitchen he started a pot of coffee knowing that Lindsay would probably need the caffeine as much as he did. He heard the shower running in the spare bedroom and knew she had given up on sleep as well. He had a mug of coffee ready for her as soon as she emerged from the bedroom. With an almost shy smile, she took the offered drink and followed him to the kitchen island.

"You okay?" Mac asked, his tone carefully neutral. He was concerned about her but didn't want to pressure her to talk if she wasn't ready or if she was still upset with him.

She nodded. "I will be." She saw his own tired eyes that probably mirrored her own. She took a small sip of the almost scalding liquid. Then she set the mug on the countertop. "I kept you up, didn't I? I'm sorry."

Mac waved off her concerns. "It wouldn't be the first time I didn't get much sleep. Bad dreams?"

She nodded, a soft shudder running down her spine. There was no way she wanted to discuss the worst her mind had to offer her during the night. It was one of the reasons she'd gotten real still during the night when he would open the bedroom door. "Painkillers do that to me. One of the reasons why I avoid taking them unless I absolutely have to. Unfortunately, this time it was a necessity but I pay for it when I try to sleep."

Her reasoning made sense but he still felt there was probably more. He paid attention to his own coffee for a couple of minutes. He would have to go into the lab today and he knew Sinclair was going to want the rest of the answers to the questions he had about what happened. Answers that Mac still didn't have. How could he find out without further jeopardizing his relationship with Lindsay? Suddenly he had an idea.

"I know you are on medical leave but do you think you can help me out a little on a case that's giving me trouble?" He felt bad when her face instantly lit up.

"Of course, do I need to come with you to the lab?"

He shook his head. "No, more like I want your opinion on the matter. We got a body beaten to a bloody pulp but no defensive wounds. Natural instinct is to defend yourself under an attack. What would make a person not fight back? Not protect themselves?"

Lindsay toyed with her coffee cup thinking carefully. "It could be different for any person under any given circumstances. The most likely reason would be that they didn't see the attack coming and weren't able to defend themselves or were somehow prevented from fighting back. If that's not it, then something else kept them from reacting. Maybe they've tried fighting back before and it only made things worse so they've given up. Maybe they were protecting someone or something. Maybe they just didn't feel like they were worth fighting for. Unless the victim can speak for himself, there's no way to know other than speculation."

Mac nodded and rose from his side of the island. He came around the counter and took Lindsay by the hand leading her down the hall to where a medium-sized mirror hung on the wall. He positioned her so that she could see her reflection in the glass. "This victim can speak for herself. So what's her excuse?"

Lindsay glared at him slightly, now aware that she'd fallen for his trap. She moved away from the mirror and sank into the couch, her arms folded protectively across her chest. "I'm sure you must have a theory. Why do you think I didn't fight Danny?"

Mac shook his head, seating himself in the chair next to the couch. "I don't know. I've been struggling with the question since I got to the diner the other day and saw what had happened. I know that it wasn't because you couldn't defend yourself. Danny is bigger than you and maybe stronger but I've seen you take down guys twice my size. Even though Danny was under the influence of the spray and the steroids, you could have fought him. You might not have won but you would have given as well as you took. But you didn't. Worse, you told everybody else who tried to intervene to stay back. You stepped in front of a tazer blast that would have ended the attack immediately. I don't understand it Lindsay; worse, Sinclair doesn't understand it. He's going to demand answers but I'm concerned enough to want them. I'm not one to speculate so please explain it to me."

Lindsay had put Mac off on any discussion of the old bruises or her actions at ever step of the way but knew she couldn't do so any longer. She made herself as comfortable on the couch as she could since there was no way the conversation would offer any comfort at all. "I didn't know what was going on but I knew something was horribly wrong. Danny wasn't acting like Danny. As much as I hate to admit it, at that moment I didn't know what he might be capable of. As long as he was focused on beating the shit out of me, his attention and anger wasn't being directed to the other customers. I was afraid of what might happen if someone intervened or if I made his fight difficult for him. At least with me, he was using his fists and his feet; what if he had a moment to pull his gun? We had left our regular service revolvers at the lab when we went for lunch but I knew Danny always carries his back up piece in his ankle holster. Someone could have been killed and drugged or not, it would have been a whole lot harder to protect him from those kind of charges or the guilt you know he would feel if his actions cost someone their life."

Mac hadn't considered the issue of the weapon but had to agree with Lindsay's judgment of what that outcome would have been. "And the tazer? He couldn't have hurt anyone or gone for his back-up piece if he were unconscious."

Lindsay nodded. "I was scared of what damage the electrical charge might do to Danny. I know it's a less lethal way to subdue a person but I had no idea what had caused Danny to snap the way he did and how the cause of that might interact with the tazer. I didn't want anyone else to get hurt and I didn't want Danny to get hurt either."

Her reasoning sounded more like Lindsay than the arguments he kept hearing at the hospital about her being an abuse victim but still it bothered him that she willingly took on so much pain. "You were lucky that your injuries weren't worse. He could have killed you."

She shrugged. "I trusted that he wouldn't even under the influence of whatever had caused him to attack. Besides if it hadn't been me hurt, it probably would have been someone else and I couldn't live with that. It's my job to protect people, not willingly put them in harm's way."

Mac sighed. "Your safety is just as important as everyone else's."

"But it's not any more important. I could handle what was happening. I couldn't handle it if someone else got hurt because of me. I swore I wouldn't let that happen again." Too late she realized she'd said more than she wanted and hoped Mac wouldn't jump on her statement.

He did. "Again? What are you talking about, Lindsay? Who got hurt because of you?"

Lindsay lowered her eyes and wished that a hole would open up in Mac's apartment and swallow her up. Only two people who actually knew her knew about that event and only one of them knew the full story. It was the one aspect of her life she hadn't shared even with Micah. She didn't want to rehash bad memories to Mac, especially because those memories had been assaulting her all night in her nightmares, sometimes as direct memories and others, like the one she had at the hospital, distorted images of the real event. She shook her head. "Don't you have to get to work?"

"I am working. I'm getting a victim's statement." Mac leaned over and touched her knee gently, his expression soft and concerned. "More importantly, I'm your friend and I care about what happens to you, past and present. I hear the guilt in your voice. Tell me what happened."

She shook her head again. "It'll change the way you think about me. Your opinion matters to me and I don't want you to be disappointed in me."

"I'm not here to judge you." He had a feeling her remarks had something to do with the shooting she survived as a teenager. He'd vowed that he wouldn't force her to talk about the time unless she broached the subject first, but, he argued with himself, she sort of did mention it first with the statement she made. "Lindsay, nothing you have to say could change my opinion of you."

Lindsay still seemed reluctant but had run out of arguments other than to just refuse to talk. She gave that idea serious consideration but finally decided that the more fuss she put about not talking would just make things seem worse. Finally she took a deep breath, wincing at the twinge that pulled in her ribs. "It happened during my freshman year at college." She began but had a hard time continuing.

Mac didn't interrupt her even though he realized that she wasn't referring to the diner shooting. In order to give her a moment to collect her thoughts, he retrieved their coffee mugs from the counter and then returned to the chair next to the couch. She took the drink he offered her and allowed the still hot liquid to warm her hands that suddenly felt ice cold.

"You were in college you said." Mac prompted gently just to get her started again.

She had a faraway look in her eyes and Mac wasn't sure she even remembered where she was currently. "If you look up the term Big Man on Campus you would probably have found his picture. Star of the football team, fraternity president, dean's list, buildings on campus named for his family in honor of the large donations they had given the university, you name an honor, he had it. All the girls had crushes on him but for some reason he chose me to date. I'd never dated much in high school so I was over the moon when he first asked me out. What someone like him saw in someone like me, I had no idea."

All his life, Mac had heard girls coyly use lines like that in order to fish for a compliment. Unfortunately in this case, he had a feeling Lindsay truly didn't comprehend her own beauty. The fact that she seemed completely unaware of just how attractive she really was only added to how special she really was. Mac was pretty sure it was one of the things that had captured Danny's interest almost from the very beginning.

She pressed on as if she were alone in the room. "We'd been going out for about a month. It was wonderful; he made me feel special and loved. Sure everything we did revolved around his interests but it didn't bother me. This particular night we had gone to one of the clubs just off campus. I didn't drink but he had several beers. It wasn't really my scene at all but I knew it was his and was willing to make the best of it since he was having a good time. It had been a long day; I had stayed up way too late the night before studying for a test and gotten up even earlier to take it. I was exhausted and finally pleaded that we make it an early night. To my surprise he agreed without an argument, even seemed eager to leave the club himself. He escorted me back to my dorm. I figured he would walk me to the door and then leave but he followed me inside. It was a Thursday night and my roommate had already left to go home for the weekend. At first it was nice; he was a really good kisser and he knew how to make my legs turn to jelly." A warm flush crept up her cheeks as she suddenly remembered who she was talking to.

Ordinarily Mac would have smiled at her embarrassment but was too worried about where her story was going. It hadn't escaped his notice that even now, years later, she hadn't identified this guy by even so much as a first name. He wanted to point out ask what happened but allowed her to continue uninterrupted.

"I was so caught up in how good it all felt that he had me almost completely undressed before I even knew what was happening. I pushed him away and told him I wasn't ready to take that step, not with him or with anyone. He seemed surprised; I just figured no one had ever told him no before. I expected him to say he understood and hoped I wasn't ruining our relationship by putting him off. Instead he slapped me and pushed me down on the bed…" In her mind, she returned to that night.

_Suddenly a hand was gripping her hair tightly, jerking her head backward. The grip he had on the back of her head threatened to pull her hair out by its roots. Tears of pain filled her eyes. He pressed his lips against hers. How many nights had she spent enjoying just kissing him? Feeling his tongue sweep into hers so that every inch of her mouth felt thoroughly lavished with attention? But this didn't just feel wrong, it was scary. She kept her lips tightly together not allowing his tongue the entry he was seeking. He growled again and then bit her lower lip sharply, drawing blood. She couldn't suppress the cry of pain and in that moment, his tongue pushed its way into her mouth almost gagging her. She had trusted him; he really wouldn't hurt her would he? He broke off the kiss and she was glad, hopeful that maybe he was seeing reason at last. Instead he grinned wickedly. _

"_We've been going out for awhile and the most you've let me do is kiss you senseless. I've been patient long enough. It's time for you to put up or shut up. I'm gonna fuck you so hard your eyes are gonna pop out of your head. I tried to make this painless and even enjoyable for you but that doesn't seem to be working. Too bad. Even though you're gonna scream and protest and claim you hate me for it, deep inside you're gonna love every minute of it and not be able to get enough."_

_He roughly fondled her breasts and then closed his mouth over one of her nipples. The hand that wasn't groping at her other breast traveled lower and gripped her inner thigh with bruising strength. It would only be a matter of time before he carried out his threat but she had to do something to stop him._

"_Stop!" She put her hand to his chest to push him away. He was strong and had her pinned to the bed but she'd grown up with five brothers and was used to wrestling with them. She gave up trying to push him back and simply punched him in the jaw before giving him hard shove sending him sprawling to the floor. She scrambled out of the way in case he tried to come at her again. _

_Instead he sat where he'd fallen, holding his bruised jaw. He practically growled. "Who do you think you are? You're nothing but a piece of tail, not even much of that even. I certainly didn't ask you out because you were anything special. The only thing you have going for you is that I figured you would be an easy lay. But I bet you couldn't even do that properly."_

_Without another word he left the dorm room. With shaking legs, Lindsay crossed the room to the door and made sure it was locked, just in case he came back. Then she turned and slid down the door, burying her head to her knees as the sobs started. She was too shaken to even make an attempt to cover her almost naked body. How had things gotten so bad so quickly? _

_The sudden pounding on the door startled her. She choked back a strangled cry until a welcoming familiar voice called out to her. "Linds? Come on, Sis, open up. Dammit, please."_

"It was Brent." Realizing that her boss might not be as familiar with her family she further explained. "My brother, one of the twins. He and Brian were in their third year at the same university." Lindsay continued. "Apparently the bartender at the club we were at was one of his friends. Johnny had seen my boyfriend put something in my soda when I wasn't looking. Unfortunately he saw it happen quite often working in a club frequented by frat boys. If he witnessed it, he always switched out the drinks before the girl could drink any of the drugs so she would know what was going on and could make an informed choice. That's why Troy was so surprised when I fought him off; he expected me to be too drugged to fight back. Johnny called Brett as soon as we left the club and told him what had happened. Brett was furious that Johnny even let me leave with him and had come rushing to my room to check on me."

Mac was glad to hear that the near rape had been thwarted and had to echo her brother's feelings about Johnny. Although he was glad the bartender had prevented Troy - he was surprised when Lindsay had slipped up and used her former boyfriend's first name- from dosing Lindsay with what was probably Rohypnol. He moved from the chair to the couch and pulled her close, ready to release her at the first sign of discomfort. Instead she seemed to welcome his embrace against the bad memories from before.

"I was almost scared to let Brett in but knew he'd probably break down the door if I didn't. I told him what happened and he helped me get changed. Then he insisted that I report what happened to the campus security. They refused to do anything. Of course no one was going to believe anything bad about the boy whose family had financed many of new building projects at the school. Brett was furious and took me to the police station. They weren't affected by the family's wealth but there was still nothing they could do. I had no injuries, even the slap he'd given me hadn't left a mark. Since I was dating him, the officer who took my statement said it would be my word against his and that the DA would have a hard time prosecuting a thwarted date rape case."

As much as it galled him, Mac knew the officer had been correct. Even now date rape was hard to prove and one that had been stopped in time even more so. Had Lindsay and her brother appeared at his desk when he was walking a beat, the most he would have been able to do was take a report and recommend breaking off all contact with the suspect. However, he probably would have paid this Troy guy a visit to make sure he didn't come close to Lindsay every again. Her next words stopped his thoughts in their tracks.

"I should have just let him do what he wanted. It would have been better all around."

Mac's jaw dropped and he pulled back a little to sternly frown at her. "You can't mean that."

This time she didn't look away but met his with a fierce determination reflecting back in the eye that wasn't swollen shut. "I've never been more serious. If I hadn't fought him, Brett would have shown up while he was raping me. The police would have had no choice but to arrest him. It would have been over."

Mac shook his head. "And you would have been hurt. No woman deserves that kind of pain even if it means putting a scumbag behind bars."

"You're right, no woman deserves that kind of pain. Certainly not the poor girl who just happened to be out walking that night near my dorms. She shouldn't have had to suffer the abuse he intended for me." Lindsay wiped a tear and then continued.

"Brett made me stay off campus with him and Brian for the rest of the weekend. Because I wasn't on campus, I didn't hear any news until Monday. But as soon as I got to class everyone was talking about what happened Thursday night. Another freshman was brutally raped and beaten not far from my dorm. She didn't see her attacker but said he kept calling her Lindsay. I couldn't prove it but I knew he'd left my dorm and carried out his threat on the first girl he came across."

Mac's jaw rocked with anger. "I know you well enough to know you went back to the police with your suspisions. Was Troy arrested?"

Lindsay shook her head. "They investigated but when he raped the other girl he used a condom. There was no forensic evidence linking him to the crime and his buddies gave him an alibi for the time. The more I tried to push the issue the more it made me seem like a vengeful girlfriend trying to get him in trouble. The university even threatened to kick me out of school if I didn't stop harassing him."

She eased of the couch needing to move around a little to work out the tension that had settled into all of her muscles. "The girl who was raped was so traumatized that she dropped out of school. I heard rumor that she committed suicide later because she couldn't handle what happened to her. I know Troy was responsible but I can't help but feel guilty as well."

"Lindsay." Mac started but she stopped him.

"No, don't try to convince me otherwise. It didn't stop there. Johnny, the bartender, was beaten after leaving the club the next weekend. He was injured so badly he lost sight in one eye. Again we knew who was responsible but couldn't prove it. We figured Troy had figured out that Johnny had switched the drinks and was getting back at him. Johnny had planned on going into the Air Force after graduation; he'd dreamed of being a fighter pilot since he was a small boy. Those dreams ended after that beating."

She turned to face Mac, holding on the back of the couch for support. "Living on campus became hell for me. Nobody knew what Troy had tried to do to me but they did know we had broken up. Rumors why started and they were all ugly. Please don't make me tell you about them because it turns my stomach to even think about them. Notes were left under my dorm door and even my roommate wouldn't speak to me. I thought about dropping out as well but Brett wouldn't hear of it. I permanently moved in with the twins and things got better. We didn't tell Brian about the attempted rape; he would have gone ballistic on Troy if he'd known. All my brothers are over protective but Brian could take it to a new art form. All he knew was that Troy and I had had a bad fight and broken up."

She took a small, less pain stabbing breath and went on. "About a week after I moved off campus, Brett was mugged and beaten up while out running. It seemed completely unrelated except one of the muggers whispered something about me in Brett's ear after beating him almost unconscious. Again we knew Troy was involved but couldn't prove anything. To make matters worse, Brian tried to get back at Troy for what happened to Brett. Confronted him at the college gym and beat him pretty badly. This time the local police had proof of a crime and arrested my brother. We managed to keep Mom and Dad from finding out about what happened because Brian didn't fight the charges and paid the fine. Three people were seriously injured while I never even had so much as a bruise from the night and my brother has a criminal record. All because I put myself first. I know you'll argue that I can't blame myself for any of the events that happened after but I do. It could have been just me that was hurt but instead all those other people suffered in my place."

"You couldn't have known all that was going to happen when you protected yourself." Mac argued, hoping to make her see reason but knowing simple words from him wouldn't change those deep seated feelings of guilt. He'd always figured her deep sense of a need for justice for the victims stemmed from the diner shooting but now realized it went much deeper.

"I know. Really I do. But the other day at the diner I was sure of what could happen and if it was going to come down to either me alone was hurt or others were going to be in danger because of me, then there was no question. I wasn't going to put myself above the others in that diner. If I were in the same situation, I wouldn't do anything different."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI :NY -

The passengers came down the tunnel departing the plane and entering the airport terminal. The last person to exit was wearing blue jeans and a red flannel button down shirt. Shifting the duffle bag strap on his shoulder, he reached for the cell phone in his pocket and turned it back on and waited impatiently to see if he'd missed any calls while in the air. Five missed calls but none from the person he wanted to hear from most of all. Before returning any of the missed calls he tried once more to reach the number he'd been trying frantically to reach right up to the minute the flight attendant had forced him to turn off his phone.

"Come on, pick up."

It went to voice mail instead just as it had every other time he'd tried. With a frown and a muttered curse he called the first missed number. This time there was an almost immediate answer. He didn't get the usual hello that usually came from someone answering the phone so he knew the person on the receiving end had been just as impatiently waiting for the call. "_Are you there yet_?"

"Just landed at JFK. I'm heading to her apartment now. I'll know more once I've seen her."

"_I'm trusting you to handle things there. I feel like I should be there but things are crazy here. Not as crazy as things are going to be with you there but crazy enough that it would be difficult for me to get away. That being said, if you can't handle things, let me know and I'll figure out a way to get there."_

"I can handle it. Don't worry about it. I'll call you when I know more." He hung up the phone before he could be questioned further. Putting the phone back in his pocket he started to follow the signs that would lead him to the cab stands outside the airport. He completely bypassed the baggage claim area because he hadn't bothered to pack anything other than the duffle bag he'd carried with him. After getting the text message that said his baby sister was in trouble, he hadn't wasted any time getting a flight to New York.

Once in the cab, he gave the driver the address to Lindsay's apartment and settled back in the seat. After flying almost all night to get to New York, he was beyond exhausted. He'd told his older brother that he could handle things but in truth he wasn't really sure. He could only hope that he'd told the truth and could handle things because if not, things in New York City were about to get really ugly.


	15. Chapter 14

Author's Notes: Don't know what was going on with the website Thursday night and most of Friday. I uploaded the latest chapter of Gassed around 9 pm Thursday but didn't get the notification for it until about 4 pm Friday afternoon. Weird. I'm sorry if you were late getting the notification as well. It's been a tough week so I'm glad the weekend if finally here. I'm also looking forward to Spring Break coming up in a couple of weeks. I plan on getting some major writing done during my week off. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: CBS, Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, and Ann Donahue own all rights to the characters and premise of the show. I am making no money off this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission.

Attack

Chapter 14

It had been painfully obvious to Lindsay that Mac had been reluctant to leave the apartment after hearing her story. Even though those events were in her past, it was as if he recognized that the memory of that time still had the power to cause her pain. Especially in light of all that had happened the past couple of days.

Finally she was able to convince him she was okay. Yes, she was battered and more than a little more than worse for wear but she could handle it. The memories were at the forefront of her mind, mingling with the current trauma. Though he didn't ask and she didn't say, they both knew the combination of the two were what had haunted her dreams. Mac only consented to going to the lab once Lindsay reminded him that the current threat from whomever had sprayed Danny was still out there and that she was trusting him and the rest of the team to get to the bottom of it before something else, possibly something worse, happened. He left after encouraging her to try to get some real rest and with a reminder that she should take it easy. He promised she'd have some visitors pop in to check on her again during the day.

Once she was alone in the apartment, Lindsay put together a small breakfast of toast and cereal to go along with her coffee. She took her time nibbling the simple meal and then cleaning up afterward and found that even that simple chore had worn her out. She was hurting but not bad enough she felt it warranted taking a strong painkiller. Instead, she curled up on the couch under a throw blanket and let herself drift off to sleep.

This time her rest wasn't plagued with the same horrible dreams as before. It was almost as if telling Mac the story of what had happened during her freshman year of college had somehow, at least temporarily, exorcised those demons. In fact, she was sleeping so hard and so well it took her several moments for her to hear the knocking at the apartment door. She grumbled sleepily under her breath that Mac hadn't needed to send someone to check on her right away. But she groggily slipped off the couch and made her way to the door. Maybe if whoever had drawn the short end of the stick saw how tired she looked, he or she would report back to Mac that it wasn't necessary to check on her every ten minutes.

Instead, all drowsiness faded immediately once she peered through the peephole and saw who was standing on the other side. Surprised, she unlocked the door and swung it open.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"You don't understand, my sister is in trouble and I have to find her. If you don't want to help me, let me see the people who can." The rugged man in jeans and flannel shirt would have been quite handsome if not for the troubled expression marring his boyish good looks. Usually an inviting smile where just the hint of a dimple showed was all he needed to charm someone onto his side of a disagreement. He'd often been told that if he ever decided to change careers, he could have a good future as a salesman. He would always joke back that in a way he was a salesman although what he offered didn't cost money. Today that charm wasn't working to his favor.

The female receptionist slash security guard working the desk on the ground floor of the building that housed the New York Crime Lab was used to being charmed by officers and lab employees alike and as such was now immune to such charms. "I'm sorry, sir. There is nothing I can do to help you. If someone is in trouble, you should go to the closet police precinct. The 12th is just a couple of blocks away. An officer there will be happy to take your statement and assist you."

Stella Bonasera heard the last part as she entered the building. Normally, she ignored the going on at the desk as she made her way to the elevator but the man standing there arguing with the receptionist was so familiar that it caught her eye. She detoured from her normal route and went to the desk.

"It's okay, Pam. I'll handle this." Stella held out her hand. "I see your picture just about every day. I know you are Lindsay's brother but since there are two of you with the same face, I'm not sure if you are Brett or Brian."

The visitor from Montana relaxed considerably at Stella's arrival, although the worry didn't completely ease. He shook her hand. "Brett Monroe, Ma'am. Brian wouldn't have been as pleasant. From my sister's description, you must be Stella."

"Nice to meet you." She signed him in and led him to the elevator. She wasn't sure what Brett knew about Lindsay's attack or even it had anything to do with why he was there. "Lindsay didn't tell us you were coming."

"She doesn't know." Brett admitted, worry once more the central focus of his expression. "I'm hoping I'm here just to prevent a disaster but I'm quickly losing that hope. Tell me Linds is here at work and everything is okay."

The elevator doors opened and Stella led him down the hall to her office. "What makes you think something is wrong and what disaster are you hoping to prevent?"

Brett's shoulders slumped as he collapsed in the chair she offered him. He was exhausted from taking the red-eye from Bozeman Yellowstone International straight into JFK. "Well, that answers my question, doesn't it? If she was here and okay, you would have just said so. Since you are being evasive, something must be wrong. Damn, I was hoping it was all a mistake. Okay, fine. Last night Brian got a text message from Lindsay's phone. I don't know who sent it but I know it wasn't Lindsay. She never would have sent that message to Brian. Knowing her, she wouldn't have sent it to any of us but especially not to either Brian or Jeremy. I went to her apartment and she's not there. If she wasn't there, I figured she had to be here. So what's going on? I can handle it."

Stella sat in a chair closest to Brett. She didn't understand all of his ramblings but the parts she did concerned her. He said he could handle the information but she wasn't completely sure. She eased in to what he needed to know. "Lindsay was injured a couple of days ago during an altercation. She was roughed up but not badly enough that the doctor thought she needed to be hospitalized. She's not at her apartment or here at the lab because she's staying with our boss. She wasn't injured enough to be hospitalized but the doctor didn't want her staying alone while on painkillers. She's safe. Her cell phone was stolen at the same time so, yes, any message your brother received last night didn't come from Lindsay."

Brett closed his eyes, willing himself to focus on the positive. His baby sister was hurt but apparently she was going to be okay. Still, Lindsay had already been through so much he hated to hear about even the slightest injury. When she'd talked to him several weeks ago and told him about her jaunt undercover, it had taken all his will power not to hop a flight then to come to New York and wrap her in bubble wrap. And he was probably the most level headed of the brothers.

"What happened to Lindsay? You said altercation. What was it? Shoot out? Some other cockamamie undercover stint she had no business being on? Lab accident? What? I know you are withholding information but I've been terrified since I heard from Brian last night. You can't imagine the how my imagination's been working over time coming up with the worst scenarios. Trust me, my imaginations is pretty vivid."

Stella hesitated. Brett deserved to know the truth but at what cost would it come? Danny was one of her closest friends and she'd been ready to tear him from limb to limb at first. What would Lindsay's brother, a man who'd probably spent his life protecting the youngest member of the Monroe clan, want to do to the man who had hurt Lindsay even if it hadn't been by choice? Finally she sighed. "Two days ago Lindsay went to lunch with a co-worker. While there the co-worker was sprayed with a substance that caused him to not act like himself. He attacked Lindsay."

Brett shook his head. It was as bad as he feared and would only get worse. "It was Danny, wasn't it? Is he here? I have to see him."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Danny? How? I thought…" Lindsay leaned against the door, just not believing she was seeing her partner and friend standing there.

Danny shifted uncomfortably, wondering once again at the wisdom of coming to see her. He really didn't remember much of seeing her the night before due to the drugs so he took a good look at her injuries for the first time since she'd appeared at his cubicle in the Emergency room. The stitches on her cheek were no longer bandaged, giving way to her Montanan belief that it was better to let such wounds breathe. Her eye wasn't quite as swollen as it had been, it would now at least open halfway. His stomach turned at the thought that he had caused that damage even if he hadn't been in control of his own actions. "I shouldn't be here. I'm sorry…"

He turned to go but one word from her stopped him in his tracks. "Don't."

He turned back to her and she held her uninjured hand out to him, inviting him back. He jammed his own hands - he had stripped them of their own bandages himself in the shower earlier, not to let his busted knuckles breathe but to allow him to keep seeing the proof of his actions every time he looked at them - into his pockets. He didn't take her offered hand but did follow her back into the apartment. She closed the door behind them. "Mac fixed a whole pot of coffee this morning and there's still over half a pot left. Want some?"

Danny nodded. "Let me get it. You go on and sit down and get comfortable. You want some too?"

She nodded. She could sense his discomfort and it made her sad. It reminded her of the couple of days after she had stood him up when she'd treated him at arms length not wanting to discuss her reasons for not starting a relationship with him. After they had finally talked, or at least she'd given him some lame excuse for her actions, things had gotten somewhat back to normal but still a little strained. Now they were right back to that incredible awkward stage for a totally new reason.

Getting comfortable was almost impossible with her wounds but she'd just managed to find a position on the couch that didn't hurt when Danny returned from the kitchen with two mugs of coffee. He handed her one before sitting on the other end of the couch. There was room for possibly two other people to sit between them but she was glad he didn't choose the chair at the far end of the couch. She hoped a little levity might ease the tension a little. "If I turn on the news, am I going to see a live report of the hospital showing a rope of tied bed sheets hanging from your room there?"

For a moment he looked confused and then, realizing what she was insinuating, chuckled. "No, I didn't break out. The main purpose of the psych hold was Mac's attempt to keep me from being arrested. Since Mac proved that it was the spray that caused me to flip out and the assault charges have been dropped, Dr. Peterson saw no reason to continue to hold me. He still wants to see me a few times on a outpatient basis though." He said the last part without much enthusiasm and Lindsay was pretty sure he was debating whether he would do that.

"That's great."

He nodded, looking at his coffee cup to avoid looking at her. "Flack was still there when Dr. Peterson came in. He gave me a ride back to my apartment before he had to go to work. I grabbed a shower to wash off the antiseptic feel and smell of the hospital off and put on real clothes instead of the scrubs they loaned me since Stella had to take my clothes as evidence."

"And then you came here." Lindsay finished. She felt bad. Mac had thought to bring her bag of spare clothes from the lab that day in the ER. Apparently no one had thought to do the same for Danny. She hadn't even thought about it when she and Mac had headed to the hospital the night before.

"It wasn't my first plan." Danny explained. "What I really wanted to do was hop on my bike and head to Staten Island. I thought if I could go to Stanley's I could figure out who had switched the vitamins with the steroids and why. I was all set to do it too; got as far as the Verrazano bridge before I turned around. The usual Danny Messer method of trying to solve all my problems myself just always ends up causing more problems. Things go much better when I trust Mac and the team to do what's right."

Lindsay set her coffee mug on the table, trying not to wince or groan as the movement jostled her sore ribs. She knew if she did, it would only make Danny feel worse. It didn't sound like Danny held any ill will toward Mac for his deception the night before. She was sure Flack had probably filled him in already on what had happened. "Have you talked to Mac this morning?"

Danny shook his head. "Nah, I don't need to hear from him to know that I'm suspended without pay until they get to the bottom of the steroid issue." His tone was extremely bitter and then almost as if he could hear it himself, he hung his head. "Listen to me, complaining about my situation to you. You're on forced medical leave because of me. I have no room to complain to you about my work troubles. You could be at work right now if it weren't for me."

"Danny, stop blaming yourself. You were just as much a victim in all this as I was; perhaps even more so because you couldn't control anything that happened. The team is going to find out who dosed you at the diner and who gave you the steroids. Who knows, Mac could surprise you and not suspend you outright, just put you on a modified assignment in the meantime."

Danny didn't look convinced so Lindsay didn't push the issue. Instead she tried to turn his mind away from his guilt into more productive matters. "Any idea who might have switched the pills? I take it you've used Stanley's quite a bit."

"Only drug store Ma would even think about using. Small family type place; probably more like the type you'd have back home than what you would think of having in New York. Old man Stanley wouldn't hire anyone to work there that he didn't know personally. I can't imagine anyone there would do something like this. Scares me to think what else might have happened. I almost called Ma this morning to have her check any drugs she might have gotten there recently."

Hearing him mention his mother reminded Lindsay of how strained things had been for Danny with his parents every since Louie had died from his injuries the same time they had discovered that the CSI whom Lindsay had replaced had been killed by D.J. Pratt. His parents had blamed Danny for not being there when Louie had died but she knew he'd been trying to work things out. "How are things going with your parents? Last time I asked, you said things were getting better with your mother."

He nodded. "Things are almost back to normal with Ma. Still a little strained but she lets me come visit her and she calls to check on me occasionally. Pop's a different story though. He won't say a word to me. I figure eventually Ma will work on him as well and things will improve. I haven't told her anything about this though. Can't see it helping things. What about you? You talked to your family?" He didn't come out and say it but he was most worried about her brothers. He had heard stories about how protective the Monroe brothers could be toward their little sister. He couldn't imagine they would be happy to hear she'd been hurt.

Lindsay shook her head. "I haven't seen my cell phone since the diner. I asked Mac about it yesterday but he didn't say anything about it last night. I'm sure I could use his phone but I don't want to worry them. Hopefully he'll bring my phone to me today. If they try to call me and can't get me or I don't call them soon, they'll worry. Michelle's due to give birth any day now so I know Dougie will suspect something's wrong if I don't check on them."

Danny had heard so many stories about her family that he felt like he knew them all even though he had never met them. "This is their fourth child, right?"

Lindsay nodded. "All boys. Michelle was hoping this one would be a girl but I think Dougie's glad. He wouldn't know what to do with a little girl. They're going to name him Freddy."

It didn't surprise Danny that they were going to name this first baby born after their uncle's death after they man they had all loved. "You going to tell them about this?" He was sure she would; they weren't a family to keep secrets from each other.

"Are you crazy? I love my brothers but there are some things they are better off not knowing. They have a tendency of going to extremes that defy reasoning when it comes to me. I made the mistake of telling them when I was twelve about this boy in my class that was pulling my pigtails. Instead of telling me that it was just the boy's way of saying he liked me like most brothers would have, they waiting on the school playground one afternoon and scared him so badly the boy went to the principal and asked to have his schedule changed so he wasn't even in the same class as me any more."

Although Danny hated to be part of secret that Lindsay kept from her brothers, he was glad to know he wouldn't have to worry about them tracking him down to kill him. He'd seen the way Lindsay could take down men twice her size and he suspected her brothers could be equally if not more dangerous. He wasn't in any hurry to find out for sure.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Look, if you care about Lindsay at all, you'll tell me where to find Danny Messer." Brett insisted when it became obvious that Stella wasn't answering his earlier questions. "I know you care about her. Linds has told me all about how great a friend you've been to her since her first day here at the lab. I can't protect her if you don't help me."

Finally Stella found her voice. "I never said it was Danny who hurt Lindsay. Besides, I told you the person who did hurt your sister wasn't in control of his actions when it happened. I can understand you wanting to be there for your sister but hurting the person you think hurt her isn't the way to do it."

"I know that," Brett assured her. "That's why I have to find Danny. I get that you don't want to betray a friend by telling me who your co-worker was that hurt Lindsay. The fact that you really haven't denied that it was Danny pretty much confirms it was him. In the long run, it doesn't matter if it was him or not; he's in trouble."

Stella raised an eyebrow. "What kind of trouble?"

"Over protective brother trouble. I didn't come just to check on Lindsay. I'm also not the only brother who dropped everything to come to New York. My twin Brian is also on his way. I just got her faster cause he had to come from California and wait for approval from his CO to leave. I bet he's probably here by now and the first place he's going is to Danny Messer. And it won't be a friendly visit."

Stella remembered Brett saying he'd come to prevent a disaster. "What exactly was in that text message Brian got?"

This time it was Brett who hedged his answer. He wasn't sure how much of her past Lindsay had shared with her friends in New York and he didn't want to spill any secrets she might be keeping. He knew what a private person Lindsay was and was pretty sure she hadn't told anyone the worst parts of her past. No sense bringing them up now and confusing the situation even more. "The message itself isn't important but the gist of it was that Danny had hurt her. Brian's more of the punch-first-ask-questions-later kind of guy. Don't get me wrong; we all take protecting Lindsay pretty seriously. I won't hesitate to throw a punch myself if the situation calls for it but I tend to take into account Lindsay's emotional well-being than Brian does. Even if Danny was the one who hurt her, she wouldn't want Brian to jump into it in his typical big brother fashion. I just hope I can get to him in time."

Seeing Mac come down the hall, Stella waved him into the office as well. She introduced him to Brett and quickly explained the situation. Then she turned back to Brett. "I don't think you have to worry about Danny. He was hospitalized after the attack. I don't think your brother could get to him even if he could find him."

Mac frowned. "There's a problem there. I just got off the phone with Flack; Danny was released from the hospital this morning. Flack took him home and then left. He'd gotten all the way to the station when he realized Danny had left his cell phone in Flack's car. He drove back to give it to him but Danny had already left. We don't know where Danny is right now."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"So how are you really feeling? I can tell you are trying not to let on to the pain you're having but it's obviously there." Danny asked, more of the guilt coming out in his voice than he would have liked.

"Danny, you didn't cause this; remember that.."

"Yeah, I did. I might not have been aware of what I was doing or been in control but every single damn bruise or broken bone in your body happened because I hit you or kicked you. I did that, no one else. Knowing I was drugged and ultimately not responsible helps but it doesn't alleviate all the guilt. I'm sorry, but it doesn't."

Lindsay nodded. "You remember back when I first started at the lab? You were working on that big serial killer case that had been driving us crazy for months? We finally had gotten a piece of evidence that looked like it was going to give us the proof we needed to arrest the bastard who'd been murdering teenaged girls. You were processing the evidence and asked me to hand you a chemical. I handed you the bottle and you continued to work. Do you remember that?"

Danny nodded, the case still raw in his memory. He wasn't sure why she was bringing it up now, though. "Yeah, I remember. Not even two minutes after I used it, I realized something was horribly wrong. It didn't do what it was supposed to do and the evidence was ruined."

"I had left that part of the lab and was well on the other side of the building when I heard you screaming every profanity you knew, maybe even making up a few to go along with it. I came racing back to see what was wrong to find out our one best chance of solving the murders was destroyed because the wrong chemical was used. I felt so guilty I almost went and turned in my resignation to Mac right then."

"But it wasn't your fault." Danny argued. "One of the techs had screwed up when refilling the bottle. He put the wrong chemical in by accident when he was restocking; you just happened to be the unsuspecting person to grabbed it thinking it was the correct chemical. You couldn't have known what was going on. No need for you to feel guilty."

"Didn't stop me from feeling it though. Because that evidence was ruined, we had to keep looking. We knew who was responsible for the murder but we couldn't prove it because we didn't have the evidence to back it up. He killed three more girls before he slipped up again and left us something we could catch him with. I felt responsible for every one of those girls who died because of the evidence we lost. But every time I said something you were the first person to reassure me that it wasn't my fault. You told me that my guilt was misplaced and you wouldn't let me wallow in it."

"It was and you shouldn't." Danny argued even now. He was beginning to see where she was going when a small smile appeared on her lower lip. Smiling with her top lip was apparently too painful with her cracked cheekbone.

"How is what happened with you any different? I unwittingly handed you the wrong chemical because someone else screwed up and you unwittingly used me as a punching bag because someone left you incapable of making rational choices yourself. I understand the guilt you are feeling; I really do, maybe better than anyone else . But it's misplaced just like mine was and I'm not going to allow you to wallow in it any more than you did me." Her matter-of-fact tone said she considered the matter closed.

"Fine, as long as you accept the fact that you telling me that isn't going to magically make the guilt disappear any quicker than me doing so to you made yours." He warned.

He looked a little more relaxed than he had since he walked through the door and that in turn allowed Lindsay to relax a little as well. "Agreed."

Danny shook his head, marveling at how she could feel so at ease with him after what he had done even if it had been unwittingly. He leaned over and his finger hovered just above the worst of the bruising on her cheek but still without touching her. "So, the pain?"

"Manageable." She saw the disbelieving look he was giving her. "It is. The maxillary bone it touchy but since it's not a bone that really moves, it's not as bad as it would have been if it had been the mandible. The ribs are probably giving me the most trouble just because they twinge every time I try to move. And the wrist is driving me crazy more because the brace keeps pressing against the bruises."

"The pain pills help though, right?" Danny asked hopefully, not wanting her to be in pain. He hoped Mac and the team figured out who was responsible for this quickly because he'd love the opportunity to repay some of that pain she was feeling because she got stuck in the middle.

She shrugged. "Yeah, but I'm trying to take them only when the pain gets to be too much. Mac's been really kind to let me stay here but I know he's not going to agree to me going home as long as I'm taking them. Not to mention I can't work as long as I'm on them. I know field work will be out of the question until the ribs fully heal and the brace comes off but I could at least work in the lab until then."

He could hear her frustration. "Which is all a bunch of crock really. You know if Mac had been the one injured, he wouldn't be staying with anyone or, hell, even staying off work. He'd have walked out of that emergency room and straight back to work and damn anyone who tried to suggest he should take it easy."

His description was so perfect that Lindsay couldn't help but giggle. "Mac is more of the do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do kind of boss, isn't he? But the key word there is boss."

"Take the pills, Montana. Doc wouldn't have prescribed them if he didn't think you needed them. Have you taken any this morning?"

She shook her head and he raised his eyebrow in an unspoken question of where were they. She sighed and told him on the nightstand next to the bed in the spare bedroom. He retrieved them and returned to the couch reading the label. "One or two? Says you can take either."

"Just one for now. It'll dull the pain well enough. I save the two for nighttime." She held her hand out as he shook one pill into it. She took it with a swig of her cooling coffee. "Thanks. I don't suppose you'd do me another favor would you?"

"Anything." He assured her, his eyes reflecting the honesty on his word.

"The other night, Stella brought be a few things for me to wear but I need more stuff from my apartment. I was going to ask Mac about us stopping by to pick up a few things last night but with everything that happened it just didn't happen. I know he's going to send people by to check on me today but they are working so I'd hate to impose. You think you could go with me to my apartment so I can pack a proper bag? I'd go by myself but I'm pretty sure Mac would skin me alive if he found out and I'm also sure the bag would be heavier than what I'm supposed to lift."

"Sure, I thought you were going to ask for something difficult. I don't think you would do well on the back of my bike but we can leave it here and get a cab. I don't think you should risk getting jostled on the subway just yet. Are you sure you want me to go with you though?"

Lindsay reached out with her good hand and squeezed his hand, the first physical contact she'd had with him since he arrived. He didn't pull away from her grasp but she could tell he was uncomfortable with the contact. It saddened her because one of the first things she'd noticed about Danny was that he was a physical kind of guy. Even before there was any hint of feelings from him, he always seemed to be comfortable with touching her. Nothing major really, just a hand on her back when they were walking down a hall or a hand on her shoulder as they looked over evidence together. She never really paid much attention to it until now when it was conspicuously absent. "I trust you Danny." She got off the couch and went to the desk where she started writing on a pad of paper. Tearing the piece of paper off the pad, she saw Danny's quizzical look and explained. "You know as soon as we leave Flack, Adam, Stella, or Sheldon is going to show up to check on me. If I don't answer the door and there's no note explaining where I've gone, all hell's going to break lose."

"You tell them you're with me it still might." Danny quipped almost bitterly.

"Don't be ridiculous." Lindsay argued but in truth she had thought the same thing. That's why in her note she hadn't said she was with Danny but with a friend. She grabbed the spare keys that Mac had left for her and taped the note to the front door before pulling it closed and locking it.

The couple that technically wasn't made their way down the hall to the elevator. The car gave a little lurch as it started its decent. Lindsay stumbled with it just a little and almost instinctively, Danny's hand was on the small of her back keeping her steady. She smiled at the contact. It was the first time he'd willingly touched her since entering the apartment. Maybe they would be able to get through this after all.

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"She's not here." Stella grumbled as she, Brett, and Mac approached the apartment door and she saw the note Lindsay had left. "She's gone to her apartment to pick up a few things."

Mac frowned. "She shouldn't be going out by herself. I would have taken her to get things she needed if she'd said something. Any of us would."

Brett laughed despite the seriousness of the situation. "My sister has a stubborn streak two miles wide. Mix that with the independent streak that's ten miles wide and she's pretty much trouble on two legs. Mom always complained that Lindsay started the terrible twos at two months and never outgrew it."

"She's not alone." Stella supplied after fully reading the note. "She says a friend came by and is going with her. You think that's Danny?"

Mac nodded. "She would have said who otherwise."

"Damn, that'll be the first place Brian goes. If Brian sees Lindsay as bruised up as you say she is AND Danny is there, it'll be a fight to the finish."

"Let's go."

- CSI: NY - CSI: NY - CSI: NY -

"Surely I won't be there more than a couple more days." Lindsay muttered as she carefully folded a couple of outfits and placed them in the small travel suitcase opened on her bed. Danny smirked.

"I should warn you that when Flack stayed with him, it was only supposed to be about a week but it turned into more like three. Flack said he thought Mac secretly enjoyed the company and kept coming up with reasons for Flack to stay. But apparently Mac is a pretty good cook, so he didn't complain too much."

Lindsay thought about the mysterious girlfriend Mac currently had and didn't think he had that much of a need for a roommate anymore. At least not her, but she didn't say anything. "Mac said Flack had stayed there after the explosion. I couldn't figure out why there though. Flack has family in town and you for a best friend. Why did he need to stay with Mac?"

"You've seen my apartment, Montana. Not exactly extra room for a roommate, even temporarily. And, Flack's dad and sister had driven him crazy in the hospital and he was scared it would be much worse if he stayed with them or vice versa. Mac seemed like the safest choice when he offered the spare room. You need a hand with anything?"

She shook her head. "I just need to pack a few things from the bathroom and then I'll be ready." She disappeared into the bathroom just as someone knocked on her apartment door. "I guess Mac's spy hunted me down anyway. Can you get it while I finish up here?"

"Sure." Danny left her bedroom and went to the door. Expecting it to be someone from the lab, he opened it without checking the peephole. It wasn't someone from the lab but he recognized him from the many pictures he'd seen as one of the twins. For just a moment the two men locked eyes, one pair turning darker with undisguised rage. Danny never saw the fist coming until it connected solidly with his jaw.

He hit the ground hard as Lindsay's brother followed him down, a murderous rage flickering in his eyes. "You hurt my baby sister and now I'm going to hurt you."


End file.
